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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217253">Outnumbered, Outgunned, Outmanoeuvred, and Winning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellalba/pseuds/Ellalba'>Ellalba</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coriesocks/pseuds/RuArcher'>RuArcher (Coriesocks)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kylux and adjacent fics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Banter, Blow Jobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Happy Ending, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kidnapping, M/M, POV Alternating, POV Armitage Hux, POV Kylo Ren, Prisoner Armitage Hux, Restraints, Rimming, Slow Burn, Spy Armitage Hux, That's Not How The Force Works (Star Wars), liberties taken with canon, most canon events ignored or manipulated to suit my needs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:33:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>80,372</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217253</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellalba/pseuds/Ellalba, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coriesocks/pseuds/RuArcher</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux’s plans for ridding the First Order of Kylo Ren are ruined when Ren discovers his deception. With no choice but to flee, Hux ends up in the hands of the Resistance. It’s not ideal, but at least he gets a break from Ren. Until he doesn’t.<br/>When Ren starts appearing in Hux’s dreams, Hux wonders if the stress of being a spy has taken more of a toll on his sanity than he’d previously thought. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he has to deal with constant pestering from Poe and a mildly inconvenient kidnapping. Of course, it’s Ren who saves him in the end. There’s clearly no getting away from him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kylux and adjacent fics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079093</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Kylux Big Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Endless thank yous to Nerd for encouraging me to do this, to Rudbeckia and Lettersbyelise for the betaing and for keeping me going, and to <a href="https://ellalba.tumblr.com/">Ellalba</a> for creating the fantastic art and helping me with their vast star wars knowledge &lt;3&lt;3&lt;3</p><p>The title comes from a song by Sifu Hotman. Thank you again to Rudbeckia for the suggestion!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two weeks. Hux closed his eyes against the wave of impotent rage.</p><p>Two kriffing weeks they’d been stuck in this obscure backwater quadrant on the fringes of the Outer Rim, purely so that Ren could locate some ancient piece of tat. They should be pushing forward with their conquest of the galaxy. The Resistance would have no problem running them into the ground at this rate. They <i>were</i> running them into the ground.</p><p><i>…karking X-wings everywhere!</i> </p><p>
  <i>We’re taking heavy fire!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>We need reinforcements. Draw them away from the Supreme Leader!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Orders are to hold them off. No help coming.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Damn it!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Gundark seven down. Repeat. Gundark seven down. That’s five lost.</i>
</p><p>Hux winced, his nose twitching into a sneer. How anyone was supposed to take the First Order seriously when all they ever did was run menial errands with one of—no, <i>the</i> finest destroyer in the fleet was beyond him. This trifling skirmish demonstrated perfectly just how useless they’d grown under Ren’s ‘leadership’. </p><p>
  <i>There are too many. We’re outnumbered. Where are they coming from?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’m hit! Gundark two down. Cover the Supreme Leader!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It’s like they knew we were coming—</i>
</p><p>
  <i>They’re everywhere! I’ve got two on my tail. I—</i>
</p><p>Hux paced the bridge, the sounds of the battle filling his ears. Sweat trickled down his spine. He kept his steps regular. Five to starboard. Turn. Five to port. His undershirt clung to his body, damp and uncomfortable. The jumble of voices coming over the comm becoming more desperate as their fighters took hits. He had to hand it to the Resistance; they fought with a ruthlessness he couldn’t help but admire. He paused at the lip of the port-side crew pit, watching as another light blinked out—only eight now remained. Including Ren’s shuttle. The officers in the crew pit barked instructions and fingers flying over the consoles, moving with droid-like efficiency in the cramped space. Hux allowed himself a brief moment to appreciate the beauty of his people working so smoothly together. Though it was obvious there was little they could do to turn the tide of the skirmish now. </p><p>A burst of static announced the loss of another ship and Hux held his breath, hope fluttering tentative wings in his chest. <i>Let it be his. Let it be his.</i> But then Ren’s voice, ragged with rage, rang out clear across the comm chatter and crushed all hope flat. Hux’s heart plummeted. </p><p>He strode away, fists clenched at the small of his back, and stared out at the distant stars. Let the vastness calm him. There was so much left to explore, to conquer. Once the First Order was under his control, they’d be unstoppable. He just needed one last obstacle out of the way... </p><p>The skirmish was tapering off. Both sides had suffered heavy losses, but Ren’s voice continued to sound over the comm; his continued survival taunting Hux. He refused to lose hope, though. The Resistance still outnumbered them. All Hux had to do was wait. It <i>would</i> go his way. </p><p>He glanced down at the control panel in time to see another light blink out, and quickly dismissed the twinge of guilt at the death of another First Order pilot. This was war; loss was expected. And this was necessary. </p><p>Besides, everything that was happening now was Ren’s fault. There was nothing for Hux to feel guilty about. If Ren hadn’t commandeered a squadron of TIE fighters for another of his ‘personal’ missions, there would have been nothing for the Resistance to ambush. Ever since usurping the title of Supreme Leader from that withered prune Snoke, Ren seemed to think nothing of taking off across the galaxy for reasons that were of little to no benefit to the First Order. His lack of respect for the principles of the organisation he’d snatched from Hux’s grasp was maddening and there was no way they could continue under his inept leadership. It had been bad enough having to work alongside him when Snoke was around, but now… Now, it was impossible. At least with Snoke, they’d had a seemingly inexhaustible supply of credits. All Ren had was a bit of hand-wavey nonsense and a laundry-list of personal issues that he let cloud every action. Hux couldn’t stand back and let things continue as they were. Ren would strip the Order of everything they—everything <i>Hux</i>—had worked so hard to achieve. The Resistance would be the least of their problems if Ren kept them on this path. And Hux hadn’t fought to get where he was only to sit back and watch it vanish from underneath him. </p><p>Soon, though, order would be restored. Hux would get the First Order back on track if it killed him.</p><p>A lull in comm noise caught Hux’s attention. Was it over? Had he— </p><p><i>“It was a trap. They knew we were coming.”</i> Ren’s voice crackled across the comm, his anger clear even through the distortion of his voice modulator. Hux froze, disappointment wrapping its clammy fingers around his neck. Ren was alive—how was he still alive? The man had more lives than a cat—and he was <i>suspicious.</i> Hux kept his posture straight; his gaze trained blindly on the vista beyond the large viewport as his mind raced ahead, working through every eventuality of the current scenario. He’d known there was a chance Ren would survive when he… did what he did. But it had been such a remote possibility he’d all but dismissed it. No matter. He’d just have to try again the next time Ren went out—and he was certain it wouldn’t be a long wait. Of course, Ren would expect some kind of investigation; assurances that it wouldn’t happen again. Hux was confident in his abilities, though. And he could always find a convenient scapegoat if necessary…  </p><p>“General Hux.” Mitaka appeared at his shoulder, eyebrow twitching, and Hux realised he’d neglected to pay attention to the rest of Ren’s communication.</p><p>“Report,” he snapped, noting the slight quiver in Mitaka’s spine.  </p><p>“The Supreme Leader has requested we send another squadron to—”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“I— No?”</p><p>“No. Supreme Leader Ren has wasted enough First Order resources on this futile mission. I’ll not sanction further unnecessary waste.” It was unlikely any TIE fighters they sent would make it to the battle in time to be of any use. The battle was lost, and he’d not facilitate one of Ren’s wild follies further. Mitaka didn’t need to hear his reasoning though. “Inform our glorious leader that the order is to retreat. Withdraw to the Finalizer before further losses are incurred. Pending his approval, of course.” He muttered the last bit. It galled him that his own officers hesitated to follow his commands when there was a risk of them contradicting Ren’s wishes. As if that man knew the first thing about effectively commanding anything.</p><p>The colour drained from Mitaka’s face and for a tense moment, Hux wondered if he was about to faint, but then he straightened and rallied himself. Nodding sharply and snapping to attention, he said, “Yes, General.”</p><p>Hux listened to Mitaka relay the order. Heard the colourful invectives Ren had for him. He opened his mouth, ready to unleash a stream of choice words to match Ren’s when suddenly the line went dead. All comms between the Finalizer and Ren’s greatly diminished party were cut. After all of the noise, the silence was an almost physical presence on the bridge. No one spoke. No one dared even breathe. There was only the hum of the ship’s life systems and the low ever-present rumble of the engines. Hux felt almost lightheaded, his whole body tingling, a heavy lump settling in his gut. He strode over to the crew pit to peer down at the control consoles again, heart in his mouth, but then… there was the light representing Ren’s shuttle, still blinking on the screen. He bit back a frustrated growl. The kriffing arse had shut off comms in a fit of pique, no doubt. Why did he insist on making Hux’s life so difficult?</p><p>Stars, but Ren was going to be in a foul mood when he returned.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ren’s command shuttle hurtled into the hangar, trailing smoke in its wake. Evidence of the engagement with the Resistance was obvious even at distance, but it was only as it drew closer that Hux could see how bad it was—how close he’d come to succeeding. The cockpit had taken substantial damage; scorched along the top with a large crack bisecting the viewport and several panels missing. A jagged gash in the underside of the craft belched thick smoke and the left wing hadn’t folded up into landing position, rendering the landing gear on that side useless. The ship scraped across the hanger floor, barrelling into several waiting Transporters, flattening a handful of labour droids that didn’t scatter fast enough, and clipping a hover loader, sending it spiralling into the bulkhead before coming to an undignified, lopsided halt against one of the TIE fighter launching racks. </p>
<p>In the moments that followed, it felt like the entire hangar was holding its breath. Mangled droids, shuttles, and control panels sparked and crackled angrily, adding to the smoke already filling up the hangar and causing even the most stoic Stormtroopers to edge away. An unsightly gouge now marred the previously pristine hangar floor, tracing the shuttle’s progress through the hangar, in case the path of destruction wasn’t a clear enough indication. No one was paying the damage any mind, though. All eyes were on the smoking hulk of their Supreme Leader’s shuttle, anticipation palpable. </p>
<p>A loud clang rang out as something heavy fell from the ship’s hull, jolting everyone out of their stupor. The Stormtroopers present scurried into formation, lining up in regulation welcome stance, while hangar technicians and droids spread out like ants on a disturbed nest, assessing the damage and making the area safe.</p>
<p>Safe in his elevated position on the raised walkway, Hux pulled out his datapad and made a quick note to add the projected cost of repairs to the running tally he was keeping. He jabbed with increasing vigour at the screen as his irritation percolated. The hanger was going to need completely refitting to make it safe, shuttles and droids would have to be scrapped, crew would have to be pulled from other jobs… It would be a nightmare. A completely avoidable nightmare, had Ren done the decent thing and died like he was supposed to. </p>
<p>Hux muttered under his breath as he finished up a memo to Maintenance. He could practically see the credits slipping out into the atmosphere like so much ejected waste. The hanger would have to be sealed off for weeks while repairs were undertaken; new materials requisitioned; shuttles relocated…  </p>
<p>He clenched his teeth against the distinctly unprofessional tirade that was threatening to spill out and cast an assessing gaze over Ren’s shuttle. It was clear that he had been very lucky to make it back at all—that was assuming he was in there. The hatch was still sealed shut and there had been no word from him since he’d cut off all communication mid-ambush. The cockpit looked to be held together only by the sheer force of Ren’s stubbornness and the smoke billowing out of the rear was steadily filling the hangar with the acrid scent of burnt electronics. It glowed an eerie blue in the light reflected from the magnetic shield and clung to the back of Hux’s throat as soon as he breathed it in. He stifled the urge to gag—it wouldn’t do to cough up his lunch in front of everyone—and swallowed carefully a few times until the desire passed. </p>
<p>Why hadn’t he stayed on the bridge, or used the time to go through the mountain of reports that were clogging up in his inbox? He didn’t <i>need</i> to be here to ‘welcome’ Ren back, and he’d have to see him at the debrief anyway. Something had compelled him to make the trip down to the hangar, though. A perverse curiosity, perhaps. A repressed masochistic desire of his to position himself near the source of all his migraines. Maybe it was just that he couldn’t resist the opportunity to see with his own eyes what state Ren was in; wanted to witness firsthand his pointless, destructive tantrum so he’d have something to rub in his face at a later date. </p>
<p>And maybe there was a tiny part of him that needed reassurance that Ren didn’t know, that he didn’t suspect anything, because if he did… </p>
<p>Whispered conversations started up, gaining urgency as the hatch remained resolutely closed. Crew members speculating, wondering, casting questioning glances between Hux and the smoking vessel. The longer the hatch remained sealed, the more Hux’s hope grew. Tentative shoots breaking through his hardened logic, blossoming into ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’. It was Ren’s shuttle, but that didn’t mean Ren was inside. Could it be… ?</p>
<p>Two TIE fighters limped into the hangar, distracting Hux from further pursuing his day dream. They touched down with much more finesse than Ren’s shuttle had demonstrated, although they too would need a thorough service before being sent out again. There was a brief flurry of activity as the pilots disembarked, but the command shuttle remained ominously still, like the battered corpse of some large winged beast. Hopefully not a ghastly omen of things to come.   </p>
<p>Hux sighed. Irritated. Beside him, Phasma twitched in his direction, but said nothing. He’d forgotten she was there; wasn’t entirely sure <i>why</i> she was there—welcoming returning personnel wasn’t exactly within her purview—but he suspected she’d come for a front row seat at another of his and Ren’s…interactions. Despite his best efforts to maintain an air of professionalism, the animosity between them was known throughout the Order. Hux was well aware of the curious glances whenever they spoke, the gossip that surrounded them, the kriffing <i>betting pools.</i> He expected that more than a few of the gathered crew were there to observe the potential fallout and collect on wagers. </p>
<p>He hoped Phasma hadn’t sunk so low as to gamble on his gallant attempts to not strangle Ren, but he supposed he wouldn’t blame her if she had. They had to find their amusement where they could these days. Unless… Unless she knew…? But, no, surely she couldn’t. He’d been so careful to cover his tracks, planned every move to the last detail. And he’d involved no one else. There was no way— He shook the lingering doubt away and pulled back his shoulders, glaring down at the hulking, black monstrosity in his hangar. The plan might have failed, but it would be fine. There was always next time. It had to be fine. </p>
<p>At last, a clunk, a hiss, and the hatch on the command shuttle began to inch open. It lowered with a juddering, teeth-rattling screech before dropping the last few feet and hitting the deck with a hollow clang that Hux felt in the back of his skull. Crew and maintenance droids who’d been edging closer to inspect the damage scattered to the corners of the hangar, suddenly very busy with other tasks.</p>
<p>No one appeared at the opening for several seconds and once again it felt like the entire hangar was holding its breath. Hux couldn’t help but lean forward minutely, straining his eyes to see through the haze to catch some glimpse of what lay inside. The hatch loomed, dark and foreboding, seeming to suck in all sound, the silence bleeding through the hangar like the smoke that still billowed from the shuttle. But then a shadowy figure appeared, pausing at the top of the ramp for a fraction of a second before striding down, a long loping gait, robes swishing out dramatically, heavy booted footsteps echoing throughout the hangar. Ren. His hood was up, his masked face obscured by shadows and all the more menacing for it, but Hux could easily envision the childish pout behind the mask; the perpetual scowl that put Hux more in mind of a sulky teen than a powerful leader.  </p>
<p>When he reached the deck, Ren lurched forward and Hux realised he was about to activate his lightsaber only a split second before the flickering red blade arced through the air and cleaved a passing labour droid in two. A portable console was next. Then another droid. A stack of supply crates hacked to pieces. The hull of a transporter, split open. </p>
<p>Hux bristled. The man was such a <i>child!</i> He didn’t care a whit about First Order property; about comporting himself with dignity and professionalism. He didn’t care about <i>anything</i> but his nonsense religion and causing Hux headache after headache. He should have left him bloodied and broken in the snow on Starkiller. No one would have known if he hadn’t made any effort to save him. Ren would have disintegrated, blasted into millions of pieces, and Hux’s life would be free from this constant thorn in his side.</p>
<p>Ren deactivated his lightsaber as suddenly as he’d turned it on and the abrupt lack of its crackling hum made Hux’s ears buzz. Debris fluttered in the air, dancing on unseen currents like dry leaves falling from a tree before settling on the floor around Ren’s feet. His chest heaved, panting breaths rasping through the vocoder, somehow audible over the rumble of the engines. </p>
<p>No one dared move. Hux could feel eyes on him again: his officers, silently seeking direction; the hangar technicians and maintenance staff imploring him to diffuse Ren’s anger before he could do more damage; Phasma, watching him closely in that weirdly intense way she had. He sighed inwardly, wanting nothing more than to return to his quarters and forget the last couple of cycles had happened. But since that would be impossible, he nodded, assenting to work continuing as normal, and the hanger erupted into life. </p>
<p>Hux returned his gaze to Ren, taking in the man’s rigid posture. He wasn’t afraid of Ren’s ire, but he could feel his rage even at this distance; it was an almost physical thing, thick and suffocating, reaching out across the vast hangar and closing in around him. It rivalled his own, warring for dominance with the deep-rooted disappointment that drenched Hux’s every cell. How had Ren made it back? He should be a smear across the surface of that planet, or particles floating in space. He shouldn’t be here, destroying Hux’s hangar, looming over Hux’s crew like an unwelcome shadow, an apparition of Death.</p>
<p>As if sensing his scrutiny, Ren glanced up at the walkway and Hux fought the urge to jerk away. He hadn’t realised how close he’d gotten to the railing. </p>
<p>Maintaining a carefully blank expression, Hux took a step back and looked down at his datapad, scrolling through his messages without reading them. He could still keenly feel Ren’s eyes on him, probing him, and cursed his pale cheeks as they heated. </p>
<p>“Get maintenance to assess the damage on the two Transporters. They might yet be salvageable,” he snapped to the nearest officer before adding under his breath, “Unlike Lord Ren’s personal vessel.” It was perhaps a little petty, but he doubted anyone would think less of him for it—it was the truth, after all. The officer, Melis, a stern-faced woman who he’d only recently promoted to lieutenant, nodded.</p>
<p>“Already assigned, General Hux, sir.”</p>
<p>“Excellent. Thank you, Melis.” He smiled tightly, his eyes still firmly fixed to his datapad. “I want a full report on all damage, and the estimated cost of repairs and any replacements required, as soon as it’s available,” he added. This was practically written into protocol since it was so commonplace now, but he had to say something to take his mind off the feeling of Ren’s presence; the sensation of that glare beneath the dead-eyed mask, focused on him.</p>
<p>“Of course, General.”</p>
<p>Hux’s eyes were drawn back to the hangar in time to see four of Ren’s Knights striding impassively down the ramp from the command shuttle. They drew to a halt flanking their master, two on either side, silent yet deeply unnerving. As much as Hux disliked Ren, he disliked his Knights even more. He detested having such an unknown, deadly element on his ship, especially when they weren’t under his control. They largely kept to their barracks, deep within the bowels of the <i>Finalizer,</i> but occasionally they’d venture out and the sight of them stalking through his ship never failed to set Hux’s teeth on edge.</p>
<p>Ren didn’t acknowledge their presence beside him. He snarled something at one of the technicians who’d been unfortunate enough to stray into his line of sight and gestured at his shuttle, before continuing his march. Heading straight towards the stairs. </p>
<p>Straight towards Hux. </p>
<p>
  <i>Kriff.</i>
</p>
<p>He wasn’t afraid of Ren—no amount of posturing or temper tantrums could make him fear that overgrown toddler—but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong; a primal instinct screaming at him to run.</p>
<p>He should have returned to the bridge as soon as he’d seen Ren’s ship and satisfied his perverse curiosity. He should have returned to the bridge once Ren had disembarked and he’d seen that he was indeed alive (the bastard). He should have returned to the bridge the moment before Ren looked up and clocked him. There was no way he could go now, though, not without looking like he was fleeing. </p>
<p>Ren’s heavy footsteps rang out as he climbed the stairway. Growing louder as he drew closer. Unease curdled in Hux’s stomach. </p>
<p>If the kriffing Resistance hadn’t been so bloody useless, Ren would have been little more than a painful memory by now; consigned to nothing but a blip in the glorious history of the First Order. But no, of course they managed to mess up—all they had were the exact coordinates of Ren’s intended destination, the plotted route, and timings of his intended journey. Hux couldn’t have made it clearer. He’d handed them Ren on an Upsilon-class shaped platter—at great personal risk, no less—and all they’d done was dent his ship. </p>
<p>Hux inclined his head as Ren drew level to him. “Supreme Leader,” he clipped, hands clasped behind his back. “How was the mission?”</p>
<p>“I’m sure you’re already aware,” Ren growled in reply. He swept past Hux, a flurry of black cloth and damp, musky heat and Hux grimaced involuntarily. He smelled like a soggy Ewok that had been smoking something pungent. </p>
<p>Great. He was in one of <i>those</i> moods, Hux thought sourly. No doubt the hangar wouldn’t be Ren’s only victim tonight.</p>
<p>Hux fell into step with him and they strode out of the hangar together, Ren’s Knights and Hux’s own small contingent falling in neatly behind them. “It doesn’t hurt to hear it from your perspective,” Hux said after a moment. “After all, one only gets a partial impression when hearing it over the comm or watching blips on a screen.” </p>
<p>“And you can’t wait for the debrief like everyone else?” Ren’s tone was… off. There was anger there—Hux could feel it coming off him in waves—but something else too. He sounded…distracted. Not entirely present. For a brief moment, he wished he could see his face.</p>
<p>“If I could be assured of your presence at said debriefing, perhaps I would wait. But since we’re both here now and I’ve got better things to do with off-shift than wait for you to not show up to a debriefing, I thought I’d get the highlights from the orbak’s mouth, as it were.” He felt rather than saw Ren’s glare. “Supreme Leader,” he added after a suitably insubordinate beat. </p>
<p>“Why such interest?” </p>
<p>“<i>’Why such—’?</i> Of course I’m interested,” Hux snapped. “Those were my stormtroopers, my fighter pilots, <i>my</i> people you lost. I need to know their sacrifice wasn’t completely pointless. Do you have any idea—” He cut himself off. It was too much. He was letting his irritation take control of his tongue. If Ren noticed him getting worked up—</p>
<p>He was half a step ahead before he realised Ren had stopped. “You think I went there with that intention?” Ren whipped around and smacked his hand into the bulkhead inches from Hux’s face. He was so close, Hux could see his distorted reflection in the silver trim of Ren’s mask. “We were ambushed,” he ground out, leaning in. Hux swore he could make out his eyes through the visor. “There is a traitor on the Finalizer.”</p>
<p>Hux felt as if a leaden weight had fixed him to the floor, trapping his limbs. It shouldn’t be a surprise that Ren had made the leap to assuming there was a traitor. It wasn’t even much of a leap. More a slight shuffle forwards from his earlier assertion that it had been a trap. Ren couldn’t know for sure, though. And he certainly couldn’t suspect that Hux— No. He shut down that line of thought instantly. He’d seen Ren in interrogations; he knew the man was capable of pulling out thoughts from a person’s mind. It had never seemed a particularly subtle process, but he couldn’t take any chances. He was so close to achieving what he wanted… he just had to mind his thoughts, not give anything away.  </p>
<p>Ren tilted his head to the side. “What are you worried about, General? Surely you have nothing to hide.”</p>
<p> A muscle in Hux’s jaw twitched as he fought to keep his emotions guarded. “Of course I have nothing to hide.” <i>…Kriff.</i> Bile rose in his throat. He’d not felt a thing. Had Ren been in his head? Surely he’d have felt <i>something.</i> Stars above. “I’m not worried about anything,” he snapped. “Why would you think that?” </p>
<p>“You’d be surprised the things people broadcast when they want something to remain hidden.” Ren’s voice was cold and emotionless through the vocoder. He leaned in even closer but Hux refused to shrink back. If Ren was in his mind, Hux wanted him out. </p>
<p>He narrowed his eyes. <i>Kriff off, Ren,</i> he hissed with as much vitriol as he could throw behind the words in his head, picturing himself slamming the door to his mind shut. </p>
<p>A pause. But nothing more. The reaction, however slight, gave Hux a small burst of confidence, even if it suggested that Ren <i>had </i> been inside his head.</p>
<p>“There is no way the Resistance could have known my whereabouts,” Ren continued, “and yet they were lying in wait. Someone on this ship has committed treason. They have betrayed the First Order; betrayed <i>me.</i> I’m going to find them and they <i>will</i> be punished. A clear message needs to be sent to deter anyone else from entertaining traitorous thoughts.”</p>
<p>Hux swallowed, his fingers twitching around his datapad. “Your mission was logged on the system, accessible to anyone with the right code cylinder. What do you propose we do? Wait until someone projects their traitorous thoughts directly into your mind? Or do you plan on rifling through the heads of everyone on this ship?”</p>
<p>“If I have to, that’s what I’ll do.”</p>
<p>Hux scoffed, clutching at false bravado. “Really, Ren. I would rather you didn’t reduce my entire crew to gibbering husks. The First Order has put a lot of time and resources into—”</p>
<p>“I thought you’d be more concerned. This betrayal affects you too.”</p>
<p>“Believe me, I am concerned. But aside from reviewing security footage and carefully monitoring all out-going communication in the future, there is little we can do for now.” He held himself rigidly, every ounce of his being focused on holding onto his irritation, using it to keep the fear of being found out at bay, to keep the tremor from his legs.</p>
<p>Ren straightened, inserting a bit of much needed distance between them and Hux could have wilted from the sudden absence of an immediate threat. He felt like he could breathe again. Relief was short-lived, though, as Ren reached for the clasps on the underside of his helmet. He lifted the hideous thing from his face, revealing brown eyes, bruised with exhaustion; dark hair hanging limply around his face, errant strands clinging to his sweat-damp cheeks. He looked hollowed out. Raw. Had he slept at all since Hux had last seen him? </p>
<p>The helmet hit the floor with a dull thud and Hux could only stare, the sense of unease growing, sending icy tendrils through his body. Despite knowing what Ren looked like beneath the mask, he never ceased to be taken aback by how human he was. With the helmet, he seemed unnatural, a nightmare come to life, but without it he was just a man. Barely more than a boy, though Hux knew him to be not much below his own age. </p>
<p>As Hux watched, Ren’s full lips twitched into a smile, cool and dangerous, and dread trailed clammy fingers down his spine. </p>
<p>He steadied his breathing. Kept his gaze fixed on the scar on Ren’s cheek, vivid against the pallid cast of his skin. His thoughts coiled and twisted like a nest of eels, slipping out of reach as he tried to cast a mental net over them to dampen their broadcast. <i>Don’t think,</i> he ordered himself, <i>don’t give him anything.</i>. But with each suppressed thought, another replaced it. He focused on numbers. Cost analysis spreadsheets. The running total of Ren’s damage costs. The rotation schedule of the socks in his drawer which ensured even wear. Anything to steer his thoughts away from incriminating words or images.</p>
<p>Ren took a step closer but Hux held his ground. He felt like he was teetering on the edge of something vast and terrible, and Ren didn’t look like he’d be reaching out a helping hand anytime soon. “My destination wasn’t logged,” Ren said, his eyes lit with a manic sort of amusement. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” That vast and terrible thing lurched closer. Hux had a horrible feeling he’d walked into something there would be no escaping from. “Of course it was. All incoming and outgoing craft are—”</p>
<p>“The ships were logged, but I kept the destination out of the official record.”</p>
<p>“But then— How—” Hux hated how uncertain he sounded. Ren’s Knights loomed large and unforgiving in his peripheral vision, but he also caught sight of the gleam of Phasma’s armour, saw her fingers twitch almost imperceptibly on her blaster. The sight bolstered him; he could get out of this. Ren didn’t know anything.</p>
<p>“The full details were privy to very few,” Ren continued. “I suspected there was a spy, you see. I just didn’t know who.” His brows knitted as his gaze skittered across Hux’s face, one hand coming up, but not touching.</p>
<p>Hux swallowed slowly. “And now?”</p>
<p>Ren leaned in. They were almost toe to toe. Ren was only an inch taller, but he was twice as broad. He engulfed Hux’s slender body at this proximity, and Hux found himself edging back without conscious thought. </p>
<p>“And now,” Ren smiled again, a predator’s grin. “I’ve narrowed it down.” His fingers flexed and Hux felt a pressure around his neck. </p>
<p>The situation was less than ideal, but Hux was certain he’d be dead already if Ren knew as much as he was implying. So, while he was alive, there was still a chance of escaping. But how? He could have kicked himself for not considering this outcome; for not imagining that Ren would confront him directly; for forgetting that he was more intelligent than Hux gave him credit for. The weight of everyone’s gazes bore down on him as he struggled to figure a way out. Watching him. Judging him. If Ren was hoping to humiliate him into submission, he was going the right way about it. </p>
<p>“Narrowed it down,” he parroted feebly. </p>
<p>“Yes. I just need proof.”</p>
<p>“What—” He stumbled backwards as something solid and invisible shoved him in the chest, forcing the air from his lungs. His head struck the bulkhead with dizzying strength, and he gasped for breath as the pressure around his neck tightened. A twitch of Ren’s fingers and Hux was yanked onto his toes. He scrabbled uselessly at the tightening pressure around his neck, lashing out with his feet, hoping for a well-placed kick to the shin or groin. But he only managed a glancing blow before his legs and arms were snapped back, pinned to the bulkhead by the same invisible force.</p>
<p>One of Ren’s hands skimmed the air at the side of his face, the barest whisper of a touch, and a searing pain shot through Hux’s skull; a plasma blade thrust behind his eyes. Burning, burning. Ren’s face filled his watery vision. He was so close, Hux could feel his chest heaving against his own; Ren’s breath on his face, hot and sour. The probing of his mind, like an extension of Ren’s fingers, rifling carelessly through his thoughts. Tears streamed unbidden down his face as he gritted his teeth against the intrusion but there was nothing he could do. He was helpless. Ren was laying waste to his mind, ripping down his feeble defences faster than he could throw them up.</p>
<p>He was dimly aware of a commotion beyond the immediate circle of their bodies. Raised voices. The clatter of duraplas. He could see nothing beyond Ren, though. His vision had shrunk down to those eyes—there was a softness there hidden beneath the intensity of his expression and it drew him in—but it was blurring, fading. The hold around his throat tightened but he didn’t know if it was Ren’s hand or the Force now. A pressure on his chest; a tight band constricting his lungs making every breath painful. Colour drained out of everything as the blackness crept in from the edges. </p>
<p>His last thought, dragged out before his mind gave up consciousness, an image of Ren, black and red, broken, stark against the snow. And fear; thick, choking fear. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Kylo had known something was wrong for a while. It had lurked in the edges of his consciousness, ominous and indefinable, always just out of reach. A persistent itch in the Force that remained frustratingly amorphous no matter how long or how often he meditated on it.</p>
<p>It was surely no coincidence that at the same time, the Resistance now always seemed to be there, waiting to ambush them whenever they headed planetside or managed to divert covert supply lines or undercut them when arranging new trade deals.  He’d long suspected there was a traitor within the ranks of the First Order—someone with high-level access or else adept at slicing—but his subtle skimming of select minds had brought up nothing other than the usual petty squabbles and political gaming. He didn’t have the patience to be gentle any more, though. The most recent ambush on TG-658 may have looked like just one in a long line of setbacks, but the fact that he’d deliberately hidden the details of the mission highlighted the personal nature of the attack, and had brought with it a renewed sense of urgency. He knew, now, without a doubt, there was a spy.</p>
<p>In front of him, Hux shuddered and emitted a whine; the sound weak and fractured. Kylo narrowed his focus, shutting out everything else. There was only Hux; his usually neat hair fallen across his forehead; tendons taut in his neck as he clenched his jaw; his face flushed, sweat beading at his temples. Still he held on, still he resisted. Kylo doubted Hux was directly responsible for the recent ambushes, but who was he protecting? Hux ran too tight a ship to allow a spy to slip past his notice. Could he be part of a larger operation to seize power? Were there lots of Resistance sympathisers running rampant in the Order? </p>
<p> He pushed harder, irritation making him careless. Hux’s mind wasn’t the neatly ordered filing system he’d expected. Memories, thoughts, and impressions all swirled together, murky, obscured, fragmented. Echoes of the past hidden behind false memories; fake constructs so established he doubted even Hux could tell what was real or not anymore. There was so much buried, so much shoved to the side and covered over. Kylo had interrogated a lot of people, seen a lot of minds, but never had he experienced anything like Hux’s. Layer upon layer of obfuscation dragged Kylo further down, deeper and deeper into Hux’s mind as he followed teasing glimpses of the unaltered recollection. </p>
<p>Kylo hoped he was wrong; hoped Hux had nothing to do with this. Despite their… <i>strained</i> relationship, he was fully aware of how important Hux was to the smooth running of the First Order. And he didn’t need to read minds to know how loyal people were to him. But he also knew how ambitious Hux was; how he was ruthless and efficient and a dangerous man to turn his back on; how he’d wanted the Supreme Leader title for himself. If anyone had the balls and the motive to try and take him down, it was Hux. </p>
<p>He leaned in, nose almost touching Hux’s cheek with how close they had become. His fingers flexed as he delved deeper, trying to sift through the nonsense Hux kept pushing at him. He ignored Hux’s pained cry. He <i>had</i> to be hiding something. No one would put this much effort into keeping him out unless there was something they didn’t want him to see. </p>
<p>Hux jolted, his body stiffening before going slack with another pathetic whimper. He was growing weaker, his mind slowly opening up. Kylo redoubled his efforts, restraining himself only a little. He didn’t want to break Hux completely, not when he could still be useful. </p>
<p>New images began to present themselves. Only brief glimpses at first, the memories snatched away before Kylo could have a proper look, but as Hux’s consciousness faded, Ren was able to grab hold of some, inspect them before they vanished. Nothing made any sense to start with, but gradually the snatches of memory started to coalesce.</p>
<p>There were flashes of what must have been Hux’s childhood. A young red-headed boy being beaten, humiliated, by an older man who bore more than a passing resemblance to him. A lake, a young Hux sitting alone on the bank, knees hugged to his chest while he watched other people play together. Another shift. There were laughing faces, fists. Then blood. But not Hux’s. A dark room, quiet but for muffled sobs. </p>
<p>Kylo hissed and drew back. He’d gone too deep. The information he needed would be closer to the surface. Something recent. </p>
<p>Parades, medals, awards. Pride, smug satisfaction. But always the feeling of never enough, of needing more, of wanting to prove himself. </p>
<p>The memory of Starkiller shone bright. A linchpin moment. Kylo wasn’t sure how he’d missed it on the way down. There was pride again, all consuming, burning brighter than a star and just as powerful.</p>
<p>But then… Disappointment. Fear. Shame. Kylo inhaled sharply as he recognised himself lying in the snow. Bloodied. Broken. Hux’s fear a cold sharp knife through Kylo’s thoughts, but there was something softer there too: worry, concern. Hux hadn’t been scared for himself, not entirely—he’d been scared for Kylo. Pissed off, sure, but the worry was unmistakable. The revelation was almost enough to throw Kylo out of Hux’s head. Why had Hux not said anything afterwards? Kylo had woken up in the medbay of the Finalizer with only a droid for company, his thoughts and emotions jumbled together into a messy pot of despair and self-loathing. He lingered on the memory; viewing it from the other side was enlightening. Disconcerting. He thought he’d imagined Hux’s concern at the time—had been certain of it—but this… </p>
<p>He shoved the memory aside with a frustrated growl. That was all irrelevant now.  </p>
<p> Memories skittered through Ren’s fingers. Hux in the cafeteria. Hux going through reports at his desk. Hux showering. He saw himself more than once through Hux’s eyes; felt his intense hatred. Felt the crushing disappointment, the all-consuming resentment when Kylo had declared himself Supreme Leader. He felt his loathing, his distrust, his fear for the future of the First Order…</p>
<p>Hux let out a tremulous breath. Moaned faintly. It wouldn’t be long before he caused permanent damage to Hux’s mind. He couldn’t stop yet, though. He was close. The truth was within reach, he could feel it.</p>
<p>And then… </p>
<p>Kylo frowned, bent closer. They were practically forehead to forehead. Breathing the same air. Hux’s eyes were shut tight, but his eyes ticked frantically beneath his lids. Tears tracked down his face; pain knitted his brow. His breath rasped in his throat. In the memory, Kylo watched as Hux manually shut down security systems, uploaded a set of sickeningly familiar coordinates. He felt Hux’s nerves, his determination. His excitement. Saw his fingers tremble as he entered the name of the contact…</p>
<p>Kylo pulled back sharply, breath hitching, the words he’d watched Hux type circling his head. </p>
<p><i>L. Organa: URGENT.</i> </p>
<p>Betrayal. </p>
<p>Hux was the spy; the traitor; the one who’d already cost Kylo <i>so much.</i></p>
<p>His head spun as he tried to make sense of what he’d seen. He… he hadn’t been prepared for that. It shouldn’t have been such a surprise though. It wasn’t as if they’d ever gotten on, but… but he’d thought Hux staunchly loyal to the First Order, if not to Kylo himself… To send information to the Resistance, though? To sell Kylo out? </p>
<p>There was no relief or satisfaction found from discovering Hux’s treason. Kylo felt hollow. Numb. The knowledge of the betrayal smothered him, thick and heavy, and he could barely breathe under its weight. Hux had not only betrayed the First Order. He had betrayed him, specifically. A familiar rage welled up inside, filling him, strengthening him. </p>
<p>He stepped back, but increased the choking hold around Hux’s neck, watching his eyes bulge; relishing his struggle for breath. He could kill him. He <i>should</i> kill him. But what if there were more? What if Hux was working with someone? </p>
<p>He released the Force hold, letting Hux drop to the floor, a crumpled heap of twitching limbs. </p>
<p>“I’ve found our spy,” he announced, turning his back on Hux’s traitorous form and resisting the urge to kick him. There were a handful of stifled gasps, but despite their obvious shock, the officers remained stoic. Kylo could sense their fear, though, or in one case, glee. Clearly Hux hadn’t been without enemies. Ren turned to the nearest officer. “Take him to a holding cell. I need to interrogate him again once he’s recovered, but then I will personally see to his termination.” He glanced back at Hux. “Perhaps we should broadcast it. Yes, let’s show the galaxy that no one in the First Order is above reproach and that traitors will be dealt with swiftly and without mercy.”</p>
<p>“As you wish, Supreme Leader.” Captain Phasma inclined her head, then instructed two Stormtroopers to lift Hux’s body. </p>
<p>Kylo watched them carry him away, cold fury crackling through him. Hux was going to pay for his betrayal, Kylo would make sure of it.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Art by <a href="https://ellalba.tumblr.com/">Ellalba</a>!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>One. Two. Three. Four.</i>
</p>
<p>Hux paced the bare cell. He could go no more than four strides in any direction before hitting a wall. It hadn’t taken long to figure out the optimal stride length to make it exactly four. Five, and he felt too rushed, three and the strides lacked dignity. </p>
<p>The walls were as monotonous as the passing hours; a smooth, dark grey, just like every other part of the ship. He used to think it looked sleek and efficient but now, after at least two cycles with nothing else to look at, it only made him want to yank his eyeballs out. It was annoyingly well constructed too—he’d spent hours prodding the wall panels, looking for any way to access the door controls or even a hidden shaft, but there was nothing. Nothing except the small hatch through which would slide a sachet of nutrition paste and a small water pouch twice a day. The only way he’d be getting out would be with an armed escort, or perhaps on a gurney after Ren got bored toying with him and ran him through with his lightsaber.</p>
<p>He still wasn’t sure what had happened to land him here. Obviously, Ren had found out what he’d been up to, but any time he tried to probe his memory of the event, tried to decipher exactly how much Ren had found out, nausea crippled him, forcing him to curl into a pathetic ball of misery until the desire to vomit ebbed away. If only he knew what Ren had seen in his mind, he would have a better idea of his chances of getting through this mess in one piece. Everything was hazy, though. He remembered off-putting things like Ren’s intense stare, how soft his skin looked. He remembered feeling like something was crawling around inside his skull, spidery legs picking through his memories. He remembered experiencing pain, so much pain that he’d felt for sure he’d die. </p>
<p>And then nothing. </p>
<p>Nothing, until he’d woken up, lying face down on a hard bench, every inch of his body screaming in agony and racked with shivers. They hadn’t even afforded him the dignity of being locked in his own quarters, just discarded him like a piece of trash in a cold, unfamiliar room. It was both disorienting and humiliating. At least they’d left him clothed and not forced him into a thin pair of prison fatigues. That small mercy had done little to prevent the chill of deep space from sinking into his bones, though. He’d need a long hot soak in his private tub before his body felt remotely warm again. </p>
<p>
  <i>One. Two. Three. Four.</i>
</p>
<p>Once he’d got over the shock of not being dead, it hadn’t taken long to figure out he was in a holding cell—probably one of the ones on deck 27, as they were closest to the hangar where he’d encountered Ren and were normally used for holding prisoners recently offloaded from ships. They weren’t designed for a long stay: no bunk, no window, no facilities at all, barring the drain in the corner which probably doubled-up as both a toilet and somewhere to wash away the remains of forgotten prisoners. There was only the cold, unforgiving bench that he’d woken up on. </p>
<p>He wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not that he’d been left here rather than in one of the cells on the main detention block. On the one hand, perhaps it meant he’d be moved somewhere else soon, which could provide an opportunity to escape, but on the other, perhaps it just meant they were planning to finish him off. At least he hadn’t woken up strapped to one of those contraptions in the interrogation rooms that Ren seemed to like so much. Maybe they were going to leave him here to rot. Gods, he hoped they weren’t going to leave him to rot. The monotony would kill him faster than the lack of sustenance. And what about Millicent? Her basic needs (food, water, and litter tray scooping) were taken care of by a droid, but what about her social needs? Would anyone think to check in on her if Hux was detained indefinitely?</p>
<p><i>One. Two. Three— </i> </p>
<p>A thick cloud of rage and pain and hopelessness suddenly engulfed him, the depth of feeling so strong, so all-encompassing, that it knocked the air from his lungs. He stumbled but managed to steady himself momentarily against the wall before falling to his knees. His hand flexed against the durasteel as he fought to stay upright, the glove straining across his knuckles. And then… nothing. As quickly as they had appeared, the emotions drained away, leaving him wrung out, panting to catch his breath. It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened since waking in the cell, but it wasn’t getting any easier.  Was it a side effect of Ren’s messing with his mind? He was used to keeping strong emotions in check, bottling them up and crushing them down until he could direct the energy and use it to his favour. If Ren’s rampaging through his subconscious had upset this careful balancing act, it was just another reason to destroy him.</p>
<p>He forced his unsteady legs to carry him the two steps to the bench and then collapsed as they gave out. The pain had subsided a little, but his whole body still ached from Ren’s assault and he knew if he were to look in a mirror, he’d find the skin around his neck an angry purplish-red. Even his eyelids hurt. It felt like Ren had jabbed his fingers directly into his skull and swirled them about, a child searching for the tastiest treat at the bottom of the jar. He felt picked apart. Raw and thoroughly violated. He never wanted to experience that… that level of intrusion again. He had a horrible feeling, though, that the only reason he was still alive was because Ren wasn’t finished and at that thought, his stomach recoiled. He rushed to the drain, losing his ongoing battle with his stomach, and retched with the futility of someone who only had bile left to bring up.</p>
<p>Hunched over the evidence of his weak stomach, images began to flicker through his mind. Things he’d thought long repressed, all now kicked to the surface thanks to Ren stomping through his mind with all the delicacy of a bantha. Humiliation at the knowledge of the things Ren had seen fanned the flames of his anger and he smacked the wall again and again and <i>again,</i> until the pain burning in his palm eclipsed everything else and gave him something to focus on.</p>
<p>His rage simmered on. Under everything—the pain, the humiliation, the fear—it was the one constant. He clung to it, let it give him focus, stoked it with memories of everything Ren had done to him. He would get out of here or die trying. And if Ren ever came near his mind again, Hux vowed to make him regret it. He’d have him on his knees, supplicant. He’d show him exactly what happened to people who thought they could outmanoeuvre Armitage Hux. And then he’d eject him from the airlock.</p>
<p>Tentatively, Hux straightened up. His hair hung in greasy clumps, clinging limply to his forehead and falling into his eyes. He pushed it off his face but it wasn’t quite long enough to tuck behind his ears. He tried anyway, raking his fingers through it to try and return it to some sort of order, then he attempted to smooth out the wrinkles in his uniform, tugging at the hem, tightening his belt. The familiar actions helped to calm him and went some way to help take his mind off his stomach. He couldn’t do much without a shower, or even a washbasin, but he felt a little less wretched. </p>
<p>As he used the thin blanket to shine the scuff marks out of his boots, a faint sound caught his attention. A faint whirring click. He frowned, initially unable to place the sound, but then he realised— </p>
<p>It was the door lock disengaging. </p>
<p>He stared, fear paralysing him. Had Ren come back already? </p>
<p>It was mere seconds before the door slowly slid open, but time felt like it had stretched on for hours. His stomach churned at the prospect of having Ren in his mind again. He refused to show how afraid he was, but unfortunately, no one had told his body. His knees trembled, a cold sweat broke out on his forehead and he seriously thought he might faint for a split-second. He stood as rigidly as he was able, determined to stare him down, to deny Ren the satisfaction of seeing him plead or beg, as he choked the life out of him.</p>
<p>“Come back to— <i>Phasma?”</i> Hux wilted when he saw his captain step through the doorway, her chrome armour gleaming in the sterile lighting, brightening the gloomy cell.</p>
<p>Hux couldn’t help leaning slightly to peer behind her. What was she doing here? Had she been sent to bring him to Ren…? His gorge rose at the thought of her working for <i>him.</i> </p>
<p>“Settle down, I came alone. We don’t have much time.” She turned and closed the door behind her. She easily matched him inch for inch height-wise when in her civvies, but with the armour, she gained an extra couple of inches on him, and was twice as broad. She filled the tiny cell. Hux swallowed down the sudden feeling of claustrophobia.</p>
<p>“What do you mean? Ren has you doing his dirty work for him now?” he spat, unintentionally letting hurt colour his tone. This was why he didn’t form attachments. Friends would always let you down in the end.</p>
<p>“In the interests of your continued existence, I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” She reached beneath her cloak and pulled out a blaster pistol from a holster at her side. </p>
<p>Hux took a step back. So this was how it ended? Shot in the chest at point blank range by someone he (mostly) trusted? “What—?”</p>
<p>Phasma flipped the blaster in her hand and held it out, grip toward Hux. When he did nothing but stare, she huffed out an exasperated breath. “Take it, then,” she urged, jiggling the blaster at him.</p>
<p>He reached out gingerly and snatched the blaster from her hand, immediately relaxing as his fingers curled around the grip. He held it steady, aimed the barrel at the join in the armour plating at her groin.</p>
<p>“Ren plans to execute you for treason.” She spoke plainly, with little inflection, as if she hadn’t just armed a desperate man and informed him of his impending death. </p>
<p>News of his planned execution was unsurprising, but hearing it spoken so definitively caused a flutter of panic. “I’d rather gathered he didn’t plan on patting me on the back. What I don’t understand is why you’re here.” </p>
<p>“I’m your knight in shining armour and I’m here to give you a fighting chance.” She paused and he imagined the wry smile on her lips. “Get out of here and take turbolift C8 to the starboard hangar. There’s an old Xi-class shuttle craft there. Take it and fly as far away from here as you can before lying low. I’ve neutralised the guards at the guard station at the end of this corridor, but you’re on your own beyond that.” </p>
<p>“I… Okay?” He looked down at the blaster in his hand and saw the general’s stripes around his sleeve. Was he really going to flee like a scolded puppy? “Why are you helping me?” He knew her well enough to know that her loyalty to him only extended as far as his use to her. Right now, he couldn’t fathom her angle. Why put herself at such risk? What did she want? Was this a trap?</p>
<p>“Ren is out of control and needs to be muzzled before he destroys the Order,” she said as if reading the questions on his face. “You’re the only one I deem capable of getting that done. We just need to keep you alive long enough to do it. You need to leave now. You know how busy it gets once Alpha shift clock on.”</p>
<p>It still made little sense. There must be a bigger plan he wasn’t privy to, or this was just madness. Surely he’d be marked as a coward and a traitor the second he fled the Finalizer. At least if he stayed he had the chance of dying a martyr. People could rally around his corpse and chant his name as they staged a coup. Hopefully one of them would be kind enough to look in on Mill—</p>
<p>“Millicent! She must be terrified. I can’t—”</p>
<p>“Oh, I almost forgot.” Phasma reached under her cloak again and lifted a holdall off her shoulder—how had he not noticed it? The bag let out an irritated mrrrooaw and Hux’s heart near skipped a beat. She’d brought him Millicent? Perhaps they were friends after all. That was a strange thought.</p>
<p>He took the bag from her but resisted the urge to unhook the clasps. The last thing he needed was to have to chase his pissed off cat through the corridors. Millicent’s warm, squirming weight at his side after so long by himself was very welcome though. “Thank you,” he said, honestly meaning it for once.</p>
<p>“You really need to leave now, Hux.” Her voice sounded almost soft; so unlike her.</p>
<p>He shouldered the bag and checked the safety on the blaster. “Come with me,” he said before thinking it through. </p>
<p>Phasma paused in the doorway. Shook her head. “I have things to take care of here. You aren’t alone in wanting change. Contact me when you’re ready to take him down, and we’ll be there. Good luck.”</p>
<p> He faltered. Stared blankly at the blaster in his hands, suddenly overwhelmed. How much had he been in the dark about on his own ship? How long had these rumblings of insubordination been going on? </p>
<p>“What—” He looked up, intending to ask for more details about what exactly she was planning and who on his ship—his ex-ship—was involved. But she was already at the end of the corridor.</p>
<p>His heart raced, skin electric. Was he really about to do this? There was no guarantee he would survive an escape attempt if he even made it as far as the shuttle. And then had to try and fly the thing. He wasn’t a bad pilot, but most of his knowledge was purely theoretical. And where was he supposed to go if, by some chance, he was able to get away from the Finalizer without getting shot down? He had no one to turn to. No safe house to lay low in. </p>
<p>If he remained in the cell, though, his hope for survival was dependent on Ren’s mercy, and that was nothing he wanted to bank on. It wasn’t much of an incentive to stay.</p>
<p>The faintest beginnings of hope unfurled in his chest as his mind worked furiously to extrapolate the potential outcomes of every imaginable scenario. There was a chance—even if just a small one—that he could get away… That he could actually survive this, raise an army and return to reclaim what was his. He could do this. </p>
<p>Could he really leave, though? It would mean abandoning the First Order to Ren. Everything he’d worked his whole life for, given up to the man who seemed set on destroying it. Could he really be about to throw that all away without a fight? Just roll over and let Ren have whatever he wanted? He only had Phasma’s word that Ren wanted him dead after all. Perhaps this was part of a plan to get rid of him—maybe she didn’t care whether he escaped or not, she just wanted him out of the picture…</p>
<p>Millicent growled her displeasure, reminding him he was still standing in the doorway of his cell. He shushed her with a few soothing noises.</p>
<p>Millicent. Phasma had brought him his cat. Would she have done that if she’d been planning to lead him into a trap? Fetching her from his quarters would have been an unnecessary complication if she planned for him to die. The bag on his shoulder mewed softly, as if in agreement. It made up his mind. He’d leave, but he would come back. Even if it took him years, he would return to reclaim the Order, and see Ren suffer the fate he deserved.  </p>
<p>Hux straightened his uniform as best he could and with a deep breath, stepped into the corridor. He paused for a few beats, listening for the thunder of heavy footsteps, for the crackle of someone calling for backup, but there was only silence. It all at once felt too easy and like the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. There would be no undoing this. If he fled, he’d be admitting guilt; he’d be setting off a course of events that had only the slimmest possible chance of going his way.</p>
<p>Closing his eyes in a brief prayer to gods he didn’t believe in, Hux strode down the corridor as if he had every right to be there and headed towards whatever shit was going to happen next.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Kylo let his mind drift through the ship, brushing against a few minds here and there: a couple of officers whispering furtively in a shadowy corner; Stormtroopers patrolling, backs rigid, hands on their blasters; Peavey snapping at some subordinates. News of Hux’s treachery had travelled rapidly through the Order and there had been a heavy tension hanging over the Finalizer since his detention. It magnified Kylo’s own turmoil, set his teeth on edge, made his head pound.</p>
<p>He couldn’t sit still. Couldn’t sleep. It had been three cycles and he could still feel Hux. His thoughts, his memories tangled with Kylo’s own. The betrayal hurt; there was no other word for it. And he hated that. He hated that Hux could make him feel like this. He was nothing. They were nothing to each other. Hux had hated him for years; had tried to get in his way, had always tried to one-up him. It shouldn’t have been such a surprise to learn that Hux actually wanted him dead. Stars, he’d contemplated the man’s death himself enough times but… But to hand over data to <i>them,</i> to the Resistance, in the hope that <i>they</i> would be the ones to finish Kylo off? It would have hurt less if Hux had been in front of him, stabbing the knife in himself.</p>
<p>Why had he done it? Why betray the First Order to Resistance? Kylo wasn’t an idiot; he knew Hux wanted his title, but he’d assumed—foolishly, he now realised—that Hux’s loyalty to the First Order would keep him in line. It was one of the main reasons he’d kept him so close despite not trusting him. He had to find out what other secrets Hux had divulged. How involved was he with them? How often had he spoken to them? <i>Leia.</i> Of all the people, why <i>her?</i> He punched the bulkhead. And again. The pain was good, deserved. The thought of Hux and Leia discussing him, making their plans to bring down the Order, to humiliate Kylo, filled him with a cold fury. </p>
<p>He growled and lashed out at the bed. The glow from his lightsaber glinted off the stuffing that flew from his mattress as he struck it again and again and again. Fuck Hux. He should have cut his head off. He should have ejected him into space. Kylo had almost been killed, and for why? Because Hux didn’t like the way he ran the First Order? Because Hux wanted to be Supreme Leader instead? He’d known that for a long time—Hux had hardly been subtle in his ambitions, but why involve the Resistance at all? Why make it so <i>personal?</i></p>
<p>The room filled with the crackle and flash of his lightsaber, everything red and black. He slashed and hacked until the smoke burned his eyes; until his meagre possessions lay in tatters around his feet; until his throat was raw, his chest heaving. It didn’t feel any better. His mind still raged. </p>
<p>Hux would pay for his treachery. Kylo would make every breath agony; would keep him alive as he broke every bone in his body; he would relish every scream he dragged out of him, his green eyes dimming as the life eventually flickered out of them. How long would he fight? How long would it take Kylo to break him? He looked forward to finding out. </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Kylo didn’t see another person as he strode through the dim-lit corridors. It was the off-shift, a simulated nighttime to help those weak enough to be slaves to their circadian rhythm. He had no idea how long he’d spent in meditation in his wreck of a room, the glowpanels flickering, the air thick with smoke, as he searched for clarity. There were too many threads twisting around each other, too many possibilities, too many potential scenarios. It felt like everything surrounding Hux was shrouded with uncertainty, the Force was being frustratingly vague and keeping any answers he sought just out of reach. He could determine nothing of the future, no clear route to any sort of outcome. He’d detected hints of shapes and emotions through the fog, but there was nothing he could make any sense of. He needed guidance now more than ever. He needed the reassurance; another’s opinion to ease the burden on his mind. He had no one. No one to tell him he was making the right decisions, no one to blame if he made the wrong one; no one to stop him making a mistake. <i>Was</i> he making a mistake? What was so important about Hux?</p>
<p>He’d spent so long with a master and with the confidence borne from knowing the Force would help him get what he needed, that he felt rudderless without either. The uncertainty had been there for a while, in the background, bubbling away. He’d thought getting rid of Snoke would help, would bring him the clarity he needed. That being in charge of himself, with the might of the First Order behind him enabling him to spread his rule through the galaxy, able to kill any who stood before him would soothe his inner demons and coax greater power from the Force in a way killing Han hadn’t. </p>
<p>Snoke’s death, while liberating, had brought its own problems. And now Hux’s betrayal had demonstrated how precarious his position was. He thought himself powerful, protected, feared enough to discourage that sort of back-stabbing or dissent. What if there were more, though? He longed for a vision, for the Force to guide him, to provide even a hint of what he should do, but nothing made any sense.  </p>
<p>Self-doubt persisted no matter how many times he thought himself done with deliberation. It insinuated itself in his mind, similar to the way the Light tried to seduce him, to entice him, to guide his hand. He closed his eyes briefly to centre himself. A flash of red hair falling over fearful green eyes. Starkiller. Would he ever be allowed to forget that? Maybe that was the sign he was searching for. Maybe the memory of Hux’s compassion in that moment, evidence of a humanity that marked him as weak-minded and as sentimental as so many others, was the Force showing him the rotten core of the First Order that needed cutting out. Maybe everything would become clear once he found out exactly what information Hux had sent to the Resistance. </p>
<p>The sense of wrongness increased as Kylo approached the holding cells and found the security foyer empty. He’d never paid much attention to shift rotations and crew assignments, but he knew there should have been at least one guard on duty.  </p>
<p>He peered down the corridor that bisected the block. A row of doors stretched down either side, disappearing into the shadows. It was unlit but for pinpricks of light on the access panels, and the panel above each door that glowed green or red depending on whether the cell was occupied. As he stepped forward to investigate more closely, his foot skidded out from under him and he narrowly avoided losing his balance. The cause was a puddle of something spreading out from behind the abandoned guard station. It gleamed dully against the dark floor, barely discernible in the low lighting, but obvious once seen. It took only a moment for his brain to register the two forms slumped behind the console against the bulkhead, matching wounds in their chests. A single blaster shot to the heart. </p>
<p>Kylo crouched down and pressed gloved fingers against the wound of the closest guard. The blood was still warm and only just going tacky. It had to have been Hux’s doing. But how? How had he gotten out? He let out a growl as he stood, whipping around and slamming his fist into the console.</p>
<p>He didn’t need to check the security feeds or reach out with the Force to know that whichever cell had been occupied by Hux would now be empty, but, wiping his glove on his tunic, Kylo marched down the corridor to look anyway. If there was even the slightest possibility that Hux was still there… but no, of course he wasn’t. The door opened and, as expected, the cell was empty. Nothing but the faint odour of vomit and sweat—the only hint that there had been someone here recently. </p>
<p>Kylo roared and smacked his fist into the wall, the feeling of his skin splitting open inside his gloves providing very little relief. He sunk to his knees, hair falling around his face. He was so tired. He— </p>
<p>He froze as a stray emotion flitted across his consciousness. Was it relief? Elation? It wasn’t from him, he knew that much. He closed his eyes and focused on the foreign feeling, chasing it down even as it faded. Whoever it was, they were near. The mind it came from was a mess of conflicting emotions—the... relief, it was definitely relief, was currently strongest, but there was a deep well of fear and anger and helplessness and a fierce determination he recognised from… Hux. Kriff! It was Hux and he was still close by. Kylo pushed up from the ground and swept out of the holding cell. He was ending this nonsense now.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Hux’s hand trembled as he clutched the blaster and peered into the hangar. The only light came from the magnetic shield, glowing blue at the hangar mouth, and the faint orbs of light where a few technicians and droids still worked to clean up and repair Ren’s latest scene of destruction. He felt the familiar irritation well up inside but forced himself to ignore it. It wasn’t his problem any more. Not for now, at least.</p>
<p>He took a steadying breath and willed himself to calm down. To focus. It felt like his heart hadn’t stopped racing since he’d left the cell. The frantic rhythm was beginning to make him a little light-headed and he knew the adrenaline wouldn’t sustain him for much longer. It wasn’t that the escape so far had been particularly fraught. He’d only encountered a handful of people, all of whom reacted with usual deference towards him, if a little confused at his presence. They all went down before they’d time to even think of drawing a gun on him, so presented no problem. But it was the anticipation of trouble that had him breaking out in a cold sweat, limbs trembling. He’d expected more resistance to his escape and the ease at which he’d made it to the hangar was disconcerting, to say the least. He wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed at the lack of security on his ship or relieved that he hadn’t had to face more obstacles. </p>
<p>It wasn’t hard to spot the Xi-class shuttle in the end—it was one of the few ships currently in the hangar. It was docked in the far corner, close to the hangar mouth, a pile of crates and other junk that must have recently been offloaded stacked by its entry ramp. From his current position, Hux couldn’t tell if it was flight-worthy but there wasn’t much he could do about that now. It was his only option, and surely Phasma wouldn’t have told him to take it if it was critically damaged in any way. (Unless she didn’t know or was deliberately trying to sabotage you, his inner voice supplied.) He didn’t doubt he could get it to take off, given enough time—he’d excelled at the basic ship maintenance modules at the academy—but he didn’t <i>have</i> time. He needed to get away from the Finalizer and out of range of its weapons as quickly as possible. </p>
<p>From where he stood, the distance to the shuttle looked impossibly large. He’d be exposed to anyone happening to watch from the gantry and all it would take was one person with a blaster and he’d be downed. He raked his fingers through his hair and smoothed down his uniform. He was certain news about his… situation would have made the rounds by now. Several times over, likely. But no one had given him any problems so far so he had to assume details weren’t known, and that there was a hangover of respect that people hadn’t been able to shake. He shouldn’t count on that, though. The trick would be to look like he meant to be there, to act like General Hux stalking across the hangar with a mewling holdall and crumpled clothes was nothing out of the ordinary. Walk calmly, but with purpose. </p>
<p>With one last check of the blaster—safety off, set to kill—he strode out across the hangar floor, shoulders back, head high. His footsteps clacked satisfyingly on the floor, the sound bolstering his confidence, and he lengthened his stride. The shuttle was only a short distance ahead. It was so much bigger up close—would he even be able to fly it without a copilot? The escape attempt would be over before it truly started if he couldn’t even get the kriffing thing airborne. He dismissed the thought; not helpful. He was going to make it. He could do this. He— </p>
<p>“You’ll never make it.” </p>
<p>
  <i>Ren.</i>
</p>
<p>The voice seemed to come from all directions at once, sounding simultaneously as if it were being shouted from a distance and whispered into his ear.</p>
<p> Hux’s stomach lurched and he stumbled to a halt. He’d known his escape had been too easy; had been waiting for this moment. It was a fitting blow that it would be Ren stopping him in the end. Frustration, exhaustion, hunger—it all conspired to bring tears to his eyes. He’d been so close to getting away. He tightened his hold on the blaster and went to take a step forwards, determined to ignore Ren and pretend nothing was amiss, but he couldn’t move. It was as if a giant fist had wrapped itself around his body, pinning his limbs to his side. In the holdall, he could feel Millicent squirming and he was struck with a sudden, suffocating fear—not for himself, but for her. Would Ren kill her too? Was he above begging for her life?</p>
<p>“I don’t know how you managed it,” Ren continued, his voice curling around Hux like smoke, “but I’m going to find every person who helped you, every person who has ever taken your side, and I’m going to kill them all.”</p>
<p>“Let me go, Ren,” Hux spat. He struggled against the hold but it was futile. He knew he wouldn’t be going anywhere unless Ren allowed it. He was completely at that madman’s mercy and he hated it.</p>
<p>“I don’t think so. I’m not letting you out of my sight until I’ve ripped every one of your secrets from your mind. You won’t even remember your own name by the time I’ve finished.” Ren was closer now. Hux pictured him prowling through the hangar, stalking ever closer, and the image sent a shiver down his spine; imagining Ren coming up behind him, large hand tight around his neck, restrained against his broad chest.</p>
<p>“Why do you even care? You’ve got what you want. I’m no threat to you now.”</p>
<p>Ren laughed, the sound dry and humourless. “We both know that’s a lie. You’re like a spider-roach. You’ll keep coming back unless I see you dead by my own hand.”</p>
<p>Hux hated the smug confidence in his voice. The menace. He refused to show any weakness. He wasn’t going to make this easy for Ren. “At least look me in the eye while you finish me off,” he ground out. Every word hurt, made the band around his chest tighten. “Or are you too much of a coward?”</p>
<p>Hux’s jaw clicked shut as his body was spun around. He was flung backwards until he hit something solid and unforgiving, head cracking against durasteel with a dull clang that rattled even his eyes. He looked up, dazed. Ren was standing on the gantry, hands gripping the railing. Behind him, Hux could make out the hulking shadows of at least two of Ren’s Knights. He winced as something warm trickled down his face and he absently swiped at it with his sleeve. Blood. Maybe he’d bleed out on the floor of the hanger. That would be disappointingly mundane. </p>
<p>It was then that he realised he could move—Ren was no longer holding him. The holdall with Millicent inside was miraculously still over his shoulder. He hated to think what sort of mood she’d be in when he finally opened it, but she was moving and miaowing so at least he knew she was still alive. He’d dropped the blaster, but it was near enough that he thought he could reach it without drawing too much attention to himself. He glanced up and saw Ren walking down the stairs from the gantry, cloak sweeping out behind him, two Knights just a short distance behind. No one else in the hangar was moving. Even the droids had stilled. Hux pushed himself more upright, wincing as every muscle protested. His head felt about five sizes too big, but he didn’t think anything was broken. He used the movement to grab the blaster, letting out a relieved breath when it was back in his hand, the comforting weight giving him a boost of confidence. There was still a chance…</p>
<p>“Too scared to kill me by yourself?” Hux shouted, spitting blood onto the floor as he eyed the Knights over Ren’s shoulder. “Worried you’re not strong enough on your own?”</p>
<p>“Enough!” Ren slashed his hand through the air and a stack of crates was shunted to the side. The crates crashed into a stack of spare TIE parts, and the contents clattered across the floor. </p>
<p>Hux used the brief distraction to get onto his feet. The shuttle was right behind him, if he could create another distraction, it might be enough… He glanced at the crates beside Ren and grinned as a plan slotted together in his mind. One more chance. He raised the blaster, training the muzzle on Ren. </p>
<p>Ren laughed again. “You think a blaster can stop me?” He stalked closer. “I’m going to enjoy watching you beg for your life.”</p>
<p>“Sorry to disappoint you, but that’s not going to happen.” Hux twitched the blaster a few degrees over, aiming to the left of Ren, then fired off several shots in quick succession. He saw the confusion flash across Ren’s face as the bolts clearly went wide, followed by amusement, and then sudden realisation as the bolts all hit their mark—a crate which by Hux’s calculation contained powercells. He didn’t stop and wait to see what happened next. He turned and threw himself up the ramp of the shuttle, disappearing into its belly just as an explosion ripped through the hangar. Hux felt the force of it buffeting the side of the shuttle as he scrambled through the ship into the cockpit.</p>
<p>The compact shuttle powered up as he hurriedly flicked switches, moving by rote, a process that had been drilled into him at the academy. He muttered a quick prayer to gods paying attention and pulled on the throttle.</p>
<p>But nothing happened. The shuttle remained static, engine humming in mockery. </p>
<p>Hux swore and tried all the switches again, toggling them off and on with increasingly frantic movements. His heart thundered in his chest, panic making him lightheaded. He willed himself to calm but then a loud crash sounded from outside the shuttle. Part of the hangar falling down? Ren throwing things around? He closed his eyes and forced himself to take a deep breath before methodically running through the start up process again, flicking switches with intentional care, ignoring the trembling in his hands. </p>
<p>Hux gripped the throttle, knuckles white. He pushed it forwards again and… </p>
<p>Nothing. Again.</p>
<p>Panic wrapped clammy fingers around his throat. The unmistakable sound of blaster fire echoed through the hangar underlining the urgency of his situation. He could see nothing through the smoke and fire, had no idea how many were there. He reached across the console to engage the shuttle’s deflector shields—it should buy him a little time—and then he saw it. The innocent button, flashing yellow, reminding the pilot to secure the landing gear. <i>Kriff.</i> Such a basic error. He pressed it and the tone of the engine shifted. More blaster fire screeched past, a tremor passing through the hull as a couple hit their mark. </p>
<p>Hux gripped the throttle for a third time, knowing it would work now, and pulled. The thrusters roared and he hared out of the hangar without another glance back.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Kylo sucked in a breath, sparking a coughing fit that racked through his body. The air was too hot, too thick, suffocating, and he knew he should get up but something heavy lay across the top of his thighs, pinning him in place. Muffled blaster fire and shouts seemed to come from all directions at once. A ship’s engine spluttered to life and he turned his head toward the sound, eyes stinging as he peered through the smoke. An old Xi-class tore out of the hangar, smoke swirling into angry eddies in its wake. He hadn’t even been aware of Hux’s energy until he felt it grow faint with distance and he groaned, knowing he’d just watched his escape. He should have choked the life out of him when he had the chance. Why had he let him live?</p>
<p>Kylo closed his eyes. People would be here soon, fussing. He could already feel them, their anxiety, their fear. He knew he should do something but the draw of unconsciousness was too strong. His mind started to come untethered, drifting. He was tired, so tired. </p>
<p>As darkness crept over him, he heard heavy boot fall, felt the pressure ease on his legs, and he let go of the last strands of consciousness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the Finalizer slipped out of range of the shuttle’s scanners, Hux slumped, a wave of exhaustion eroding the last of his energy.  </p><p>He had disabled the shuttle’s tracker at the first opportunity, but even having done that, he’d barely paused for breath since bursting out of the hangar, constantly checking for signs of pursuit, expecting at any minute that a squadron of TIE fighters would appear, laser cannons flaring. The shuttle had rattled and shaken around him, but he hadn’t dared let up on the thrusters for even a moment.</p><p>There had been nothing, though. Not a hint of pursuit. Was it Phasma’s doing? Had she somehow prevented them from chasing him?</p><p> Or… had that explosion achieved exactly what he’d been trying to do with all the information he’d fed the Resistance? It was almost too much to hope that Ren was finally dead and he briefly considered slicing into the Order network just to check, if only he had the tools or the time.</p><p>A low feline growling from somewhere around his feet reminded him that at least he wasn’t alone in this. A smile broke out on his face.</p><p>“Millie, girl. I’m so sorry. Here.” He pulled the holdall onto his lap and unlatched the clasps. Millicent was curled into a fuzzy ginger ball at the base of the bag. Her orange eyes spoke volumes and he hesitated, momentarily wary, before reaching inside to scratch behind her ear. He still had the scar on his hand to remind him how she’d expressed her displeasure the one time he’d made use of his shore leave allowance and gone away for a few days.</p><p>She resisted nuzzling into his hand for all of a couple of seconds, glaring at him, eyes the colour of fire, and he worried she might not forgive him the indignity of being shoved in a bag and tossed about, but when he felt the first rumblings of her purr, he knew he was safe. </p><p>He gently lifted her from the holdall and hugged her to his chest, pressing his face into her soft fur. </p><p>“Sorry, my sweet. I’ve made a bit of a mess of things, but we’ll be back soon enough. We just have to figure out a way to get rid of Ren with no troops, no resources, and limited inside help.”  </p><p>He hated not having every detail worked out. He needed a plan. Flying aimlessly through the Outer Rim until he ran out of fuel might work in the short term, but it wasn’t going to vastly improve his chances for survival in the long run—especially not with half the galaxy after his head. He had been focused on getting away. Away from the Finalizer; away from locations he knew the First Order fleet could be; away from anywhere he thought they might look for him, but he hadn’t yet figured out where <i>away</i> was.</p><p> He cycled through his options on the shuttle’s navicomputer, one hand on the controls, the other absently scratching through Millicent’s thick ginger coat. He’d not wanted to risk wasting fuel on a hyperspace jump until he at least had a vague heading, somewhere he could refuel and resupply, perhaps lay low for a bit, that wouldn’t be crawling with rebel sympathisers or bounty hunters, or First Order spies.</p><p>Various instrument lights blinked in time with the throbbing of his head, and exhaustion dragged at his eyelids. He had to figure something out soon. He needed rest. Food. Bacta patches for the scrapes he’d acquired. And some pain relief would be good too; he could feel his headache pulsing in his fingertips.  </p><p>Kriff. What had he done? </p><p>Hux sat for a while longer with Millicent purring on his lap, taking comfort from the familiarity of her warm weight on his legs, but when he could no longer bear the growling of his stomach, he had to dislodge her so he could search the shuttle for supplies. </p><p>It didn’t take long to search the shuttle. There were a couple of bunks, a refresher, a seating area, a small cargo hold and little else. He found a medikit—intact—and a handful of ration bars along with several sachets of nutrient paste. It was almost enough to banish his appetite completely, but no better or worse than he’d expected. </p><p>Feeling a little more energised after eating a ration bar and chugging a bottle of water, Hux flew for a few more hours, pushing the shuttle’s engines to the limit and ignoring the call of the bunk a few metres away. He couldn’t bring himself to relax, not when he could still feel the phantom touch of Ren’s Force hold around his chest, the caress of ghostly fingers around his throat. His mind whirred, turning his options over and over, working through the pros and cons of each alternative. He needed somewhere to lay low for a while; that was a given. And he needed allies. Not necessarily people he could trust, but people who shared the same short term goal as he did or who at least  could be manipulated into supporting any action he took. He kept coming to the same conclusion, and he kept dismissing that same conclusion, but the longer he thought about it, the more it made sense. </p><p>He needed an army, however small, who’d be willing to take Kylo Ren on. People he already had an in with, and who stood a chance against the might of the First Order. He needed… He needed the Resistance.</p><p>It wouldn’t be difficult to send a message to his contact; he’d memorised the code to avoid writing it down, but would they take him in? Accepting information from an anonymous First Order source was one thing, but allowing an ex-First Order general into their base? Especially once they learnt exactly who he was? He was under no illusions that they would hold any kind of sympathy for him. It would be an incredibly risky move, throwing himself at their mercy, but the pay off would be high if it worked out. They had a fleet, they had soldiers, and they were already dead set on taking down the First Order. All he had to do was feed them just enough information to keep them on side—just enough information to lead them to Ren. By that point he would have hopefully earned enough trust to enable him to take a ship and seize command of what was left of the Order before they could do any irreparable damage. He was confident the First Order could swallow a degree of loss in the interests of change. Besides, once he was back in control, he’d quickly restore them to glory.</p><p>And given that the best alternative he could come up with was wasting away in some backwater cantina, drunkenly reminiscing about the good old days of galaxy-wide domination attempts to anyone who would listen, he didn’t have much choice.</p><p>It wasn’t easy composing a message that conveyed his sincerity while revealing as little as possible, especially while so tired that his eyes burned, but he managed. Now all he had to do was await a reply and hopefully some coordinates. He exhaled and slouched back in the chair, staring blankly at the stars through the viewport until Millicent hopped onto his lap with a <i>meep.</i></p><p>“What have I done, girl?” he murmured, smoothing his hand along her body from head to tail. “It’s all Kylo Ren’s fault. You’ll remember that, won’t you? When I’m imprisoned and you have to live out the rest of your days on the lam. Remember that I had no choice. Ren has driven me to the edge of sanity.” He sighed as she head-butted him in the chin. Fine ginger hair caught on his sleeve, sticking to his stripes of rank. For the first time, he didn’t brush it off. </p><p>* * *</p><p>“Supreme Leader.”</p><p>Kylo exhaled and turned away from the viewport. He’d only left his quarters because he couldn’t listen to the incessant ping of his comm any more; could no longer bear being enclosed by the same four walls, surrounded by the still smoldering evidence of his recent rage. There was no peace to be had anywhere on the ship, though. He longed to be in the training rooms, sweating out his frustrations, but since the business with Hux, he had not found the time. No one would leave him alone. Everyone wanted something; everyone had an opinion. And their minds were so noisy, all clamouring for favour or plotting someone’s demise or thinking about Hux Hux Hux. He wanted to shut it all out, but he couldn’t because what if they were hiding something important? What if the ones who helped Hux escape were still around?    </p><p>The officer standing in front of him wasn’t anyone he recognised. They all looked the same in their uniforms anyway, the charcoal grey washing away any individuality. General Hux was the only one who’d ever stood out with his red hair and imperious sneer. “What is it?”</p><p>“It’s the hangar, sir. The starboard one. We need materials in order to finish the repair—”</p><p>“Then get the materials. Why is this my issue? The hangar needs to be fixed, so fix it.” </p><p>The officer appeared to shrink in on himself, like he was trying to hide himself from view. “Yes, Supreme Leader, only… you need to sign off on the requisitions form so finance will amend the budget and release the funds which the requisitions team can then use to acquire the necessary—”</p><p>“Why is it so complicated? If something needs doing, it should be done.”</p><p>“Yes, sir, but General Hux would—”</p><p>Kylo’s arm shot out and he had the officer yanked up onto his toes, strangling him with the Force before he had consciously decided to react. Hux. Again. Every annoying thing in his life currently came down to that man. Even in his absence—especially in his absence—he was a plague on Kylo’s thoughts. </p><p>Kylo had woken up in the medbay two cycles previously with a headache that rivalled any pain he’d ever experienced. He could barely think over the turbulence raging through the Force. Everyone’s minds reeling from Hux’s disappearance. Emotions ranging from elation to fear to confusion hitting him from all directions at once. </p><p>No one seemed sure what happened, only that Hux was no longer there. Whispers and rumour ran rampant through the crew: ‘General Hux tried to blow up the ship’, ‘the Supreme Leader ejected General Hux out of the airlock’, ‘General Hux has joined the Resistance’, and Kylo’s current favourite, ‘General Hux was having a long distance affair with General Organa and now they’ve both defected and run away to a distant planet in the Unknown Regions to be together’. People would stop talking whenever Kylo was nearby, but their thoughts gave them away, and currently Hux’s absence was on everyone’s minds.</p><p>Much to Kylo’s annoyance, no one had scrambled fighters to chase the fleeing Xi-class, too busy with the fire in the hangar or fighting amongst themselves to fill the temporary power vacuum, so Hux had been long gone by the time Kylo regained consciousness. Even so, he’d dispatched his Knights to see if they could pick up any leads, but he didn’t hold out much hope. Hux wasn’t foolish. He’d stay hidden until he knew he had the advantage.</p><p>He’d tried locating him with the Force, but after the effort of his first attempt had sent his head spinning and made him vomit all over himself, he hadn’t tried again. There was something strange going on there, but he pushed it to the back of his mind until he had time to think on it further.</p><p>The officer in front of him gurgled, bringing Kylo back to the moment, and he released the hold on his neck with a snarl of disgust. The rest of the bridge crew startled back to work, keeping a careful distance from Kylo and the officer gasping at his feet. </p><p>“Send me the forms I need to authorise,” Kylo snapped. He was unsure of the protocol, but he wasn’t going to admit that. The officer pulled himself to his feet and made an attempt to straighten his uniform, his face an unhealthy colour.</p><p>“I… I believe they were already sent—” He winced as Kylo turned to face him. “—But, of course. I’ll get them sent over again, sir.”</p><p>Kylo left the officer quaking where he stood and swept off the bridge. He was done with people today. He’d never had to deal with the administrative side of things before. How was he supposed to know about this? Was this what Hux spent his time doing? He probably enjoyed it, the anally retentive prick. Although, now he considered it, with all the damage Kylo had caused to the Finalizer over the years, Hux’s chilly attitude towards him made a little more sense. </p><p>As he stepped into the main corridor a wave of dizziness swept over him reminding him he’d not eaten properly since… since before the mess with Hux, probably longer. He wasn’t even sure anymore. He paused, just for a second to wait for the floor to stop swaying beneath him, and as he did, he heard the buzz of conversation starting up in the bridge, a palpable wave of relief flowing from them. He scowled, loneliness prickling beneath his skin. He didn’t need or want attachments, but sometimes… sometimes it would be nice to have someone to talk to. Someone he could trust.  </p><p>* * *</p><p>Hux waited.</p><p>He hated waiting. Hated inaction. Hated the lack of control he had over his situation. Hated that his plan relied on other people. Yes, he could try and go it alone, but where would that leave him? He needed an army, or failing that, a tenacious group of fighters who could be utilised to help him reach his goal. And the Resistance were his best option. His only option, really. <i>If</i> they answered their kriffing comms. </p><p>He took another look around the shuttle, had a quick wash, tended to his injuries as best he could with limited medical supplies, and waited. But still there was no response. He kept the shuttle on its same course, keeping away from busy sectors, places he knew would more likely be trouble, and he waited. He had no idea where his contact was in relation to his current location, and so judging how long it might take to receive the message was impossible, but he’d hoped to hear back reasonably promptly. Didn’t they want inside information on the First Order? </p><p>The <i>low fuel</i> warning light started flashing after a couple more hours, accompanied by a soft but persistent pinging. He slumped into the pilot’s chair, rubbing small circles into his temples to try—the throbbing behind his eyes had not let up at all, but now it intensified. He’d been watching the fuel level dip lower and lower, but he’d hoped to squeeze a little more out of the engine and put more distance between himself and the First Order fleet before having to refuel. He was, at least out of Order controlled space, so maybe they won’t have heard about his escape. There wasn’t much he could do about it anyway, not unless he wanted to spend the remainder of his life drifting through space, so he pulled up a chart of the local sector and set about finding somewhere suitable. He’d been lucky so far—hopefully his luck would hold a little longer.</p><p>*</p><p>The nearest spaceport was on one of those hot, barren planets with little going for it except an abundance of sand and rock. It reminded him, unfortunately, of Jakku, and he grimaced at the thought of all the sand that would make it into unfortunate places and the uncontrollable sweating. He hated sweating. </p><p>He found an empty bay away from the main bustle of the port—it was busier than he would have liked, but it wasn’t like he had much choice. With any luck, no one would recognise the Xi-class as being First Order fleet. He’d have to find a different shuttle if he was to spend much more time in space—the Xi-class was a little like flying with a target on his back. </p><p>It may have been a while since he’d been planet-side, but he didn’t need to check the external temperature to know he was going to burn within minutes of stepping outside. He reluctantly eased out of the pilot’s chair and steeled himself for whatever was going to happen and it was only as his hands automatically reached to tug at the hem of his jacket that he saw the rank stripes around his sleeve. Remembered the First Order logo higher up. He could have kicked himself—to think he almost walked through the spaceport still in uniform. There was nothing he could do about the Xi-class—he could only hope that no one looked too closely at it—but he wasn’t going to stay alive very long if he wandered around advertising his allegiance.</p><p>He took off the belt and jacket, folding it neatly and laying over the arm of the co-pilot’s chair. He was wearing a long sleeve black undershirt beneath it, but he felt naked without the extra layer. The gloves came off next, then he untucked his undershirt and pulled his jodhpurs out from his boots. It wasn’t much better, but it’d have to do.</p><p>“What do you think, Millicent? Does this say ‘innocent traveller’ to you?” </p><p>Millicent blinked slowly at him then yawned and went back to sleep.</p><p>“Well, you’re no help,” he muttered. He went to the refresher and cast a critical eye over his appearance in the mirror. He barely recognised the man before him. At least he looked the part. He sighed. He’d been wearing the same things now for two or three cycles, and it clearly showed. He sniffed an armpit and winced. Anyone who got close enough to smell him would surely mistake him for a down-on-his-luck traveller too. There was no saving the state of his face. He had several days worth of stubble for the first time in years—shaving before every shift, no matter the time, had been a point of pride—and there were heavy bags beneath his eyes. His hair was beyond saving too, hanging limply over his forehead, a touch too short to stay put when hooked behind his ears. He wet his hands and was about to make an attempt to smooth it back, but decided to leave it scruffy—it added to the aesthetic he was trying to project, and there was little he could do to it anyway. He would stand out with ginger hair no matter what. </p><p>As a last touch, he tore a strip from a blanket he’d found in one of the bunks. He hesitated before wrapping it around his head—from the smell, it hadn’t been laundered in a while—but he needed something both to cover his distinctive hair and protect his fair skin from the sun. </p><p>With a final sneer at his unkempt appearance, he tucked the blaster into his waistband, grabbed the empty holdall and opened the hatch. </p><p>*</p><p>The pit droids were still tinkering with the engine when Hux returned to the ship after a couple of hours, sandy, sweaty, and drained. It hadn’t been the terrible experience he’d anticipated, but he couldn’t say he enjoyed the feeling of being hunted, of constantly looking over his shoulder, of expecting to see the familiar flash of white duraplas at any minute or feel the muzzle of a blaster against the back of his head. He’d thought he’d seen Ren several times, a dark shadow in the corner of the cantina, a hooded figure in the crowd, but the apparition disappeared when he looked directly at it, so he had to assume he’d imagined it. Ren couldn’t project himself like that, could he…? At least no one had recognised him, as far as he could tell, and he now had enough food and, more importantly, cat litter, to last him at least a week. His credit chip had been accepted with only minimal side-eyeing too, which had been a relief since he wasn’t sure what he would have done if it hadn’t been. </p><p>He’d instructed the pit droids to run basic diagnostics on the engines while refuelling, and he was pleased to see there wasn’t too much damage beyond normal wear and tear. There were a couple of issues flagged for attention, but he didn’t have the time to get them seen to. He was by no means an expert on the Xi-class, but as far as he could tell, none of the outstanding problems affected the hyperdrive so they could be fixed another time.</p><p>He ate while he waited for the droids to finish up. Millicent, surprisingly, hadn’t seemed annoyed at being left behind while he went to the markets, and sat on the co-pilot’s chair, begging for (and getting) tidbits of meat from his meal. It felt like the first time he’d stopped in days and once he’d eaten, his eyes drifted closed to the rhythmic sound of Millicent’s loud, rumbling purrs.</p><p>*</p><p>Hux snorted awake, confused for a moment by the unfamiliar surroundings. Millicent was still curled up on the chair, so he didn’t think he’d been asleep long. His head felt foggy and slow, though. He’d not meant to nod off—what if someone had attacked? <i>Had</i> someone attacked? Panic flitted at the edges of his mind as he tried to work out what had woken him. Everything was quiet, Millicent was breathing softly beside him, the ship’s engines were still, no alarms blaring or blaster fire… but then he realised he could hear a faint pinging sound. It took him a moment to work out where it could be coming from, but the second he did, he was up, dislodging Millie, who yowled her annoyance. There was a message on the ship’s comm from his Resistance contact. He could have wept when he saw the coordinates on the screen. It wasn’t much, no name, no instructions, but it was a heading. It meant the first part of his plan was in motion and it was a relief to know he wasn’t completely without purpose. He hadn’t realised how terrified he’d been.</p><p>He input the coordinates into the navicomputer and they pointed him to a location on a moon in the Cademimu sector—not an area of space he was familiar with. It would take him just over full cycle to get there, but at least that would give him time to sleep. He needed to be at his best when he met the contact if he was to talk himself out of an execution at their hands instead of Ren’s. The throbbing in his head worsened and he closed his eyes against the flickering lights of the console. </p><p>As the Xi-class entered hyperspace, Hux tried not to think about all the many ways his plan could go terribly, terribly wrong.</p><p>*</p><p> Hux blinked. He was back on the Finalizer—he’d recognise this bridge anywhere, his crew, that mark on the floor by the console Ren had carved up only two months ago—only…there was something off.</p><p>“Mitaka, status report,” Hux snapped as the lieutenant scurried towards him. He didn’t stop, or even blink. It was as if Hux didn’t exist. “Lieutenant Mitaka! When I am talking to you—” Mitaka darted past him and left the bridge without a backward glance. </p><p>Hux could barely contain his rage. He’d have the man thrown on latrine duty faster than he could blink. He didn’t care how sharp his mind was, he’d strip him of his rank and have him polishing the inside of the trash chute until his fingers bled. He’d—  </p><p>Another officer bustled towards him, staring at her datapad. She looked up as she passed and it was as if she looked right through him—there was no hint of recognition and Hux found himself stepping back to get out of her way.    </p><p>“What the—” Hux muttered. His hands went to his uniform to smooth it down, a nervous habit he hated but had been unable to kick, and to his horror, found he was wearing only his undershirt. He was also missing his gloves and his jodhpurs were no longer tucked neatly into his boots. He reached up to his hair, already knowing what he’d find, but his mouth pulled into a moue of disgust when he felt the loose strands. What was going on? </p><p>Then he remembered. </p><p>He remembered the ambush, the cell, the escape. Was this a dream, then? It wasn’t a scenario he remembered living through… but it was detailed in that way his own dreams weren’t—and the fact he was aware enough to question it suggested a degree of lucidity he wasn’t used to in sleep. He walked to where Petty Officer Demers was standing in conversation with Captain Peavey (and what was <i>he</i> doing back on Hux’s Star Destroyer?), and waved a hand between their faces. Nothing. He gingerly held out a finger to prod Peavey’s cheek, but it went straight though. Hux shuddered and wiped his finger on his shirt. So, definitely a dream. It was probably brought on by anxiety. He wasn’t a stranger to anxiety dreams, although they usually involved more nudity and pointing and laughing. This total lack of acknowledgement was a whole new level of stress.</p><p>There was a sudden change in the energy of the bridge. Hux turned to see Ren stalking along the command walkway. This was more in line with what he expected from his anxiety dreams. Ren. He was unmasked and heading straight for Hux, but as with everyone else, he didn’t seem to see him at all. Even so, Hux tried calling out to him a few times—if anyone would be able to see him, it would be that shadow-clad space witch. He kept his voice stern, sharp, but there wasn’t even a flicker of acknowledgement.</p><p>“For the love of— Ren!” he shouted, frustration winning out over his restraint. This time Ren stopped. He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head as if scenting the air, but then shook his head and carried on, walking down the command walkway and stopping with his back to the bridge, facing the main viewport. </p><p>His body seemed stiff, his hair lank. He was affecting a pose Hux favoured himself—hands clasped behind him, back straight—but on him it looked awkward and uncomfortable. He had gloves on, but Hux would bet a year’s credits that his knuckles were white beneath them. He looked like a man on the edge and Hux couldn’t help feeling a kind of gratification at Ren’s obvious suffering. (Even though this was clearly a construct of his own mind, he reminded himself). A few officers approached him, hesitance clear in their movements, and Ren nodded along with whatever they had to say even though his expression reeked of indifference. Hux thought about getting closer so he could hear what was being said, but it was fascinating watching unobserved. At this distance, he couldn’t fail to notice the way some of the crew smirked behind Ren’s back, the knowing glances they shot each other, the almost patronising way they carefully pointed things out on their datapads. Did they always act like this, he wondered? Ren, for his part, seemed… uncertain, weary. It was as if someone had stripped away his arrogance and left a gawky teen, and it struck Hux that this Ren—constructed in Hux’s head or extrapolated from memories—didn’t have a kriffing clue what he was doing, and the people around him had worked it out. They were scared of him, sure, but there was no respect. Was this Ren’s anxiety dream? </p><p> The situation pleased Hux initially, but the longer he watched, the more it soured and twisted inside him. Was this how Ren felt when he was on the bridge? Or was it how Hux remembered him? The lack of respect shown by the bridge crew was enough that Hux would have seen them all punished if he were there. It was one thing for him to openly disrespect the Supreme Leader (Ren was, after all, insufferable), but from anyone else, it smacked of insubordination and a distinct lack of respect for the rigid hierarchy of the First Order. </p><p>While Hux’s attention had wandered to the crew, Ren had finished whatever it was he’d come to the bridge to accomplish and was striding through the security foyer. The second the door closed behind him there was an audible, collective breath. Hux glared at them despite it making no difference to anything and hurried to follow Ren off the bridge. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt important, and he didn’t particularly fancy listening to any more hushed gossip and barely concealed disrespect.</p><p>
  
</p><p>He arrived at Ren’s side without realising how he got there. One minute he was on the bridge, then next, he was trailing Ren through the corridor. Where was he going? As he followed, the ship started to decay around them. Durasteel panels peeling away from the bulkheads like paper, the floor panels warping. Ren didn’t seem to notice.</p><p>“What in the stars is going on?” Hux muttered to himself.</p><p>“I thought it was you,” Ren replied, his voice subdued but still with a pointed edge. He didn’t look around and Hux thought for a moment that maybe he imagined it.</p><p>“Wait, can you hear me?” he asked, stopping in the middle of the corridor. Had he known Hux was there the whole time? Could he see him? “And what’s that supposed to mean—<i>I thought it was you?</i>” He dropped his voice mimicking Ren’s rumbling bass. “Have you known I was here the whole time?”</p><p>Ren turned to look at him… or the area where Hux was standing because it still felt like Ren couldn’t actually see him. “Why won’t you leave me alone? I’m so tired. All I hear all day is ‘General Hux this’ ‘General Hux that’. And you constantly plague my dreams, my visions. What’s <i>that</i> supposed to mean? You’re gone, but still I get no peace.” He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “I should have killed you when I had a chance, but even then, I doubt you would have left. You’re so… insistent.”</p><p>“Leave you alone?” Hux spluttered. He couldn’t decide if he was more outraged or confused. He certainly didn’t understand how he was having this conversation. “Wait a minute, people talk about me?”</p><p>Ren snorted, an unhappy half-laugh. “Incessantly.”</p><p>“Oh.” His lips quirked into a smile. “That… that’s good. Unless they’re spreading gossip, I suppose.” </p><p>“Your skill as a General was unparallelled if certain people are to be believed. Personally, I don’t see it, but there’s no accounting for taste.” </p><p>Hux was saved from answering by a panel falling from the ceiling and hitting the floor with a loud clang right behind him. Ren didn’t flinch.</p><p>“What’s happening? Why aren’t you looking after my ship? Is this your doing?”</p><p>“It’s your fault.”</p><p>“<i>My</i> fault? And just how did you reach that ridiculous conclusion?”</p><p>“You left.”</p><p>“I… How— It wasn’t as if that was my <i>choice.</i> I don’t know if you remember, but you were going to execute me. Was I supposed to just sit back and accept that? Be content as your personal whipping boy?”</p><p>Infuriatingly, Ren just shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t see anymore. The path is hidden. But this feels wrong, what is happening now, I mean.”</p><p>“You’re telling me. I’m—” Hux stopped himself before revealing any information about his location. He didn’t know if this was really Ren, but just in case… </p><p>He looked around and realised the ship had continued peeling away around them. The corridor they were standing was now open at both ends, only the vastness of space beyond, but strangely, Hux didn’t feel scared. He struggled to pin down the exact emotion, but morbidly curious was the closest approximation. It was oddly calming staring into the encroaching darkness. </p><p>“What’s happening?”</p><p>“Everything is falling apart.”</p><p>“Well obviously. I can see that.” He gestured at the bits of ship floating away from them.</p><p>“Can you?”</p><p>Hux couldn’t answer—it felt like more was being asked. Was this Ren’s mind? If so, why was he here? And if this was his own mind, did that he mean he was having this infuriatingly circular conversation with himself? He looked away from the void to find Ren disintegrating, bits of him peeling away like the rest of the ship. </p><p>He called out to Ren in alarm, reaching out to grab his arm only to find his own body disintegrating.</p><p>“What—”</p><p>Everything around him swirled into the darkness like water down a drain. Hux didn’t even have time to scream.</p><p>*</p><p>Hux awoke with a jolt, yanked back to consciousness with the feeling of being dropped. It took him a few seconds to remember he wasn’t in his quarters on the Finalizer, and then a few more to remember where he actually was and why his body was acting like it hated him. At least he’d managed to crawl into a bunk before falling asleep, so he hadn’t slept folded into the pilot’s chair again, but he’d still woken stiff-necked and uncomfortable. </p><p>Something didn’t feel right. He shook his head to clear the weird dream that still clung to his mind, pressing his knuckles into his eyes. There was a noise coming from somewhere. A high pitched wailing. He thought he was imagining it, but it didn’t stop even as the fog of sleep lifted. It had a familiar tone; a little like the alarms in the flying sims that always preceded imminent catastrophe— </p><p>He threw himself out of the bunk, scraping his shins on the ledge as he scrambled to the cockpit. The shuttle was shaking violently—<i>how hadn’t he noticed that?—</i>and the reason became rapidly evident when he reached the cockpit and found it awash with flashing red lights. </p><p>Instruments and panels rattled with worrying intensity as tremors rippled through the hull, and the ship lurched as if being repeatedly struck. There was nothing immediately apparent on the scanners, so he didn’t think he was under fire, but looking at the logs something had struck the dorsal wing after dropping out of hyperspace. It shouldn’t have caused this mess though, unless… The deflector shields. <i>Kriff.</i> The cause of the angriest warning flashing on the console. Twenty percent. How had that happened? Hull integrity was worryingly low too. He threw himself into the pilot’s chair to try and wrestle some control back. It had perhaps been a mistake to push his shuttle so hard, he thought as he swallowed down his panic and methodically worked through the various alarms and warnings. The shuttle had dropped out of hyperspace at the correct coordinates, at least, and when he finally had enough attention to spare, he saw a lush, green moon filling the viewport. </p><p>He paused for a moment, just to appreciate the immensity of his actions. Former-general Hux, about to meet with the Resistance and exchange information for his life, on the slim chance that they might help him (however unwittingly) take back control of the First Order from Supreme Leader Ren… As long as he could make it through the atmosphere in one piece.</p><p>He only had a rough heading but he assumed they would be watching the scanners for his arrival so he opened the ship’s comm system, ready to accept further instruction and started his approach.</p><p>Vestiges of the dream still had fingers in his mind even as he tried to keep the shuttle steady. He remembered Ren; remembered feeling something close to sympathy for him, but had that been a concoction of his mind? Or had he somehow slipped into Ren’s? It seemed highly improbable and he chided himself for even considering the notion but there was just something about the Ren in his dream that had been so different, so at odds to the one he knew. He couldn’t begin to fathom why his unconscious mind would have painted him in that light—he’d never felt anything even bordering on sympathy for him before.</p><p>The intensity of the vibrations increased as Hux guided the ship lower, rattling his teeth in his skull. The approach was too fast. He needed to pull up but he couldn’t get control of the yoke. Something was stuck or stiff or his hands were too sweaty. He cut power to the rear thrusters to try and slow his descent but the trees were rushing closer. A mountain range rose out of the dense forest to the port side, a vast stretch of water glittered innocently to starboard. It was all he could do to keep the ship on course between the two since plunging into either would mean certain death. </p><p>As shield and proximity alarms wailed, he couldn’t help thinking about the dream again, about how much more peaceful it had been when the Finalizer had disintegrated around him. He put everything he had into pulling up the blunt nose of the shuttle, steadying her descent, guiding her lower. The hull juddered violently as the landing gear caught on the trees. His arms ached, his head spun, but he managed to keep the shuttle level, until a rocky outcrop rose up unexpectedly. He pulled up sharply, desperation clawing at him but he was too late to avoid it. There wasn’t enough time. He clipped the starboard wing sending the shuttle into a spin. </p><p>Green and blue swirled in his vision; his teeth clacked together as his head smacked over and over into the headrest; the seat belt bit painfully into his skin as he was jolted forwards. He tried to hold on to the controls but he could no longer tell which way was up.</p><p>His last thought before he blacked out was not of his failure, but his regret at bringing Millicent on his doomed escape. He hoped she wouldn’t hate him in the after life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Art by <a href="https://ellalba.tumblr.com/">Ellalba</a>!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo stared up at the ceiling, eyes gritty. The floor was unforgiving beneath him. He blinked slowly, the bare ceiling fading in and out of focus. He didn’t feel rested at all. He’d been trying to meditate but he’d had that dream again. The one where no one was listening or taking him seriously, treating him like he was an inconvenience, someone to be belittled and then ignored. He always woke deeply suspicious when it happened. But it had felt different this time—more like a vision, only not quite. He couldn’t put his finger on why but it left him feeling horribly unsettled and made sinking into a proper meditative state impossible.</p><p>So, he’d given up, lain on the floor, and spent the last few hours staring at the ceiling. Not hiding. Not avoiding.</p><p>He should be focusing on trying to locate the Resistance; he needed to bring Rey under heel. She was a liability and the Resistance was too strong with her, but he’d been unable to concentrate. Everything was in flux. It had been this way since Hux’s betrayal. He rolled his head and looked at his bed, the bits of mattress and blanket still coating the floor like snow—he’d not wanted to admit to maintenance that he’d destroyed everything. That was another thing that Hux had always taken care of, he was discovering—somehow he’d always known when Kylo had taken his lightsaber to the fittings, and the damage had been handled. Now Kylo had to order the clean up himself and he didn’t like it. It left a sour taste in his mouth, admitting to others he’d lost control. Again.</p><p>He kept discovering things that Hux had micromanaged. He wondered whether even Snoke had been aware of how far Hux’s influence wormed through every level of the First Order. There had been nothing in the ship that he hadn’t been aware of, it seemed. It made his betrayal all the more unbelievable, and made his subsequent escape all the more dangerous. Finding Hux was now his priority. He wouldn’t let him slip through his fingers again.</p><p>Kylo growled when his reflection was interrupted by the persistent chiming of the door. He’d thought he’d made it clear that he was not to be disturbed, but clearly no one paid any attention. </p><p>He leapt to his feet. “What?” he snarled as the door slid open to reveal Lieutenant Mitaka. He crowded the entrance as much as he could so the destruction of his quarters wouldn’t be visible.</p><p>“S-Supreme Leader.” Mitaka flinched back from Kylo’s glare. “We have a situation with the Delphidians on Rujul 2. Negotiations for the renewed trading contracts are breaking down because they refuse to speak to anyone but General Hux, and Captain Peavey has been unable to—”</p><p>“Hux is no longer a general, your deference is pointless.” He clenched his jaw against all the other things he wished to say about Hux. There really was no getting away from him.</p><p>“Oh, um, sorry. Sorry. Yes. Anyway, we must act swiftly to avoid them pulling out of the treaty Gen— um. Mr?… Hux negotiated or we’ll lose access to the mineral deposits and risk an invaluable trading route—” </p><p>Kylo’s head was pounding. He didn’t need these complications. Weren’t there other people to do this? Hux couldn’t have been responsible for everything. They had a corps dedicated to diplomacy, for stars’ sake. Did no one think for themselves? “Send three squadrons to strafe their main base. The First Order doesn’t negotiate.”</p><p>“Um, okay, only, Mr Hux had hoped to keep the relations friendly since they keep the primitive, yet astonishingly aggressive population under control and we don’t have the numbers to keep them subdued without their assistance and it really is a valuable resource, both financially and politically, even if—”</p><p>“Are you questioning my orders, Lieutenant? You seem very fond of Hux—just how deep do your sympathies run? Did you have a hand in his escape? Were you working with him?” </p><p>Mitaka trembled, his eyes squeezed shut as Kylo’s hand skirted his face. It would be so easy to just pluck the information he needed, but it already felt like someone was pressing hot needles into his skull and skittish though he was, Mitaka was useful to have around. Kylo didn’t want to risk breaking him.</p><p>“Supreme Leader, a word.” Captain Phasma appeared behind Mitaka, her stance rigid. He’d not even sensed her approach. What was wrong with him? He stepped back from Mitaka and the man near wilted. Phasma subtly supported him with a hand on his arm that Kylo pretended not to see.</p><p>“I need to speak with you about recruiting new bodies into the conditioning program. We’re losing Stormtroopers almost as fast as we’re able to replace them and resources are stretched thin. It won’t be long before this becomes a serious issue. Hux had measures in place but—”</p><p>Kylo gritted his teeth. “Thank you, Captain. You’re dismissed.” <i>Hux.</i> Why did everything always have to come back to him?</p><p>Phasma left without argument, just a stiff nod that still somehow managed to ooze disapproval, dragging Mitaka with her. Once they’d gone, Kylo closed the door, resting his forehead against the cool durasteel for a moment. It was going to be a long day. </p><p>* * *</p><p>Hux’s awareness came back to him slowly. A dripping sound—something wet hitting something metallic—then there came the smells. Burnt electronics, a faint earthy odour that put him in mind of the soggy leaf mulch back on Arkanis. A moment’s panic followed, that maybe he was back; maybe his entire life had been a lie and he’d never left his home world outside of his own head—quickly dismissed as the utter nonsense it was. And finally, there came the pain, each heart beat bringing fresh agony, each breath like a knife through his ribs. </p><p>He didn’t think he’d been out long but honestly, he had no idea. It could have been weeks for all he knew. The light filtering in through the cracked viewport suggested it was daytime, but whether it was the same day was anybody’s guess. The cockpit was at an angle and the seatbelt cut uncomfortably into his waist, but at least it had done its job and prevented him from decorating the interior of the cockpit with his brains. </p><p>A pitiful <i>mew</i> drew his attention to the footwell under the console and he quickly located Millicent, huddled in the shadows. She hissed when he attempted to coax her closer, but from what he could tell, she appeared to be unharmed. Pissed off, very, but no serious injuries. He’d be surprised if she forgave him this time, though. The look she’d sent him and the paw she’d struck him with when he’d held his hand out was a fairly unambiguous indication of her mood. </p><p>With Millicent accounted for, he made a quick assessment of his own injuries and was pleased to find nothing that seemed overtly serious. His head pounded and he was fairly sure he’d opened up the gash from before or got a new one—there was something sticky drying in his hair and down the side of his face that pulled at his skin when moved. His nose felt swollen too, although not broken, he thought, tentatively pressing it with his fingers. His limbs also appeared to be unbroken, but when he released the seatbelt and tried to stand up, he was hit with a wave of nausea as he tried to put weight on his right leg. That was going to complicate things if he had to go any great distance on foot.</p><p>He leaned against the chair to take the weight off his leg and tried to figure out a plan. He needed to establish where he was, and he needed to reach the Resistance somehow, assuming they hadn’t lured him here to rot, alone. He wouldn’t put it past them. He checked the console, flicked a few switches, but it was dead. He might be able to get it working again given time, but how long did he have before any natives got curious and tried to eat him? If his contact had tried to hail him, there was no telling now. He’d have to assume he was alone and plan accordingly. </p><p>Panic simmered in the background as he hobbled about the cockpit, gathering up his few supplies and coaxing Millicent into the holdall. He made another attempt to start up the shuttle’s navicomputer—if he could just get the comm unit working, he’d be able to send a message to his Resistance contact—but it remained resolutely dead. He could only hope they’d picked him up on their sensors. He’d have to rig something to get the system back online or he was going to be spending a lot more time here. From what he could remember from his brief flight over the surface, there was nothing but dense jungle. And that ocean. No signs of civilisation. He’d need to find some fresh water if he was going to survive for any length of time. </p><p>A wave of despair washed over him, tightening his throat, and he had to stop for a second, white-knuckled grip on the edge of the console. He wasn’t built for survival in the wild. He’d perish. </p><p>He shook his head, stuffing the unhelpful thoughts away. He wouldn’t perish. He refused to die like this.</p><p>Hux limped out of the small cockpit, supporting himself on the bulkhead to ease the pressure on his leg. He’d debated bringing Millicent with him, but as he was only going to investigate the damage to the outside of the shuttle, he thought better and decided to leave her behind. The organic smell grew stronger as he approached the rear of the ship, and he was assaulted by wafts of warm swampy air that told him the airlock was already open. It was a rich, earthy, yet weirdly sweet odour that made Hux both gag and feel a pang of homesickness. Not for his home world, but for the Finalizer. His ship. He missed the purified air, the straight lines, the smooth, clean planes. Everything had been a jumbled mess since he’d been forced to leave, and he was struck anew with the hopelessness of his situation. What was he thinking, planning to take back the Finalizer? Had he really thought he could single-handedly overthrow the Supreme Leader? He only had Phasma’s word that there were others loyal to him in the First Order, but he knew for a fact that most of the upper echelon—the imperial relics that had managed to worm their way into positions of authority and grabbed for any scrap of power they could in the First Order—would happily see him burn.</p><p>He inched through the body of the shuttle towards the open hatch at the rear, clenching his jaw against the pain shooting up his leg. He still didn’t think it was broken, but there was a gash in his knee he hadn’t noticed until the fabric of his jodhpurs had pulled the wound open, and now he could feel the steady trickle of blood seeping into his boot.</p><p>A noise outside caught his attention. It clashed with the other sounds—animals shrieking to each other, the hum of insects, the steady drip drip drip of water—it sounded altogether too… humanoid. Like a heavy boot kicking into something metallic; and then a few moments later, the unmistakable sound of someone clearing their throat and muttering. </p><p>There was someone outside his ship.</p><p>Hux tensed, frozen by indecision. His sense of self-preservation warred with his curiosity, but he didn’t become the youngest General in the First Order by being a coward. He carefully removed his blaster from his waistband and took the safety off, switched it off stun mode. When he reached the hatch, he held himself flat against the bulkhead and peered outside, thankful that he was all in black. He couldn’t see anything, and was considering whether to edge down the ramp and risk revealing himself when he heard a voice.</p><p>“Hey… Yeah, I made it. It’s like we thought. Ship came down. It’s pretty beat up… Not sure, but we can definitely scavenge for parts—”</p><p>Hux bristled. He’d only been with the shuttle a short while, and he hadn’t quite realised how attached he’d grown to it, but hearing someone talk so casually about its fate rubbed him the wrong way. It was <i>his.</i> They couldn’t pick it apart like a gang of grabby-handed Jawas. He needed it if he was ever to get away from here, for a start. This… this thieving kriffing nerfherder had another think coming if they thought they could steal from him.</p><p>“So listen, you’re never going to believe who it is… No, higher… Higher!” There was a laugh, Hux realised he was listening to one side of a call. He could just make out the buzz of the reply, but not the words. “Not quite, but close…You’re never going to… Yeah! I couldn’t believe it… Of course I’m sure.  … No, that’s fine, I can do that… Cuffs? …He’s out cold at the moment so tell Leia we’re gonna be a little while… Nah, I’ve got it.”</p><p>The dawning realisation that this must be his Resistance contact rather than a potentially murderous scavenger brought with it mixed feelings. That he wouldn’t have to find his own way out of the jungle or attempt to survive alone in the wilderness was an immense relief, but he also felt cornered, the enormity of defecting to the Resistance, even temporarily, was suddenly suffocating. Stars. What had he done? </p><p>The decision as to how best to proceed was taken out of his hands, though, when the man appeared at the bottom of the ramp, tucking a communicator into his pocket. An orange BB unit trundling along at his heels. </p><p>Hux’s stomach dropped as recognition dawned. <i>Dameron?</i></p><p>Of all the Resistance operatives he could have had the misfortune to be found by, why did it have to be him? Hux had had limited experience with the man, but he’d made a point of learning everything he could about high-ranking members of the Resistance. There had been nothing redeeming about the profile he’d built of Poe Dameron, <i>acting</i> General, Resistance pilot, and all round cocky flyboy. Hux despised men like him.</p><p>Dameron didn’t see him right away, and Hux chose not to announce his presence, flattening himself against the hull, pressing deeper into the shadows and steadying his breaths. He kept the blaster cocked; a small part of him still imagining this to be a trap. Although… Dameron had clearly already seen him unconscious—if murder was his intention, he’d missed a good opportunity. Idiot.</p><p>Hux watched him, unable to conceal his contempt for the man. His shirt was crumpled and sweat-stained, his boots and trousers spattered with rust-coloured mud, and the one weapon Hux could see was still in its holster. He strolled up the ramp shuttle, casually turning a coin or charm of some description over his fingers as if this was just a fun little jaunt on a resort planet. Hux was offended by just how little attention Dameron was paying. He reeked of arrogance. </p><p>The BB unit chirped as Dameron stepped off the top of the ramp and he looked down at it, eyebrow quirked. “What’s up, buddy? You see something?”</p><p>Realising he’d been spotted, Hux emerged from the shadows, keeping a firm hold on his blaster. “Not another step,” he said, aiming squarely at Dameron’s chest. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Woah, woah.” Dameron’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline and he held his hands up in a placating gesture. He stumbled back a step, conveniently moving out of the light spilling in from the open hatch and positioned his back against the hull. Hux doubted it had been an accident. </p><p>Recognition flashed in Dameron’s eyes and he chuckled, dropping his hands to his side. “Oh, it’s you. Hey sunshine, good to see you up and about. Gotta say, I did not expect to see the infamous General Hux when they asked me to track down our informant.” He sauntered further into the shuttle leaving Hux to splutter impotently at his retreating back. </p><p>“You got any bags?” Dameron called over his shoulder. “We should get going if we want to get to my ship before nightfall. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing dangerous lurking in these woods, but it’d be stupid to test it, right?”</p><p>Hux was tempted to pull the trigger just to shut him up. Who turned their back on an enemy with a blaster? He knew he looked a little ragged around the edges, and the clothes did little to hide his slight frame, but did Dameron really think so little of him? Did he consider Hux muzzled and neutered just because he’d (temporarily) left the First Order? If he’d had any clue where he was or had any other way to leave, he wouldn’t have hesitated to leave Dameron for dead.</p><p>“Not very chatty are you,” Dameron shouted as he disappeared from view. There was a slight echo on his voice and Hux wondered what he was up to. If he was poking his nose into Hux’s meagre personal items, Hux’d put a bolt through his eyes regardless of the risk of being stranded for the rest of his days. Infuriating man. </p><p>He followed Dameron deeper into the ship to keep an eye on him, but didn’t lower his blaster. The gash on his knee throbbed, a fresh trickle of blood oozing out of the deep cut. Hux did his best to ignore the pain but he couldn’t help the hiss of pain that escaped his lips.</p><p>“So, has it been you the whole time? The spy? Or are there a bunch of you?” Dameron asked as Hux caught up with him lifting the maintenance hatch and nosing around.</p><p>“Yes, it’s been me. Just me. As far as I’m aware, anyway—you’re the ones receiving the intel, don’t you check where it’s coming from?” He sneered as Dameron edged past him. “And no, I’m not <i>chatty.</i> I don’t see the point in mindless small talk. I— Leave that alone!” He hurried over to where Dameron was reaching out to open the cockpit, where he’d left Millicent before heading out on his abortive attempt to explore. </p><p>“Keep your panties on, jeez.” Dameron made a face and moved away from the door. “What, you got a girl in there, or something? A guy?”  </p><p>Hux scoffed and rolled his eyes. “My cat. Millicent, if you must know.” He cursed his pale skin as he felt it heat.</p><p>“You brought your cat? Ah man, that’s—” He shook his head disbelievingly and huffed out a laugh. “A cat? I never pictured you as a cat-person, but you know what? It fits. General Armitage Hux, cat person.” He laughed again, seemingly amused by his own statement. Kriffing hells.</p><p>“Hux.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“It’s just Hux. Clearly, I’m no longer a general, and I’d rather not be reminded of that particular…failing.” He spat the last word out. He loathed failure and to label something he’d done as such stuck in his throat. “And if you try to call me Armitage, I’ll shoot you in the balls.”</p><p>“Okay, good to know.” The self-assured smirk remained on Dameron’s face as he turned and headed back towards the entry ramp. “You can call me Poe, by the way, rather than any of the insults I can tell are lining up on your tongue. This bag coming with us?” He didn’t wait for Hux’s affirmative nod before hoisting Hux’s paltry bag of supplies onto a shoulder. “Anything else?”</p><p>“Just Millicent. I’ll get her,” he said, unwilling to trust the task to that Resistance oaf. He limped to the cockpit, feeling his cheeks flush red at Poe’s amused eye roll. He was fully aware of how ridiculous it was, bringing his cat along on an escape, but he could hardly have left her behind. Thankfully Poe said nothing about it. </p><p>“I’ll wait outside. Come on, BB8.” </p><p>Hux waited until they were out of view before slipping into the cockpit, relieved at the reprieve from such intolerable company. He would make Ren pay in full for every indignity he suffered at the hands of these scourges of the galaxy.</p><p>*</p><p>The trek through the jungle was interminable. Poe’s estimation that they’d be able to make it before nightfall was woefully inaccurate, although that was possibly because he’d failed to take into consideration the fact that Hux could barely walk. Poe had eventually made them stop so he could put some bacta on Hux’s wound and bind it. He’d also forced some painkillers on him, withholding water until he’d grudgingly agreed to take the pills, which Hux had thought was highly unreasonable. Admittedly, the journey was much easier after that, but he didn’t appreciate the increase to Poe’s smugness.</p><p>The pain wasn’t the only issue he had to contend with. He was also hit with waves of rage that made him stumble and bite down on his tongue to avoid cursing. It seemed to be more than irritation at Poe or the thick undergrowth or the horridly humid air that made every breath unpleasant; the anger was gone as quickly as it surfaced, but he hated that he couldn’t identify where it was coming from. He liked to think he had good control of his emotions so the sudden urge to murder someone just because a fly buzzed too close to his face felt like an abnormal reaction.</p><p>“There she is,” Poe said proudly.</p><p>Hux squinted at the beaten up old freighter, perched precariously on the edge of a rocky plateau. It was the first break he’d seen in the endless swathe of jungle. “A ship? This isn’t the base?”</p><p>“Of course not. You think we’d give a First Order Spy our exact location? Come on, Hux. I thought you were supposed to be smart.” He cuffed Hux on the shoulder making him lose his footing as he navigated over a root.</p><p>Hux spat out a few choice invectives. “Then why didn’t you leave the kriffing ship a little closer to where I crashed? Why make me walk all this way? Was this just some sick joke to you?” Millicent yowled as he joggled the holdall in his agitation.</p><p>“Calm down. Did you happen to see any other clearings on the way here? No. This is where we were supposed to rendezvous. It’s hardly my fault you can’t pilot a shuttle to save your life. Come on, it’s only a little way now.”</p><p>Hux curled his lip but chose to keep his retort to himself. He didn’t have the strength to get into another argument with Poe. He was at the very limits of his endurance. On top of the bone-deep exhaustion and constant low-level pain that pulsed through every inch of his body, he had sweated through his shirt several times over, his hair hung in wet clumps over his face, and his arse and balls were sore from the rubbing as he walked. He’d thought himself fit before now, but it turned out, ‘fit’ in a Star Destroyer gymnasium, with its controlled environment, regular water breaks (with cold water, not the warm piss from his flask), and towels to mop the sweat from his face was not ‘fit’ on a humid jungle moon, teeming with insects, after a week of not eating properly and having survived a ship crash, he added. He knew he was being a little harsh on himself, but it was hard not to when the person you were with was barely out of breath. </p><p>His headache flared to near-crippling intensity as they crested the plateau, the ship looming over them. Hux clenched his jaw and did his best to ignore it. He was pretty sure he was going to pass out soon, though. Everything was starting to look fuzzy around the edges. There were another couple of people waiting at the bottom of the ramp as he and Poe approached. Hux thought one of them looked vaguely familiar but his vision was fading in and out with the pounding of his head and it was taking his full concentration just getting one foot in front of the other. They might have spoken to him, but he couldn’t be sure. He was dimly aware of a pressure around his arm, and then he was laying down, something that felt like Millicent’s familiar weight on his chest.  </p><p>*</p><p>He came to some time later, his face pressed into a musty pillow. His clothes were scratchy with dried sweat and kriff knew what else, but at least the pain in his head had eased to a dull throb. His limbs were leaden and someone had redressed the wound on his leg, the bandage verging on uncomfortably tight. Hopefully nothing unwelcome was festering there. He found a canteen of fresh water and a bottle of painkillers beside him on the mattress, so he gulped a couple down, and sighed as the cool water instantly revived him a little.</p><p>The living area was empty so he followed the sound of voices to the cockpit. Three of the four seats were taken, their occupants engaged in a lively conversation about something banal. Poe was in the pilot’s chair, and Hux vaguely remembered the presence of the other two from when he’d arrived at the ship but he couldn’t recall if they’d been introduced. He supposed they would already know who he was, and he didn’t care to know them himself so it was no big deal. No one had noticed him, so he hung back in the doorway watching details emerge on the planet’s surface as they descended. More kriffing trees. They appeared to be descending towards a planet that looked exactly like the one they had supposedly left.</p><p>“Did we even go anywhere?” he asked. Conversation stopped abruptly and three pairs of eyes swivelled in his direction. Clearly no one had expected him to be up. He frowned when he saw Millicent curled up in the lap of the woman in the co-pilot’s chair.</p><p>“Hey,” Poe greeted, that same intolerably smug grin on his face. “Feel any better? You were pretty gone.”</p><p>“You try trekking for hours in the heat after having narrowly avoided death,” Hux snapped, and Poe at least had the decency to look slightly abashed. Hux looked at him askance and then nodded at the vista. “Have you spent the last few hours flying in circles?”</p><p>Poe rolled his eyes. “I’ll admit it looks similar. But it’s a different moon, okay? We’ll be there in five if you want to go wash up.”</p><p>Hux was going to protest but then he caught a whiff of his body odour and he couldn’t help but grimace. A quick wash was probably a good idea.</p><p>*</p><p>Hux’s first impression of the base was how ragged it looked. He’d seen footage of the Resistance base on D’Qar from the battle, and he’d been there at Crait, so he hadn’t disembarked from the ship with any great expectations, but he’d hoped for more than what looked like handful of battered X-wings, a mossy old starship and some camo nets. Was this it? Was this the sum total of the force that was running rings around the First Order? How was that even possible? Hux couldn’t quite believe that this ragtag bunch of misfits was actually considered a threat, and it made Ren’s inability to do anything about them even more astonishing. The place looked like it was cobbled together with spit and sticky tape, and he struggled to see past the renewed hopelessness of his situation.</p><p>“Look lively,” Poe muttered at his side as they approached what appeared to be the hub of this amateur operation.</p><p>Hux tore his judgemental gaze from a gonk droid that looked more rust than durasteel to find himself face to face with General Organa. She was smaller than he expected, and… plain. Ordinary. That was the best description he could come up with. If he hadn’t known her face from the history holos and Order propaganda, then he never would have presumed her to be the one in charge. There was steel there, though, obvious in her assessing gaze.</p><p> He shouldn’t have been surprised that she’d deigned to meet him herself, but a part of him wished he’d been given the chance to make himself presentable, just for appearances’ sake. He hated that he looked so haggard. This wasn’t the first impression he wanted to make… although, he supposed it could further his cause. Maybe they’d be more sympathetic towards him since he looked so pathetic. The weak-minded fools. </p><p>“General,” he said, inclining his head fractionally. They could read it as deferential or mocking, he didn’t care which.</p><p>“General,” Organa replied. She dragged her disdainful gaze over him and he bristled. Hux could practically see her mind working as she tried to figure out what to do with him. He kept his face carefully blank, back straight, and didn’t flinch under her scrutiny. Exhaustion dragged at his limbs and the wound in his leg throbbed in time with his headache, but he remained rigid, refusing to give an inch. </p><p>“He prefers ‘Hux’ now,” Poe supplied unhelpfully, breaking the stalemate. “Doesn’t like being reminded that he karked up his position in the First Order and was forced to come running to us with his tail between his legs.” </p><p>Hux fought the urge to scowl at him, but General Organa didn’t show the same restraint, giving Poe a look that could have melted durasteel. “Thank you, Poe.” She looked back at Hux, eyes widening when Millicent growled from inside the holdall. “What was that?”</p><p>“This is Millicent. My cat. Where I go, she goes,” he replied. Tiredness or stress or blood loss (or perhaps a combination of all three) was starting to make him light-headed and he couldn’t look at General Organa without feeling dizzy. He hoped they’d let him sit down soon.</p><p>General Organa sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Fine. Your cat can stay with you. Poe, can you show our… guest to his quarters and ensure someone from medical checks him over. It’d be a shame for him to die from a treatable infection before we’ve had a chance to find out what he’s up to.”</p><p>Poe led him into the large cave Hux had noticed on the way in. Its entrance, and a large part of the interior, it turned out, was mostly taken up by an old CR90. He’d not seen one up close before, but he’d read about them. It was equally as unimpressive on ground level as it was in space. He wondered whether there was a reason beyond aesthetics for the Resistance to prefer to make use of such clunky relics that should have been scrapped decades ago. </p><p>The cave appeared to be operating as some kind of command centre. People were busy at consoles, there were cables strung across the ceiling in clumps and snaking across the floor, and droids scuttled to and fro but the whole place had a temporary, haphazard feel to it. It was so different to what he was used to. How could they function effectively surrounded by such disorder? There were kriffing ferns growing out of the floor right next to sensitive scanning equipment. He once again was amazed that these people had managed to be such a persistent nuisance to the Order.</p><p>Hux’s room, when they reached it, turned out to be little more than a rocky overhang sectioned off from the rest of the cave system with a hastily constructed wall. It was located a short way down a dank passageway and seemed to have been a bit of an afterthought. Poe informed him it used to be used for storage, but Hux couldn’t imagine what anyone would want to store in it. </p><p>The walls were rough and unfinished, and felt cool and clammy to the touch. A light dangled from the ceiling, and there was a small cot with a neat stack of blankets, a desk, and, in the corner, a bucket behind a low screen. Lovely. On the desk itself was a bowl of water, a bar of soap, a jug and a cup. It seemed to toe the uncomfortable line between being a cell and a very poorly-appointed guest room. Hux glanced at the door, taking in the heavy duty bars that had been partially boarded (perhaps to give him a modicum of privacy), and the lock, and wasn’t at all surprised to find he was being imprisoned. </p><p>Poe gave him a look that could be interpreted as sympathetic or pitying as he stood in the doorway, watching Hux take in his room. He’d set Hux’s bag of supplies on the floor just outside the door, so Hux assumed he wouldn’t be getting that back anytime soon. Nor his blaster, but that was unsurprising. At least they’d let him keep Millicent. </p><p>“Sorry, buddy. Gotta be careful,” Poe said with a shrug. </p><p>Hux sneered. He didn’t need anyone’s pity, faked or otherwise. The mighty General Hux, brought low, locked away in a damp cave. They all must be laughing it up at his expense. Stars, if any of his officers could see him now… If <i>Ren</i> could see him now. It didn’t bear thinking about. </p><p>“So, I’ll er, I‘ll get a medic to come check you over. And someone’ll be by with food, I guess. Uh, what else. Water for washing there, bucket to piss in there—”</p><p>“I think I can work out the rest for myself.” Hux turned his back on Poe and set Millicent’s bag down on the bed. He wanted nothing more than to collapse face first into the undoubtedly mildew-ridden pillow and sleep for a week, but he’d wait for privacy before showing such weakness. From inside the bag, Millicent let out a plaintive mew, reminding Hux of his most immediate needs. “Can you instruct someone to bring me bowls for Millicent’s food and water, and a litter tray wouldn’t go amiss too.”</p><p>“Sure, I’ll get someone to bring something by. See you later, Hugs.”</p><p>Hux whipped around. “What did you—” but Poe had already closed the door, the lock engaging with a heavy clunk. “It’s Hux, you inbred Bantha,” he yelled. There was no reply.</p><p>“Looks like it’s just you and me again, Millie. Want to explore our new prison?” He let Millicent out, and was unsurprised when she darted immediately for the darkness beneath the cot. It couldn’t have been fun for her, being jostled in the bag all day.</p><p>As much as he wanted to sleep, Hux instead washed himself as best he could with the water and soap provided, and then paced the cell to try and keep himself awake. He wanted to be alert if and when the medic turned up, but the pain in his leg, the throbbing of his head, the sheer exhaustion embedded deep into his bones, forced him to the bed after only a short while. And almost as soon as he lay down, his eyes drifted shut. </p><p>* * *</p><p>The meeting dragged, just like they all did. High command wanting answers he couldn’t provide. Always poking. Always needling him. </p><p>Everyday, there were more meetings, more consultations, more requests. Everyone wanted something from him, but nobody listened. They ran scared, but they didn’t listen. They did what he demanded, but they <i>didn’t listen.</i> They were still questioning how he’d managed to let Hux escape. They wanted to know what was happening with the new plan, the new super weapon, the recruitment and training programs but Kylo didn’t know. Hux had overseen everything and Kylo had left him to it and now he was supposed to know what was meant to be happening and when? </p><p>Another meeting. Everyone was talking over each other and he couldn’t hear what anyone was saying and all he wanted to do was yell at them to leave him alone. They didn’t know what they were talking about, they were impatient, they were all jostling to fill the hole left behind by Hux, but Kylo wanted none of that. He refused to let anyone get as close to his level of authority as Hux had. He was in charge. The Order should do what he said without question. Why did they always question him? None of them even liked Hux and now they were acting like Kylo was wrong to get rid of him? That was nowhere near as bad as the ones vying for his attention, as if he needed a second in command. They were all beneath him. </p><p>The room juddered violently, spilling table water and causing a few shrieks from those gathered. Holoprojections flickered. </p><p>Kylo’s body ached. He hadn’t been able to sleep. Every spare moment, he’d spent reaching out with the Force, trying to locate Hux, but he was blocked at every turn. It was as if Hux was deflecting him, but that couldn’t be it. He was Force-null. Kylo knew that to be true—he’d checked enough times. But there was something there. It drew him in, but repelled him in the same breath. There was a reason for it, there had to be, and also a solution. He just needed the time to meditate, but no one would give him peace. </p><p>Leia’s disappointed face flickered in his mind’s eye and his lightsaber was in his hand without conscious thought. He brought it down through the centre of the table with a roar. </p><p>“ENOUGH!”</p><p>The gathered officers flinched as one. Some looked outraged, others gleeful. Most were cowering, as they should be. Pathetic fools.</p><p>“Get out. Come back when you’ve located Hux or have something worthwhile to say.”</p><p>The room fell silent as the door closed behind the last of the officers. Kylo worked out his rage on the table, the walls, the holoprojecters. He saw Hux’s face as he brought the lightsaber down again and again. He wanted the man out of his head. Wanted to stop hearing his sarcastic, judgemental tone. Wanted to stop feeling like Hux was standing just over his shoulder. Sparks scorched his clothes, but he didn’t stop until his arms started to shake. </p><p>No one came to check on him. No one yelled at him for destroying part of the ship. Rather than relief, he felt only emptiness and a gnawing dissatisfaction.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Hux awoke to find a tray of food had been left on the desk. It was basic fare but it made his mouth water to see it after his recent diet of nutrient paste and ration bars. It would have been embarrassing how loud his stomach rumbled, had there been anyone around to hear it. </p><p>He was halfway through demolishing the meal when he realised he hadn’t seen Millicent since waking. Bowls and a litter tray had been left for her, so they probably hadn’t had a change of heart and confiscated her, but a quick check of the room revealed a distinct lack of cat. Had she escaped? Her food showed clear signs of having been eaten though, so unless there were other creatures wandering around (not unlikely, he thought with a grimace), then she had at least been in the room fairly recently and probably knew where her next meal would be coming from. Even so, Hux felt the last of his appetite leave as he was struck with the loneliness of his situation. He’d never much cared for company, and could count on one hand how many people he’d considered friends over the years. But Millicent had always just been there, ever since she’d stumbled into his life, a fuzzy orange ball of hate and curiosity, one fateful shore leave five standard years ago. </p><p>The clunk of the door lock disengaging interrupted him before his thoughts could spiral. As it swung open, he hastily stood, immediately on edge at the intrusion. </p><p>“Don’t you knock?” Hux snapped. The intruder was a young man—at least ten years younger than himself, Hux guessed—and he wore a petulant glare that wouldn’t have looked out of place on Ren’s face, although the expression didn’t sit nearly so well on his pinched features. It made him look more constipated than fearsome or brooding. Not that Ren was either fearsome or brooding but… he definitely had a face that lent itself to pouting.</p><p>“Not everyone’s earned the privilege.” The man glanced around the room with a disdainful sneer, as if Hux had any hand in the decor at all. He supposed this would be his lot for the time being; grotty womp rats who could barely tell their arse from their elbow being openly disrespectful towards him. </p><p>Hux bit down on the words he wanted to say and took a breath. “Are you here for a reason, or just to admire the furniture?”</p><p>The boy—because really, he couldn’t have been more than twenty, and that was if Hux was being generous—flushed a bright crimson. He waved his blaster at Hux in what Hux assumed was supposed to be a threatening gesture. “General Organa wants to speak with you. Hands behind your back.” Hux frowned, momentarily confused, until he noticed the cuffs the man was holding out. He sighed and did as requested. “Come with me and don’t get no funny ideas about running off.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he muttered. His leg protested as the boy prodded him out of the cell but he swallowed the hiss, not wanting to advertise such weakness. </p><p>“I don’t suppose you’ve seen a cat around here, have you? Ginger, angry, answers to the name Millicent, if she can be bothered…”</p><p>The boy didn’t answer and Hux didn’t press the matter. Millicent was strong and independent, he told himself. With any luck she was chewing through important cables or harassing Resistance operatives. He tucked the worry away in the depths of his mind and focused instead on what he would say to General Organa to convince her he was trustworthy.</p><p>*</p><p>The interrogation room was in the CR90 that the Resistance had inexplicably docked inside the huge, fern-infested cave that served as the hub. Inside, there was a single table with a chair on either side. A steaming teapot of what smelled like tarine tea—<i>please be tarine tea</i>—along with two mugs sat to one side. Compared to the interrogation facilities they had at the First Order, it all looked rather civilised. </p><p>The boy—Hux hadn’t bothered to try finding out his name—shoved him into the far chair and released the cuffs just long enough to secure one of Hux’s arms to the table leg. Hux didn’t give him the pleasure of wincing when the boy deliberately tightened the cuff a notch too tight, but he made a mental note to make sure he met with a most unpleasant accident at the soonest available opportunity. He was left alone, cuffed to the table, irritation still crashing over him then ebbing away like waves on a beach. It was becoming his normal state, he thought. He’d always managed to keep such tight control of his emotions, it was unnerving to say the least. They didn’t even feel like <i>his</i> emotions; especially that background hum of rage, simmering beneath everything else. Was he becoming unhinged?</p><p>Hux wasn’t sure how much time passed, but he was beginning to wonder if anyone was going to turn up at all. He guessed they were probably leaving him to work himself up into a nervous bluster—a technique he’d employed enough to know when it was happening to himself—but knowing that didn’t make it any less frustrating to experience. They wouldn’t break him, that he was sure of, but he supposed they had to try.</p><p>Eventually, the door opened and there she was the great General Organa. Hux met her gaze head on, refusing to cower. </p><p>As he stared, her face flickered. It was as if there was another face below hers, both images visible at the same time, like two images laid one on top of the other. It was a younger Leia Organa he was seeing—the one in the holos from the fall of the empire, the darling of the Rebels. He was struck by a shifting wall of images flashing behind his eyes; younger General Organa, always walking away or turning her head or making a dismissive hand gesture. A fake smile. A nod and a pat on the head. The now familiar rage twisted into something new and equally as foreign as a great sadness welled up inside him. Although… was it all that foreign? The desperate desire to be seen, to be appreciated, and the overwhelming sadness at being met with failure time and time again. Never good enough, never smart enough, out of control, angry. </p><p>Emotions surged in his chest, causing him to gasp for breath as he struggled to breathe through the rage, the crushing loneliness, the sorrow. </p><p>“Hux!” His name, shouted. It sounded like it wasn’t the first time she’d said it. </p><p>He gasped as the room swam back into focus. He was hunched over himself as much as the restraint would allow, fists clenched into tight balls. His face felt hot, his eyes damp. Had he been crying? Kriff, no. He heaved in an unsteady breath. And another. Repeated the action until he felt his heart rate slow to a more reasonable pace. Only then, did he raise his head, although it was with some trepidation that he met General Organa’s concerned gaze this time. He had no idea what had just happened, but he had a feeling she was key. </p><p>He’d heard rumours about her…abilities, and it wasn’t all that unreasonable to expect that she might possess a similar skill set to Ren; she was his mother, after all, and he’d do well to remember that. Did that mystic nonsense get passed on genetically? Had he fled one mind reader, straight into the pit of another? He’d researched the Force as much as he could but there was scant information available and he’d ended up more confused than he’d started.</p><p>“Do I need to send for a medic?” Organa was sat opposite him now, eyes narrowed. She reached towards him, but at his flinch, seemed to remember herself and pulled her hand back. Hux gritted his teeth, furious with himself for the involuntary action. He wasn’t afraid of an old woman. </p><p>“No. I’m fine,” he ground out. His chest ached, his breathing still felt uncoordinated and shaky, and the little cuts in his palms stung as he sweated. But he was fine. </p><p>Organa eyed him skeptically but dropped the matter. “Let’s cut to the chase then. What do you want, Hux? Why has a former—” Hux sneered at her tone, “—general of the First Order, former right hand of Kylo Ren, fled across the galaxy to join the Resistance? And, while we’re on the subject, why were you feeding us intel in the first place?”</p><p>“My reasons are my own. I fail to see how that’s relevant. As to why I fled? You should ask your son.”</p><p>The blow landed, much to Hux’s satisfaction, but Organa quickly shook it off.</p><p>“See, that’s not really good enough. Tell me, what’s to stop us killing you right now?”</p><p>“You wouldn’t.” He was fairly confident in his statement, but that didn’t stop the prickle of nervousness at the base of his spine.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have to, I would just need to release you into the jungle and wait for one of my more… enthusiastic recruits to finish the job. You have a lot of enemies, and I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say over half the galaxy want your head on a stick. How far do you think you’d get without my ordering your safety?”</p><p>Hux grimaced at the image, although he supposed it was too much to hope for a less grisly end if it came to that. “I have information. If you kill me, the intel will be lost.”</p><p>“Information that we can’t trust without knowing your motivations. Tell me, what’s in it for you, and don’t try to tell me you’re doing it out of the goodness of your heart. I think we both know you’re only here to save your own skin.” She leant forward, her hands clasped together on the table between them. “You’re not a nice man, Armitage.”</p><p>“You don’t know me.”</p><p>“I know you’re personally responsible for the deaths of billions of innocent people.”</p><p>Now it was Hux’s turn to sit up. He could already tell there was little point in sugar-coating his motives. She’d see through any lie he spun, he was sure of it. “And what of the billions of lives in the outer rim, one those planets not deemed important enough for aid from the New Republic? Just because they die slowly instead of in one fell swoop, does that make them any less worthy? This is war, General. Casualties happen.” </p><p>Organa pursed her lips but remained impassive. “You show very little remorse for someone intent on receiving our mercy.”</p><p>“I don’t want your mercy.” He winced internally. That wasn’t what you said to the person who held your life in their hand. He couldn’t remember, in that moment, why he’d ever thought this would be a good idea. “Or rather, I do. But I also want… I want to right wrongs. Kylo Ren, and Snoke before him, corrupted the First Order, turned it into a pissing contest between Force-sensitives. It’s no longer the Order I was taught to hold above all else. I can help the Resistance put an end to the Supreme Leader’s inept rule and order can be restored to the galaxy.”</p><p>“And just how do you propose to restore order to the galaxy?</p><p>“I couldn’t begin to imagine. That would be best left to the politicians, the rulers. I’m— I was just a general. I commanded troops, not planets.”</p><p>Organa shook her head, a reluctant smile playing at her lips. “As much as it pains me to say, you do yourself a disservice. I’m sure you’re more than capable of making a power grab.”</p><p>“I assure you that’s not my intention. I only want to… to help.” That word didn’t get any easier to say.</p><p>Organa sighed and leaned back in the chair, looking every bit her age for a second before she rallied. Hux steeled himself for another mind intrusion, but nothing happened. Instead, she muttered something into her comm and a few moments later someone appeared with a plate of sweetcakes and fruit, and then proceeded to serve the tea. </p><p>“I have a feeling we’re going to be here a while,” Organa said by way of explanation. </p><p>Hux sighed and settled in for a lengthy interrogation.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Hux didn’t get back to his cell for hours, sore from the uncomfortable chair, throat dry from the talking. He’d provided a little good faith intel—the coordinates for an out of the way outpost that the First Order occasionally used to traffic goods from Republic-controlled space. It was nothing that would greatly hinder Ren, but it would hopefully prove his word. It hadn’t, however, been enough to stop Leia from questioning him for the next several hours, asking him variations on the same few questions as if she thought she would somehow be able to trip him up or trick information from him. </p><p>He’d found a fresh bowl of water for washing on the small desk as well as another plate of basic food, but there was still no sign of Millicent and her absence immediately sapped any appetite. He felt drained, more than anything else, exhausted by his fluctuating emotions. Thankfully there’d been no other weirdness during the interrogation, but he’d been on edge the whole time, expecting something to happen. He gave himself a quick wash, downed the cup of blue milk, and collapsed onto the bunk. </p><p>He was dozing when a loud banging startled him awake. The door. Whoever it was knocked again.</p><p>“Enter,” he shouted, running a hand through his hair and making a futile attempt to smooth down his shirt. It was beyond saving, though. And the smell… Hux grimaced.</p><p>The door swung open and there was Poe, with Millicent cradled in his arms. He stepped into the room and tossed a bag at Hux’s feet.</p><p> “Don’t ask me why, but I feel kinda sorry for you,” Poe said.</p><p>“I don’t need or want your pity.” Hux longed to reach out and grab Millicent from Poe’s unworthy arms, but he didn’t want to seem too eager.</p><p>“’Course you don’t, bud. But you’ll take these things, right?” He scritched Millicent under her chin and Hux was appalled when the traitorous strumpet stretched out her lithe body and purred. “This little lady’s got quite the fan club out there already. I think a few of the folks here are missing their pets from back home.”</p><p>“Give her back,” Hux bit out. </p><p>Poe laughed and handed her over. When Hux finally had her in his arms, he felt a degree of tension slip away. As much as he didn’t approve of Millicent whoring herself for attention, he was glad she was unharmed and seemed to be happy. It alleviated some of the guilt he had accumulated from shoving her in a bag. And she’d clearly forgiven him if the head butts to his chin were any measure.</p><p>“So, anyway, I brought you the bag of junk you had on your shuttle—minus the blaster, for obvious reasons—and some clean clothes. Had to guess at your size though.” He chucked what Hux had assumed to be a bundle of rags at him.</p><p>“Thank you, Dameron,” Hux said as he inspected the off-white shirt and dark brown trousers. The fabric was rough and looked suspiciously like something Dameron would wear himself… were these Dameron’s cast-offs? His lip curled involuntarily at the thought of the cheap cloth touching his body, but then he caught another whiff of his own shirt. They’d do, he supposed. At least while he rinsed the grime out of his own clothes.</p><p>“It’s Poe. And you’re welcome.”</p><p>Hux rolled his eyes.</p><p>Poe eventually left him to it and Hux breathed a sigh of relief at finally being alone.</p><p>It was weird being here, a prisoner, but not quite. He would have fully understood if they’d thrown him in an empty cell with nothing but a ratty blanket and some nutrient paste once every cycle. But, despite the basic nature of the provisions he’d been provided with and the fact the whole place could do with a deep clean, it wasn’t entirely horrible. He had a bed, a desk, a chair. They let him wash. They brought him food, clothes. They’d even let him keep his cat. The door was locked, and he didn’t have the freedom to walk around, but that was likely for the best right now given the glares he’d received on the few occasions he’d been outside his cell. So, it could be a lot worse. He wondered how long it would be before everything fell apart.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Art by <a href="https://ellalba.tumblr.com/">Ellalba</a>!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands to his ears, praying for it to end. Everywhere was blood and fire and pain and hatred and fear. So much fear. Snoke was somewhere. Kylo could feel his presence without trying. He sprinted towards the tree line, an attempt to escape, but it was futile. He could never escape; he’d had this nightmare too many times to hope it would end in any other way. He used to run, or fight, or hide, but Snoke always got him in the end; punished him for his weakness. Sometimes Rey would be there too, laughing at him, calling him weak, pathetic, useless. Her and Snoke joining forces to kill him. His parents standing to one side, doing nothing to help no matter how much he screamed and begged. Luke, cheering Rey on, encouraging her to cut him, to put him down, to save everyone from the pain he would cause.</p><p>It shouldn’t have been like this. It didn’t have to end this way.</p><p>The images wavered as if viewed through heat. Kylo felt something tugging on his consciousness. Something warm, welcoming. Hopeful. He followed the call, allowing his mind to flow towards the sensation; enjoying the gentle pressure against his mind; letting it control his direction. It felt familiar, somehow. Comforting. Like his mother leading him by the hand when he was still young enough that she was his entire world.</p><p>The remains of the Jedi Academy fell away. Fire turned to smoke and ash, filling his vision. When it cleared, he was back on the Finalizer, overlooking one of the hangars. People were going about their work. No one acknowledged him. He frowned. It was odd for his sleeping mind to visit something so mundane upon him and for a second he questioned whether he was even asleep.</p><p>He looked around to gather his bearings and spotted Hux beside him. Kylo studied his features; the stern set of his jaw, the little divot between his eyebrows, lips pursed. He looked tense, angry, and Kylo relaxed a little. He might not be able to locate whichever backwater planet Hux had hidden himself away in, but in his dreams, Hux could always be found. </p><p>Hux’s disdain was familiar enough to be something of a comfort with everything that was happening at the moment. Not that Kylo missed him—not at all. It was more that he’d grown used to Hux’s presence in his life and hadn’t been prepared for how it would feel to have it suddenly wrenched away. </p><p>What he wouldn’t give to have the real Hux beside him now. Maybe then, Kylo could get a break from the endless meetings and petty squabbles between high command.</p><p>A sudden commotion drew his attention to the hangar mouth. It was his command shuttle, battle-damaged and barely functional, limping into the hangar.</p><p>“What’s going on?” he asked dream-Hux. </p><p>Hux tore his eyes from the scene unfolding before them and turned a quizzical gaze on Kylo. “I’m watching you arrive back from your failed mission. What does it look like?”</p><p>“I’ve not seen this before.”</p><p>“What do you mean? You were here. You <i>are</i> here, see.” Hux gestured at the hangar floor where Kylo could see another version of himself leave the smoking hulk of the shuttle. He hadn’t realised there were so many people around at the time, nor how much damage his arrival had caused. The report had crossed his path at some point, but he’d not paid it any attention. “I’m not sure why you’re both here and there, though,” Hux continued, looking slightly puzzled.</p><p>“No, I’m not sure either.” Kylo frowned as he watched the scene unfold. It was like watching one of the holodramas Han and Chewie used to pretend they didn’t watch when he was a child rather than an event he’d experienced himself. He remembered it happening, but the point of view was off. And the fact that he was watching himself was… disturbing. He’d relived this event during sleep several times, so it wasn’t unusual for it to come up, but he’d never seen it from this perspective. Was this the Force offering clues to find Hux? </p><p>He tried to stay focused on Hux, but his attention kept snapping to what Hux was focused on, as if he were the central figure of the dream, rather than Kylo. <i>Was</i> Hux the central figure? Kylo watched his other self climbing the stairs, a strange sense of unease taking hold as he drew closer. It mirrored the unsettled feelings he’d been having for the last week; the sense that something wasn’t quite right. </p><p>“Is this your dream?” he asked, finally managing to drag his gaze from the other Kylo. Hux stared at him, incredulous.</p><p>“I really don’t have time for your inane questions, Ren. I’m a little busy.” </p><p>As Hux spoke, his face started to turn red, the tendons in his neck standing out. A rasping breath turned into a strangled gurgle. Kylo watched him, confused. Was he—? He was. Hux was choking. Why—? Oh. This was what had happened, he realised, feeling foolish. He stepped back, suddenly aware of how close he’d gotten. He could see the face of his other self now; his scar, his faintly furrowed brows. His expression was calm, but he remembered well the storm that had raged inside him during this moment; his suspicion and anger tangled up with disbelief and then something resembling hurt as he discovered the truth. It was easy to conjure up those feelings again; the betrayal was only a week old and still fresh enough to sting. He felt his lips curl into a smile as he watched his other self tear Hux’s mind apart. Good, he thought, as Hux’s body went taut, pain etched into each vein. He deserved it. </p><p>But… </p><p>But it didn’t feel good to watch. It wasn’t the victorious subjugation he’d remembered. Hux looked so helpless, his slender body weak. All he had was his quick mind, his sharp words, the respect of his subordinates, and Kylo was taking it all from him like it was nothing. It should have felt more… satisfying to see Hux brought low, humiliated, but it mostly served to make Kylo look unhinged. They were so close, too. He hadn’t really thought about it at the time, but other-him was pressed against Hux from chest to knee. He could feel the rise and fall of his chest, could feel the warmth of his body even though their many layers of clothes, could feel the laboured breaths fanning across his cheek. He— </p><p>Kylo pulled back, a sharp gasp lodged in his throat. Was that what Hux had felt or what he himself remembered? He wanted to ask, but Hux looked in no state to reply. The light was fading too, the image warping and flickering, becoming hazy and indistinct as Hux lost consciousness. It made Kylo’s head spin and he closed his eyes against the growing dizziness. </p><p>When he opened them again, he found himself outside. A damp breeze ruffled his hair and whipped his cowl into his face. He swept it off his head and used a hand to scrape the hair off his face as he closed his eyes and took in a deep, shuddering breath. Feeling a little more centred, he looked around. A manicured lawn stretched towards a large, sprawling stone building. The lower sections were almost aggressively blocky and utilitarian. Rows of windows put it at three storeys high, but there were a few turret-like additions, and sharply angled, tiled roofs that contained all the unnecessary architectural flourishes missing from the lower half. Bushes dotted with colourful flowers lined the gravel pathways that criss-crossed the lawn, and grand old trees reached up to meet a sky heavy with grey clouds. Kylo screwed up his face as he tried to remember if he’d ever been here before.</p><p>He wasn’t alone—people dotted the lawn, walking or sitting in small groups—but none of them paid him any attention. A handful of people appeared to be engaged in some kind of game which involved a lot of running and shouting and chasing after a ball. They looked young and all wore matching outfits so it wasn’t a great leap to assume this must be some kind of school. It didn’t solve the problem of why he was here, though nor where Hux was. </p><p>When he turned, he found a vast lake, the waters slate grey like the sky. Despite the overcast sky, it wasn’t cold, and there were several older children playing near to the shore, shouting and splashing, their overjoyed shrieks filling the air.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” </p><p>Kylo startled at the question. He’d assumed no one could see him. He looked down to find an oddly familiar red-headed boy peering up at him curiously. “I’m looking for someone,” he replied.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Oh.” The boy pouted and his slender brows drew together. “I thought you might be here for me.” He turned his gaze to the lake. He couldn’t be more than six or seven, but he already seemed wary and closed-off, the intelligent light in his eyes tempered with caution. He hugged his knees to his chest, seemingly resigned to sitting by himself. </p><p>As Kylo considered what to say, an object—a borgleball, Kylo realised—whizzed past him and smacked straight into the side of the boy’s face, leaving an angry red mark. There was a beat of silence as his delicate features creased in pain, and then his expression hardened.</p><p>“I was hoping you wouldn’t see this,” he muttered, and it took a split second for Kylo to realise the words had been directed at him.</p><p>“What do you mean? What was that about?” Kylo looked toward the direction the projectile had come from and saw a group of children approaching, laughing amongst themselves. They didn’t appear to see him.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter. It’s the way it always goes,” the boy replied. Resigned. “Just…stay out of it.” The words were light but his eyes were pleading. Kylo wanted to ask more, but was interrupted by a shout from one of the children.</p><p>“Nice catch, Barmy,” sneered the child at the front of the pack.</p><p>“Yeah, your stupid face is as red as your hair now,” laughed another. </p><p>The red-headed boy stood up, clutching the borgleball to his chest as he approached them. “Shut up.”</p><p>“What are you gonna do? Cry to daddy?”</p><p>“No, I— Shut <i>up!”</i> He stamped his foot, lower lip jutting out.</p><p>Kylo watched, unable to tear his eyes away as the children encircled the red-headed boy, snatching the borgleball off him and pushing him to the ground. Kylo could only hear snatches of the taunts, but he could tell their words were meant to hurt rather than be a jest between friends, and the surge of protectiveness he felt towards the boy surprised him. It was the uncomfortable reminder of experiences from his own youth, he thought. He’d always been a skinny, awkward kid, not filling out until later in youth but by that time people were afraid of him and had a whole host of new reasons to pick on him or exclude him.</p><p>The boy picked himself off the ground and managed to break out of the group. He kept his gaze on the ground as he walked hurriedly back to Kylo, scrubbing at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and then righting his uniform as best he could. He sat on the grass in the same position as before, knees hugged tightly to his chest, chin resting on top. His youthful face was flushed pink with anger, but other than that, he kept a tight rein on his emotions, with only the faintest sniffle escaping. Kylo felt a pang of sympathy, but knew that voicing it would only embarrass the child, so instead he sat quietly on the ground beside him. </p><p>He should be looking for Hux, or trying to figure out what this dream was trying to tell him, but the sight of the boy’s pain, his refusal to cower even when outnumbered had done something to Kylo’s chest. It struck too close to home; that constant longing to be like everyone else, to be accepted and allowed to join in; of wishing every day to wake up different so that maybe someone would like him. He’d thought that weakness erased, but evidently something of that past pain had lingered.</p><p>“What happened just now with those kids? Are they always like that?” Kylo asked after the silence dragged on. He couldn’t spend all his time sat here if he wanted to figure out what was going on but something prevented him from leaving.</p><p>The boy nodded, but didn’t look up. “No one here likes me much. It’s fine. I’m used to it. I don’t care.” </p><p>“That’s—”</p><p>“I don’t need your pity.” The boy shook his head and turned his gaze on Kylo, eyes far older, far harder than his years. “It’s better to be by myself anyway. And besides, they get what’s coming to them in the end.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>The boy nodded. “A series of unfortunate accidents,” he said with a grin. “Jalen, the boy with curly hair, gets shot in the eye at the firing range. Dies instantly. Alys falls off a cliff and breaks her neck a week after graduation. Hestt only loses a leg—another blaster misfire—but it ends his career and he falls into spice addiction. And his brother goes awol while on planet-side exercises and is found days later lacking vital internal organs. So they win for now, but I get the last laugh.”</p><p>“Oh.” There wasn’t much more he could think to say. Hearing someone so young speak of those things so casually was a little jarring, but he couldn’t help but be impressed by his apparent ruthlessness. “This is happens in the future? In your future, I mean?”</p><p>“Of course. This is just a dream, Ren. You have to know that by now.”</p><p>“I do. I’m just not sure whose dream I’m in.”</p><p>“It’s mine, clearly.”</p><p>“Yes, but—”</p><p>“Who are you looking for?”</p><p>“What?” The sudden subject change took him by surprise. “Wait. How do you know my name? Do you recognise me?”  </p><p>“Of course I recognise you. You’re the bane of my existence. I can’t even be free from you when I’m fast asleep halfway across the galaxy. Why are you here? What are you doing inside my head?”</p><p>“I… I’m not sure. I—” He looked at the boy again. Really looked. Red hair, green eyes, painfully thin. But there was a determination there that he recognised. A resilience that Kylo hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of in his adult form… “Hux? You’re so small. This is your dream?”</p><p>The little boy scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Well done, Ren. As always, I’m astounded by your skills of observation.”</p><p>The words sounded strange in a child’s voice, but they were so very Hux, Kylo had to suppress a smile. How had it taken him so long to realise? “Hey. You’re the one whose head we’re in. It’s not like I’m here on purpose. I don’t even know what’s happening.” </p><p> “That’s reassuring.” Hux made a frustrated noise in his throat. “I hate that you’re seeing me like this. Is there any purpose to this visit aside from my humiliation?” Kylo realised the timbre of Hux’s voice had lowered, and when he looked to his side he found the child had been replaced by <i>his</i> Hux, complete with greatcoat draped over his shoulders. He looked immaculate, as usual, even seated on the grass, although his hair was unencumbered by pomade for a change, a few loose strands waving in the light breeze. “At least it’s not real. It’s only my subconscious torturing me.” The words muttered more to himself than to Kylo.</p><p>“Not real?”</p><p>“It’s a dream, isn’t it. For whatever reason—my endless torment, no doubt—my subconscious has concocted this… this version of you with your… your…” He gestured loosely at Kylo as he searched for the words. “…your hair and scar and… and uncommonly large hands. It’s nothing but another ‘fuck you’ to Armitage Hux from the universe because life isn’t crapping on me enough whilst I’m awake.”</p><p>He frowned at his hands, flexing them in his lap. <i>Uncommonly large?</i> When had Hux been looking at his hands? They weren’t that big. He’d look weird if he had delicate hands like Hux—he probably didn’t even have calluses; probably hadn’t done a day of manual work in his life. </p><p>He was going to insist he was real, but this was the most he and Hux had ever spoken and while disconcerting, Kylo found he kind of liked it. He wanted to hear more. Maybe he could even find out where the wily general was hiding himself.</p><p>“I don’t know why you’re <i>here,</i> though,” Hux continued. “In this particular moment, I mean. It made sense that you’d be there to choke me, but now? Was my humiliation not complete earlier? Must you bear witness to my painful childhood memories too?”</p><p>Kylo shrugged. “It’s your dream. You brought me here. Maybe your head wants you to tell me all your secrets.”</p><p>“Yes, but why? You’ll be sat there sipping a cocktail while my father beats seven shades of shit out of me, next thing.”</p><p>“I don’t drink.”</p><p>Hux snorted. “Kriff. Smoking a joint then. Pleasuring yourself. Whatever the fuck you do to relax. I was merely making the point that you appear to enjoy witnessing my pain.” He dragged a hand through his hair and Kylo tracked the movement. He’d never seen it without product before. Hux was always perfectly put together, hair included, no matter the hour, so it was odd to see the strands hanging loose. It softened his harsher edges.  Made him look younger.</p><p>He tore his attention away from Hux’s hair for long enough to process what he’d said. “You think I enjoy witnessing your pain?” While that might have been true at one point and was, admittedly, still partially correct, Kylo couldn’t say he’d enjoyed what he’d seen so far. Was it true, what he’d said about his father? Kylo had a long list of issues with his own parents, but at least they’d never been physically abusive. </p><p>Kylo’s hair whipped around his face. The weather had turned while his attention had been on Hux and looking around, Kylo noticed the grounds had emptied. The place had a wilder look to it now too, more unkempt, as if the absence of students had meant it could relax and let go of some of its stiff formality. At their backs, the school still loomed large and threatening; windows dark and lifeless. It didn’t feel like a place filled with many happy memories, and Kylo wasn’t surprised Hux didn’t acknowledge it, keeping his eyes on a point across the lake. He found himself unable to maintain attention on it too, as if Hux’s subconscious was trying to shield it from him.</p><p>He watched Hux out of the corner of his eye. It was like being given a glimpse of the real Hux, the man behind the abrasive attitude and severe First Order uniform. His hair, bright and free from product, danced in the wind, and there was a hint of ginger stubble on his jaw. He seemed unconcerned by the gathering storm clouds so Kylo decided to take his lead from him—it was his dream after all. </p><p>“Why did you do it? Why did you betray the First Order?” Kylo blurted. He’d considered trying a more subtle line of questioning, but as Hux thought this was all in his head, he’d decided there was no need to be delicate.</p><p>Hux looked at him curiously. “You don’t know?”</p><p>“Humour me.”</p><p>Hux sighed. It seemed for a moment that he’d say nothing but then, “I didn’t betray the First Order.” Kylo opened his mouth to object. “Well, obviously, I did but… it was you. You drove me to it.”</p><p>“You really hate me that much?” He winced when he heard how whiny his voice sounded. </p><p>“I don’t just hate you, Ren, I despise you. Ever since Snoke landed me with you, my life has been one headache after another. You ruin everything you touch. You’re single-handedly crippling the First Order because of personal drama and piss-poor leadership and I couldn’t stand there and watch you tear apart everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve!” </p><p>Kylo stared at him, struggling to understand. It seemed vindictive even for Hux. “So you thought you’d destroy the First Order yourself?”</p><p>Hux laughed. “Not the Order. <i>You.</i> I wanted you gone, Ren. Off my ship, out of my life. Gone.” He shook his head, a sardonic smile gracing his lips as he glanced at Kylo out of the corner of his eye. “Clearly, it didn’t go as planned.”</p><p>Kylo didn’t share his amusement. “And now what? You’re going to come back with an army to finish me off?”</p><p>Hux stared blankly at him, stoking Kylo’s irritation.</p><p>“No, come on Hux. What’s the plan? Did you know, the rumour is that you’ve defected to the Resistance?”</p><p>“Hardly. I doubt half of them could even tell a bantha’s arse from its face. And their base is—” Hux snapped his mouth shut. “Nevermind.”</p><p>“You <i>are</i> with them!” The betrayal stung anew. Kylo stood up and paced, needing to move or do something. Anything. He reached for his lightsaber but dropped his hand before unhooking it from his belt.  </p><p>“That’s irrelevant.”</p><p>“How is it irrelevant? I want to know if you’re amassing an army to try and take me down, and now I know you’re friendly with the Resistance—”</p><p>“Friendly? They’ve got me in a cell! They’ve turned my cat against me!”</p><p>“Your cat?” Kylo tugged a hand through his hair. Fucking Hux. “So, where are you, then? What planet is their base on? What sector are you in?”</p><p>“Why so interested?” Hux narrowed his eyes. “What’s it to you where I am? You’re not real.” </p><p>“If I’m not real, then what’s the harm in telling me?”</p><p>“If you’re not real, then why do you care so much?” Hux snarled.</p><p>A knocking sound echoed across the grounds and Hux flinched. Kylo turned to see where the noise had come from and realised they were now in what appeared to be a dorm room. Moonlight shone through the two large triple arch windows, casting slivers of silvery light across the beds. There were eight in total, including the one he was sat on, four on either side of the room, all identically made with regimented corners and not a wrinkle in sight. They were the only ones in the room, Hux sitting on one of the beds closest to the window. Kylo was surprised to find him looking younger again, although not as small as before. He was in his teens at least, judging by the pimples and the unfamiliarity with which he moved his limbs. A toe poked out of the end of a black sock and his pyjamas hung off his slim frame, but even with that, he still exuded a kind of cold intensity. </p><p>“Oh, this is kriffing fantastic,” Hux said, his voice flat.</p><p>“What? Is this another dream?”</p><p>“It’s nothing. Piss off, won’t you.” He closed his eyes and started muttering under his breath, hugging his knees more tightly to his chest.</p><p>A knock resonated through the room.</p><p>“Hux? Who’s at the door?”</p><p>“Oh good. You’re still here,” he said, ignoring Kylo’s question.</p><p>Another knock. Hux was starting to look a little panicked. He tugged his sleeves over his hands, his eyes darting around the room. He looked hunted. It was making Kylo nervous. Was this a school? Was Hux still getting bullied by his peers or was it something more sinister? He hadn’t seemed afraid before, but there was real fear in his eyes now. Kylo tried to reach out and skim across the surface of his mind to get some clue, but it didn’t work. Whatever had projected him into Hux’s mind had also rendered his ability with Force useless.</p><p>Hux’s fear was contagious. “What is it? What are you so scared of?”</p><p>“Nothing.” He glanced at the door. “Look, haven’t you got somewhere better to be?”</p><p>“I don’t even know why I’m here—” </p><p>The knock this time was followed by a voice, muffled and distant. “Hux?”</p><p>“Well, that’s too bad because I would really appreciate it if you could fuck off right about now.”</p><p>The room started to fade away. Hux stood up from the bed and started pacing, eyes constantly flicking to the door. He muttered to himself, arms wrapped around his chest. There was another muffled shout, someone calling his name, but it sounded closer than before, gaining substance as the world around them disappeared. </p><p>As the door to the dorm opened, Kylo felt a pressure in his mind like he was being squeezed down really small and then everything shattered as he was yanked backwards.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Hux sat bolt upright in his bed, chest heaving as he sucked in breath after breath. He felt like he’d run the length of the Finalizer. His shirt clung damply to his skin and his hands were trembling as he clutched the thin blanket over his thighs. That nightmare. He <i>hated</i> that nightmare. It always struck when he was weakest, making him feel like he was back there again, alone, afraid. The reason why he struggled to sleep without a locked door and a knife under his pillow. </p><p>His thoughts raced, a jumbled mess, as he tried to sort out where he was, where he’d been, what had woken him. Everything was wrong. He shook his head. Dragged a hand over his mouth, wincing at the scratch of stubble against his fingers. </p><p>The remnants of the nightmare slithered back into the dark recesses of his mind, leaving a thick oily residue across his thoughts. It had been nothing too out of the ordinary, the usual cycle of past torments, only… He rubbed his head to dislodge the feeling of someone else being in there. Ren. It had felt so real. So much more vivid than his usual dreams about him. Usually he was a surly figure in the background, or an aggressive black shadow destroying everything. Very occasionally he’d stand over Hux, ordering him to do things Hux wouldn’t dare give thought to while awake. Never did they have conversations. </p><p>He cringed as he remembered flashes of what Ren had witnessed. But it hadn’t been him, had it? He groaned, hating how little he trusted his own mind. Ren must have done something to him. Broken him in some unseen way. Was this going to be his life now? Ren both plaguing his waking thoughts and dominating his dreams?</p><p>A little meep from Millicent halted him mid-spiral and he reached out to her, starting to relax when his hand met warm, soft fur. </p><p>He’d barely caught his breath when the door swung open.</p><p>“Rise and shine, Buttercup!” Poe’s voice was too loud and too bright for whatever hour of the morning it was. On the Finalizer, Hux had been used to rising early in the cycle, no matter what time he went to bed, but only a week out of that routine and his body clock shot. </p><p>Hux scowled. He still felt shaky from his nightmare and the last thing he needed was Poe sniffing around. He just wanted to be left alone to process what was happening to him. </p><p>“Kriff. <i>Off!</i>” He groaned, dragging his hands over his face and then pressing his fingers into his eye sockets until galaxies flashed behind his eyelids. When he eventually pulled his hands away and opened his eyes, Poe was still standing there, an odd look on his face. </p><p>“Are you done?” Poe asked.</p><p>As if sensing the growing tension in the room—or perhaps just keen to sniff out breakfast—Millicent jumped off the bed and darted out of the open door, hissing at Poe’s obnoxious BB unit on the way past. </p><p>“Millie, wait—!” Hux called after her as she disappeared. “Now look what you’ve done.”</p><p>Poe waved a hand dismissively. “She'll be fine, don’t worry. Rose—d’you know Rose? She was on the Falcon when we picked you up—was sneaking her treats all yesterday so she's probably gone back for more.”</p><p>“Treats? If Millicent ends up overweight—”</p><p>“Then there'll just be more of her to love.” </p><p>Hux wanted to punch Poe in his smug face. “Oh gods. This isn’t happening. I’m not stuck in this cell with you. Please put that blaster to use and end my pain.”</p><p>“Now, now, Red. Leia would never let me get away with that, as much as it would please me to take you up on the offer.”</p><p>“Piss off. You’re far too perky for someone who’s just admitted they want to kill me. What’s your angle, Dameron? What do you have to gain from being nice to me?”</p><p>“Do I need an angle? Maybe I’m just a nice guy.”</p><p>Hux glared at him.</p><p>“Alright, fine, but you’ve gotta answer some questions for me too.” </p><p>Poe stepped into the room, letting the door swing shut. It was a weird mix of old-fashioned hinges with an electronic locking mechanism that Hux could take apart in his sleep with the right screwdriver. It looked as cobbled together as everything else he’d seen on the base. Poe hovered for a moment, apparently unwilling to sit on the bed where Hux was, but with limited options. He settled for leaning against the desk, unfazed by Hux’s judgement.</p><p>Hux wanted to say no out of spite—the refusal was on the tip of his tongue—but he bit it back and acquiesced with an eye roll and a put upon sigh to make sure Dameron knew he wasn’t happy about it. “Fine. You’ve got a deal. But you answer my question first.” He swung his legs off the bed, relieved he’d chosen to sleep fully clothed. “Why are you <i>being nice?</i>”</p><p>“Because, like I said,” Poe grinned, “I’m not a terrible person. Because I believe everyone deserves a chance to make up for their mistakes—even truly horrific ones. Because whatever your reasons for turning traitor, your information has helped us a lot, and I think right now, you’re our best bet for getting rid of the First Order once and for all. And if we can turn you into a decent human being along the way? A happy bonus.”</p><p>Hux sneered. He wasn’t about to get into a discussion about subjectivism. “And why would I help you take down the First Order?”</p><p>“Because you’re selfish, and right now, working with us to take down the First Order is your best chance for survival. They’ve already put a bounty on your head, did you know that? The only way you’ll be free of them is if you help us take them down.”</p><p>“There’s a bounty on me? You know that for a fact?”</p><p>Poe nodded. “That’s the word from one of our sources. Rumor is that Kylo Ren wants you returned alive so he can personally see to your death. So, seems to me you’ve got a pretty big reason to help us out.”</p><p>“Kylo Ren couldn’t find his over-sized nose on his stupid face, I’ve nothing to fear from him.”</p><p>Poe’s eyes widened and he barked out a laugh. “No love lost between you two, then.”</p><p>“He’s a cretin,” Hux muttered, unable to stop his lip curling at the thought of Ren raging through the Finalizer, demanding his head. How many resources was he wasting on the attempt to find him? Kriff. Would there be anything left for Hux to take back?</p><p>“Is that why you did it?” Poe asked, amusement in his eyes. “You got mad at your boss and decided to overthrow the whole regime?”</p><p>Hux spluttered. “I—! He is not—! I didn’t— My <i>boss?”</i> </p><p>“Touched a nerve, did I?”</p><p>“No you did not. I’m just flabbergasted at your ignorance. Kylo Ren may have claimed the title of Supreme Leader but he was never truly in control. High Command runs the First Order. Kylo Ren is nothing but a flashy figurehead.”</p><p>“Well, go on then. Why d’you do it? Why turn traitor?”</p><p>Hux sighed. His head was starting to throb again and he still felt unsettled from the nightmare. “Because I was bored and it gave me something to do. Obviously, I never intended to get caught.” </p><p>“You’re a dick, Hux.”</p><p>“And you’re annoying. If you’re done with your little interrogation, then can I get a moment’s peace to piss and have a wash before someone drags me to the official one?”</p><p>Poe rolled his eyes. He chucked something towards him, and Hux—reaction time dulled from lack of sleep—only just managed to catch it before it hit him in the chest. A datapad. Hux turned it over in his hands. It was a lot more worn than the ones he was used to, but—he swiped the screen and it lit up. A plain interface, no flashy logo, just a handful of file icons. He quirked a questioning eyebrow at Poe. </p><p>“Don’t get too excited, it’s not networked or anything, but there are a bunch of books stored in the memory, so, you know. Knock yourself out. Can’t have our esteemed guest getting too bored.”</p><p>“I look forward to seeing whatever drivel passes for literature with you lot.”</p><p>“If you’re gonna be an ass about it, you can give it back.” He held out his hand and Hux’s fingers tightened around the device. “Yeah, thought so. See you later, Hux. Behave yourself.”</p><p>Hux scoffed and glared at his back as he left, but he found he couldn’t quite summon the level of resentment as he’d originally held for the man. Poe was a smug git, but for whatever reason, he’d decided to be superficially friendly—Hux could definitely find a way to use this to his advantage. </p><p>* * *</p><p>The holoprojections flickered in and out of focus, making shadows jump and waver in time with the dull throb behind his eyes. Kylo stifled a yawn as General Halth concluded her summary of the status of the Star Destroyer she commanded—they needed more troopers, more credits, an updated menu in cafeteria C. The usual mundanities. </p><p>He looked up as he felt all eyes in the room on him and he realised Halth had stopped talking. He muttered a few words of acknowledgement, wondering how Hux used to put up with this all the time. He’d even seemed to enjoy it. Perhaps, Kylo thought, he could question Hux about the best way to deal with these meetings next time he was in his head. Three times now, he’d found himself witnessing Hux’s nightmares; twice while meditating and once while sleeping, and never when he’d intentionally tried to seek Hux out. It was perplexing, but it was also currently the least of his Hux-based problems. </p><p>He knew everyone in the meeting had the same question on their minds; the same person. Their thoughts were so strong he could practically taste the words on the air. Who would be the first to utter it though? Not Peavey. He looked like someone had his balls in a vice. Pryde, then. He was never one to hold his tongue. </p><p>“Are there any leads on the location of the traitor Hux?” Pryde asked. Kylo smiled grimly.</p><p>The question was directed to the room but Kylo, along with everyone at the table, knew he was the intended target.</p><p>“I’ve been unable to locate him so far. He’s cunning, you all know that. He’ll not make this easy for us.”</p><p>“Surely, with all the resources of the First Order—”</p><p>“Do you doubt my diligence?” Kylo growled. Several officers flinched at the raised tone.</p><p>“Not at all, Supreme Leader. I merely wonder how Hux is able to remain hidden. He must have support—why else would he flee?—and thus we must be wary of an attack.”</p><p>Murmurs of agreement buzzed around the room, and Kylo didn’t miss the looks that passed between some officers. He was losing them—he didn’t need to read minds to see that. The longer Hux’s location and motivations remained unknown, the weaker Kylo would seem. Kylo knew he was only tolerated by most of them because they knew he could kill them with a flick of his wrist. Their loyalty was thinning now, though.  </p><p>“I will know if he draws close,” Kylo said.</p><p>“If he turns up with a large fleet behind him, then that may be too late.”</p><p>Kylo’s anger flared. Open disagreement meant things were worse than he thought. These people would have nothing without him and yet now they questioned every last thing. He never should have revealed his face. He knew they only saw the man half their age now even when he was masked. He wanted to end each and every one of them.</p><p> “My Knights are searching the galaxy. They will find him, I have no doubt. Armitage Hux poses no threat to us.”  </p><p>Kylo could feel their continued dissent rumbling beneath the surface, but the reminder that he remained master of the Knights of Ren seemed to have placated them and quieted any mutinous thoughts for the time being. Pryde and a few others seethed in their seats, but Kylo said nothing further, refusing to be drawn into another debate about the traitor. </p><p>The meeting moved on and Kylo let it, his thoughts drifting to Hux again, sat beside a lake, looking as close to peace as he’d ever seen him. As much as he tried to ignore it, there was a small part of him that hoped his Knights would be unsuccessful.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Art by <a href="https://ellalba.tumblr.com/">Ellalba</a>!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hux turned from the wall of shower heads, wiping the moisture from his eyes. Most of the other cadets had showered and changed back into their uniforms. Hux, however, liked to wait around until after the rush. He wasn’t bothered by the lukewarm water—it was preferable to offering himself up to whatever bullying games the other cadets felt like engaging in. The latest fun seemed to revolve around mocking his underdeveloped body. </p><p>Most of the boys already had a thatch of wiry hair between their legs and some even had the first sprinkling of hair on their chests. Their bodies were less gawky, less uncoordinated as muscle definition set in, not to mention the strides in development in other, more intimate places too. Hux had always been slight, and his body seemed to be resisting puberty like a stubborn Gill-goat refusing to be dragged to market. The acne had, of course, made an appearance, but the defining features of manhood—the important ones, anyway (as marked by every boy in his cohort)—had so far been reluctant to make an appearance. As such, showers were nothing more than a soggy torture. The alpha males, those blessed by thick hair and deep voices though still middling teenagers themselves, grunted and aped their way through their ablutions, professing greater knowledge of worldly matters and appointed themselves judge and jury on matters of worth. Hux, with his willowy frame, ginger hair (that refused to grow anywhere but his head), and cracked voice hadn’t been safe from ridicule for a while, and saw no end to it anytime soon. </p><p>He grabbed his threadbare towel from the hook and scrubbed the water off his hair. He had only recently had it cut to regulation length so it was little more than ginger fuzz, no longer than the thickness of his finger on the top and barely visible on the sides. It was shorter than he liked, but it kept him from being singled out for a uniform violation. Some of the boys grew their hair longer than regulation, but the only ones who got away with it were those favoured by the instructors. Hux had long learned that he didn’t number among the favoured few, and strict adherence to the rules was the best way to avoid a month of latrine duty or lashes. Father dear couldn’t be seen to show favouritism, especially not to his late-developing, bastard son.</p><p>Hux pulled the towel from his head, giving his underarms and between his legs a cursory pat. On some level, he knew this was a dream. He’d had to relive it so many times, experienced so many variations on the same plot. So he knew, even as he searched for his clothes on the bench, and then below it, that he wouldn’t find them anywhere in the changing room. His cheeks burned as he heard the sniggers of the few boys still left in the room but he refused to acknowledge them. He searched for any spare clothes that might have been left, forgotten by others—a sweat stained t-shirt, a ragged pair of briefs, anything—but his bullies were thorough. They’d even emptied the lost property box. </p><p>Resigned, Hux secured the towel around his waist and prepared for a fraught dash to the dorms. If caught, he’d most certainly face ten lashes. <i>“Nudity is not permitted anywhere outside of the changing rooms or refreshers.”</i> He’d be late to his Imperial History class thanks to having to get a fresh uniform from the dorm, but tardiness was preferable to turning up to class in only a towel. He knew it was Moke Jalen’s doing. The ringleader. His lead tormentor since they shared their first classes as snot-nosed brats. </p><p>He opened the door and peered both ways down the corridor, ready to make a dash for it, but before he could step out, someone called out to him.</p><p>“Hux?” A smooth, deep timbre that he knew belonged to none of the boys remaining in the changing room. It was instantly familiar, though, and Hux’s heart sank. He was here <i>again?</i> Why? It had been almost two weeks. Hux was tired. He wanted his head back. Wanted some peace in his sleep—or better still, no dreams.</p><p>He clutched his towel and spun around to face the voice’s owner. “Ren.” In his juvenile voice it came out as more of a squeak rather than the dry, resigned tone he’d been aiming for. “Why won’t you leave me alone?” he hissed. Horrifyingly, his eyes started to burn and he blinked furiously until the sensation passed. </p><p>Why was his brain determined to deepen his shame by throwing Ren at him over and over? Every kriffing night, without fail, there he’d be, there to witness Hux’s most hated memories; events he’d thought long buried. He’d tried pretending he wasn’t there, tried telling him to fuck off, tried outright asking him what he was playing at, but nothing had made any difference; he still turned up night after night, looking exactly as Hux remembered. </p><p>There was something different about him tonight, though, Hux thought as he studied him out of the corner of his eye. He looked tired. “We need to talk about what’s happening,” Ren said, as if this was any sort of conversation to be having in a humid changing room to the background of laughing teenage boys.</p><p>Hux huffed. “What’s happening is that I need to get back to my dorm to find some clothes. We—” he gestured between the two of them, “—don’t need to talk about anything.”</p><p>“Hux—”</p><p>“Oh, fuck <i>off.</i>” He’d turned to shield his scrawny chest from Ren, but now spun around to face him and he didn’t miss the way Ren’s eyes flicked down. Pervert. No, <i>paedophile</i>—he’d had to have been around fourteen when this happened. What was Ren thinking? </p><p>He glanced down to check that the right bits were covered up and that there were no gaps in the regrettably thin towel and only then noticed that he was back in his adult body. There wasn’t that much difference, but his stomach was a little softer, his muscles slightly more defined, and there was hair—not a lot, but enough. He straightened. He’d have preferred to have been dressed, but he wasn’t ashamed of his adult body as he had been of his teenage body. He’d learned to appreciate its slender lines, and knew other people did. He hadn’t realised Ren would be one of those people, but then, it wasn’t Ren, was it? Did that mean he <i>wanted</i> Ren to look at him like that? He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. It didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want to waste more time than necessary standing around in a towel.</p><p>He opened the door and after another quick check, trotted down the corridor, one hand clamped tightly around the towel. </p><p>“So, why’d they steal your clothes?”</p><p>Hux cursed under his breath. Of course Ren was still there to witness his barefoot, semi-naked dash to the dorms. Would any other horrors from his past appear? In previous iterations of this nightmare, he’d been caught by everyone from his father, his cohort, colleagues and superiors from various stages of his career, and on more horrific occasions, the entirety of First Order High Command. They normally didn’t show up until a bit later in the dream, but then, Ren always had to be different</p><p>“I don’t know, Ren,” he replied, weary. “It’s a form of hazing, I suppose. Pick on the weak. Or perhaps they were just terrible people.” He continued to creep along the corridor, ears pricked for the sound of approaching footsteps, but all was eerily silent. Until Ren opened his mouth again.</p><p>“Was it always like this? Every time I’ve seen you, something bad is happening. Don’t you have any good memories? Do you ever dream about, I don’t know, fucking or something?” When Hux turned to glare at Ren, silhouetted against the overcast sky, his eyes looked almost black, darkness shrouding his face. </p><p>“You think that I choose to revisit these moments rather than more fond memories? Do you honestly think I would be standing here in a towel in front of you of all people, if I had any choice in the matter?”</p><p>Ren had at least the sense to look abashed. He took a step back. “I—”</p><p>“If the next word out of your mouth is ‘sorry’, I will separate your testicles from your body with my bare hands,” Hux snapped. He turned, not giving Ren a chance to reply. Maybe he’d finally take the hint and fuck off.</p><p>The hallway felt endless, blank doorways lining both sides, each one holding the potential for further humiliation. Tension thrummed through Hux’s body, Ren’s heavy boot steps echoing the thud of his heart. Corner after corner revealed more of the same. Hux’s pace increased with his panic, bare feet slapping on the hard floor. </p><p>“Do you even know where you’re going?” Ren asked some time later, his voice unbearably loud in the quiet.</p><p>Hux puffed out a breath. “No one’s forcing you to follow me. Feel free to bugger off anytime. In fact, I positively encourage it.”</p><p>“Actually, that’s what we need to talk about—”</p><p>A series of electronic pips rang out through the corridor, the sound instantly filling Hux with dread. End of first period. Which meant— </p><p>All at once the doors either side of them opened and students spilled out. Some he recognised, some he didn’t. The same faces over and over. He tightened his grip on his towel with one hand and vainly tried to cover his chest with the other, as if someone seeing his nipples was the worst thing that could happen. He tried to make himself smaller, more unobtrusive and pushed his way through the thronging bodies. He was so close to his dorm. He had to be. There were hands everyone, pawing at his body, slapping his arse, grabbing his towel, pinching his skin. Laughter filled his ears. Jeers. Insults about his build, his face, his hair, his mother. He wanted to cover his ears to block out the taunts, but he couldn’t risk letting go of the towel. His gorge was rising. He couldn’t see anything but sneering faces from his past, pressing in on him from all sides. Grabbing. Touching. He needed air, could barely breathe, he— </p><p>“In here.” Ren’s presence engulfed him, his body a shield. He cut a swathe through the baying crowd and Hux allowed himself to be herded through the nearest door. </p><p>The door slid shut behind them and the sudden silence made Hux feel like his ears had popped. He leaned against the wall, eyes clenched shut as he tried to catch his breath. When he opened them a few minutes later, Ren was stood before him, holding out a blanket. </p><p>He accepted it with a weak smile and wrapped it around his shoulders. The fabric was scratchy against his skin and smelled slightly musty. Familiar. When he took in his surroundings a few moments later, he realised why. He was in his old dorm. </p><p>Hux tugged the blanket more securely around him and sat on the nearest bed.</p><p>“Did that really happen? I mean, when you were at school?” Ren asked, eyeing the door warily as if it might burst open at any minute. There were no sounds from beyond it though.</p><p>Hux snorted, rubbed his hands over his face. The idiot almost sounded concerned. “Why? Does it matter?”</p><p>“I guess not, but... I don’t know. Sorry, I guess.”</p><p>“What did I tell you about apologising? Besides, it’s hardly the worst thing that you’ve seen happen to me recently.” Hus sighed and dropped his hands to his lap. “And my mind might have exaggerated the number of spectators for dramatic effect.”</p><p>Ren’s lips twitched into something almost resembling a smile. “Still. It was pretty shitty. Your childhood sucked.”</p><p>“It seems we’re finally in agreement about something.”</p><p>“Hah. It was bound to happen eventually. Don’t get used to it, though.”</p><p>An oddly comfortable silence fell between them. The lack of other sounds, the usual hubbub Hux would have expected to hear from the academy during the day, made it feel like they were the only two left in the galaxy. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he appreciated the brief reprieve from past trauma.</p><p>He looked up when he heard a creak from the bed beside his. Ren had sat on the edge, hunched forward, elbows on his knees. He seemed to be deep in thought so Hux gave in to his curiosity and let his gaze idly track over Ren’s body. He traced the width of Ren’s shoulders, marvelling at how solid he looked, how broad; the tight black tunic hiding nothing. His biceps looked as thick as Hux’s thighs. It was unnecessary, really, how muscled he was when he could use the Force to cow his enemies. A shiver ran down his spine as remembered the sensation of being crowded toward the door by him, the way he’d seemed to curl around Hux protectively. It hadn’t been entirely unpleasant.</p><p>His eyes eventually settled on Ren’s hands, clasped between his knees. They were almost theatrically over-sized, much like the rest of him; his fingers large and blunt, palms big enough to crush a skull. Hux wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen them uncovered before, certainly not up close, at least. They made Hux’s hands look like a child’s in comparison. </p><p>“Why’d you let them do it?” </p><p>Hux looked up and found Ren watching him, eyes intense. How long had he been looking? Had he seen Hux staring? Kriff. </p><p>“I didn’t <i>let</i> them,” Hux hissed, suddenly self-conscious. “Do you think I enjoyed being humiliated? Honestly, Ren, use your fucking brain for once in your life.” </p><p>“I just can’t imagine you letting anyone get away with what they did to you,” Ren muttered. “Doesn’t seem like you.”</p><p>Hux rolled his eyes at Ren’s ridiculous pout. He was such a child. “What makes you think they get away with it? Any of them?” He shook his head, exasperated. “This is so pointless. You’re not even here. I’m arguing with myself.”</p><p>“About that.” Ren straightened; pursed his lips. “The thing I’ve been trying to tell you— That I should have said before, but I wasn’t sure, so... Not that I know, really, but we should talk about it because it clearly involves us both so—”</p><p>“Spit it out, Ren, for kriff’s sake.” Renewed irritation was rapidly washing away his earlier calm. “What are you going on about?” </p><p>“I’m real. I’m not something you’ve created in your head. It’s me.”</p><p>Hux stared at him, blinking slowly as he processed the words. He understood them all individually, but in this context it was nonsense. “Excuse me?”</p><p>“Look, I don’t know why, but whenever I sleep, or when I meditate, if you’re asleep too, it’s like your mind calls to me. Drags me in. And then I find myself in your dreams.”</p><p>“I can assure you that no part of my mind wants you anywhere near it. I’ve never heard anything quite so blatantly ridiculous. Whatever this is, it’s not <i>real.</i> You’re not here.”</p><p>“Aren’t I?”</p><p>“Ren. I’m mid-nightmare, reliving a past torment. And you—the real you—is tucked up safe on <i>my</i> ship, no doubt terrorising some poor admin clerk. This isn’t real. It can’t be.”</p><p>“No—” He let out a frustrated growl. “—I know that the dream isn’t real. But I am. Surely you’ve noticed that I’m never part of your nightmares. No one ever sees me.”</p><p>“That’s hardly conclusive proof of your existence. Quite the opposite, in fact. ‘No one can see me therefore I exist.’ Do you ever hear yourself speak?” Hux sighed heavily. Ren wasn’t real. He couldn’t be real. Because if he was real, it would mean Ren had seen parts of his past that he’d wanted to remain buried forever.</p><p>“Fine, then, if I’m not me, if I’m something you’ve conjured, what are you doing thinking of me every night? Is it so normal for you to dream about me that often, that it doesn’t strike you as odd?”</p><p>Hux opened his mouth. Closed it again. He could feel his cheeks turning an ugly blotchy red and he glared at the far wall, willing this particular nightmare over. </p><p>“Why would I lie about this, Hux? What do I have to gain?”</p><p>“I don’t know!” He thought back over Ren’s appearances in his head, recalled the strange emotions he’d been feeling recently that felt unconnected to his state of mind. He slumped back against the wall at the head of the bed, suddenly drained. “It can’t be you. It can’t.” </p><p>Hux exhaled and scrubbed his hands over his face. It was one thing to imagine all the nightmares Ren had been witness to—those could easily be explained away as exaggeration, but what of the other dreams he had sometimes indulged in? The fantasies that he barely dared recall. It had been a little while, but…</p><p>“How long?” Hux kept his eyes on his lap, knuckles white as he gripped the blanket still wrapped around him. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“It’s a simple enough question, Ren. Assuming you’re real—which you’re not—but assuming you are, how long has this been going on? How long have you been violating my mind?”</p><p>“I’m not doing it on purpose!” He stood up, fists clenching and unclenching at his side. “And I don’t know how long. I’ve only noticed it since you left.”</p><p>The vice around Hux’s chest loosened a touch. He won’t have seen anything too incriminating but… could this be the cause of his headaches? He’d assumed they were as a result of Ren’s meddling in his mind, but what if he’d done something more sinister? “Kriffing wonderful. You use the Force to break open my mind and trip a mystical booby trap, and now I have to put up with you popping in whenever you feel like it?”</p><p>Ren shrugged. “It could have been the interrogation that did it. I don’t know. I’m searching for information about Force-bonds but—”</p><p>“<i>Force-bonds?</i> You <i>bonded</i> us?” Hux rubbed his chest feeling the vice tighten again.</p><p>“We don’t know it was me!”</p><p>“Of course it was you! You were in there messing around. You’re the one who karked up my head and now <i>you’re</i> throwing blame around? <i>Kriff.”</i></p><p>Ren’s eye twitched. “You gave me no choice. If you hadn’t betrayed the Order—”</p><p>“You, Ren. I betrayed you, specifically.” Hux breathed through his rage. He wanted to yell but it felt pointless. “Fuck. I don’t want you in here. This isn’t happening. You’ve damaged my head somehow, but this isn’t— You’re not here.”</p><p>“Fine. Don’t believe me. I mean, I’m just trying to figure out what’s happened, but you know, don’t help or anything. I actually enjoy being forced to sit through your pitiful memories. I like having front row seats to your kriffing daddy issues every time I close my eyes.” Ren got up, marched to the door. “You know, maybe if you weren’t such an ass, you would have had some friends.”  </p><p>“Get out,” Hux spat, his body trembling.</p><p>“Gladly.” Ren punched the door release and it slid open. His image flickered, and then faded to nothing as he stepped through.</p><p>Hux scoffed. What a… He pinched the bridge of his nose and screwed his eyes shut. If he’d been awake, he’d expect to feel the beginnings of a headache, but thankfully he was still dreaming. None of this was real. Ren hadn’t really been here.</p><p> When he opened his eyes again he found himself standing at the front of his Imperial History class, still naked except for a towel. Laughter erupted from his classmates as they pointed and stared and jeered. At the back stood his father, a look of disappointment etched across his ruddy face.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Hux swiped through the list of books on the datapad. It was almost all Republic tripe, but there had been an interesting essay on the development of primitive societies on the edges of the known galaxy. If he ignored the Republic grandstanding, it was quite informative. He’d read it a couple of times already, even going as far as highlighting certain passages for more in-depth study. There was only so much thinly veiled Republic propaganda he could suffer through, though. He yawned, selecting something called the ‘Maid and the Mandalorian’ which promised to be mind-numbing enough as to prevent all thought, and absently reached over to pet Millicent. She’d quickly settled into life on the base and spent more time lying in the sun or chasing all the small scurrying creatures than she did with Hux—not that he blamed her. At least she still curled up with him at night. </p><p>His days had become a monotonous slog since his arrival almost three weeks earlier. Time measured only by the appearance of trays of food courtesy of that guard, Deyma, who looked like he’d happily set Hux on fire, or his alternate, an older woman called Morda who was almost pleasant to him. Leia had clearly decided they’d wrung all the information they could out of him and so the lengthy interrogations that used to give his days some purpose had largely tapered off. They still called on him to go over specific details or ask technical questions about First Order tech, but with all the information he’d been intentionally keeping to himself he couldn’t prove himself too useful. He had given up all he was going to give up, and it was up to them now how they used the information. It was a balancing act, and he was running out of counters. He still needed enough of the First Order intact that there would be something for him to go back to, after all. </p><p>He thought he’d get some peace from Ren after their argument. That he’d disappear into whatever hole he’d crawled out of. He’d thought—foolishly, he now realised—that whatever was broken in his head, the thing that kept him dreaming about Ren, would have resolved itself and he’d finally wake up rested and headache-free in the morning. But Ren hadn’t left him alone. He’d shown up just as before. The only difference was that Hux had gone back to pretending he didn’t exist while Ren sulked in the corner. </p><p>It had gotten to the point where he was constantly looking over his shoulder while awake too, expecting Ren to be looming in the shadows somewhere. He needed Ren gone. Both from his head and the First Order.</p><p>He couldn’t stop turning over what Ren had said about them being bonded. It was so unbelievably ridiculous. But then… he’d thought the Force was nothing but a myth before he’d met Ren and witnessed his abilities first hand. It couldn’t be true though. If it was true, he’d have to accept that Ren knew intimate details about his life—things he’d shared with nobody else.</p><p>A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. Poe, if Hux guessed correctly—his distinctive knock gave him away every time. He quickly closed ‘The Maid and the Mandalorian’, tucking the datapad in his pocket and admitted Poe entry. Everyone else either barged in, or gave a cursory knock before entering regardless, but Poe tended to wait to be called in these days. It was minor as far as shows of respect went, but Hux appreciated the effort. He was well aware he’d done little to earn it.</p><p>Poe had been off-planet for a few days and Hux had had to deal with the uncomfortable knowledge that, as annoying as the man was, he’d missed his visits. He had become something of a regular visitor of late; a development that was, perhaps, more odd than the constant presence of Kylo Ren in his dreams. Hux’d had very little contact with anyone on the Resistance base, other than the couple of guards who were on rotation to watch him, and the generals who interrogated him. But Poe seemed to come to see him just to...chat. It was unsettling, but a welcome distraction from the monotony his daily life had become. No one, literally no one, was happy that he was here. But Poe kept turning up anyway.</p><p>“You realise that the second I get my hands on a blaster, the first thing I’m going to do is put a bolt through your skull,” Hux said, by way of greeting. “Assuming it’s not so thick that it’s impervious to blaster fire, that is.”</p><p>Millicent was already winding her body around Poe’s legs like the strumpet she was. </p><p>“Promises, promises, Hux.” Poe scooped Millicent off the floor and nuzzled into her fur.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Hux was actually glad of Poe’s presence that morning. He had something to bring up with him since Deyma had ignored his previous requests. </p><p>“I need new blankets,” he said, after Poe had delivered his pointless greeting. “And a new mattress. Or a bedroll at a pinch.”</p><p>“Do I want to know why…?”</p><p>Hux grimaced. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Dameron. It’s this damp-ridden hole you’ve locked me in. Everything smells like wet bantha. It’s horrendous. I’ve even tried rinsing items in that pitiful excuse for a wash basin, but nothing ever dries! At this rate, I won’t have to worry about being executed by the Republic or Ren, because the fungus taking root in my lungs will finish me off first.”</p><p>“Okay, okay. I get it. Jeez. I’ll see what I can do. I can’t promise it’ll be any better, though. It’s as humid as a wookie’s armpit here, if you hadn’t noticed. The damp gets into everything—the technicians are working around the clock to moisture proof everything, but we’ve still got, like, five things breaking down every cycle, minimum.”</p><p>“Trust the Resistance to pick somewhere so inhospitable,” Hux scoffed.</p><p>Poe shot him an incredulous look, quirked an eyebrow. “Perhaps if you hadn’t blown up our other bases, the accommodation would be more to your liking, General.”</p><p>“Perhaps if you’d kept in line and didn’t get in our way, we wouldn’t have had to.”</p><p>For a minute, Hux thought he might have pushed Poe too far. He tensed, waiting for a fist or blaster, but then Poe just laughed. A breathy, disbelieving laugh.</p><p>“You’re such an asshole,” he said, shaking his head. </p><p>“That’s hardly news. So, why don’t you recruit new technicians if you’re that set on staying here?”</p><p>“It’s not as easy as that—we don’t just kidnap people from their families and, I dunno, beat them into submission—</p><p>“We don’t <i>beat</i> them. We teach them—”</p><p>“Whatever, man. So yeah, we either gotta train people up, which would take them off other essential duties or hope one of our contacts knows someone who wants to work in a war zone for peanuts. Or…” He trailed off and looked at Hux, a curious expression on his face. </p><p>Hux watched him, wary. He shouldn’t be encouraging this almost friendly exchange but…“Or what?”</p><p>Poe scratched at his chin. “You’re good at tech, right? You designed Starkiller. You’ve gotta at least be a little handy with a screwdriver.”</p><p>Understanding dawned and Hux shook his head. “Oh, no. No. Look elsewhere for your menial labour.”</p><p>“Why not? It’s just a bit of moisture-proofing for the electronics, and some general maintenance. It might even win you a few friends.”</p><p>“I don’t need friends.”</p><p>“But you do need for people around here to be less suspicious of you; to not want to gut you on sight.”</p><p>“I don’t think a bit of moisture-proofing is going to erase my past from your peoples’ minds.”</p><p>“Fine. Do this and I’ll find you the least damp-smelling bedding I can.”</p><p>Hux pursed his lips. Poe drove a hard bargain, and he wasn’t even sure why he was resisting so much. He was bored out of his mind in his cell—if this could lead to him getting a little more freedom…</p><p>“Look, if you don’t want to do it, no big deal. The work’ll get done eventually, I guess. Wouldn’t want you to have to compromise on principles and help the good guys.” </p><p>Hux sighed. He knew Poe hadn’t been totally joking with his comment. They both knew Hux’s loyalty wasn’t with the Resistance, and he didn’t doubt most of the people on the base knew this too. Only a few of those he’d met had been openly hostile, but he knew there would be more who were better at keeping their feelings hidden. He was so very bored, though, and he likely wasn’t in any more danger of meeting with an ‘accident’ in the open than he was in his cell. “Sure. I suppose I can help. As long as no one shivs me while I’m out there.”</p><p>“Great! And that’s not gonna happen.” He patted Hux on the shoulder, an irritatingly familiar gesture, and grimaced as he turned to leave. “Probably. Come on, kid.”</p><p>“Now?” </p><p>“Sure! That tech won’t moisture-proof itself.”</p><p>Kriff, but the man was insufferable. Hux gaped at his retreating form for a second before remembering himself and following.</p><p>Poe led him past the CR90, heading out into the main base. He could feel the stares as soon as they rounded the large vessel. He squinted as they headed into the daylight; he’d not been outside since arriving at this sweaty arse crack of a base, all the interrogations having taken place in the CR90. The sun warmed his skin, a pleasant heat after the closeness of the cave despite the humidity. Sweat quickly prickled at his brow, but there was a cool breeze that felt close to erotic against his skin.</p><p>He stopped in a patch of dappled shade, his head tilted toward the sky. The sounds of a busy base filled the air; the shouts and clangs and clatters and the dull roar of ships taking off or returning. But underneath were sounds less familiar to him—the screech of jungle creatures (Poe had assured him they’d encountered nothing larger than Millicent so far, so he wasn’t too worried), the whisper of leaves, and an empty sort of sound he couldn’t put a name to but which made him hyper aware that he was missing the reassuringly finite mass of a Star Destroyer around him.</p><p>Something zapped his ankles and he yelped, immediately imagining something with far too many legs and teeth, but looking down he saw only BB8, tool arm extended. If a BB unit could laugh, that’s what it was doing. Hux sent a few choice invectives in its direction and glared at Poe. Who was grinning.</p><p>“You coming?” Poe asked, as if Hux had been holding him up. He wasn’t even that far ahead.</p><p>Hux rolled his eyes and caught with him in a few strides.</p><p>“You don’t get planet-side much, I take it.”</p><p>“To be honest, I’m not generally a fan of it. It’s dirty. And there are insects. And there’s all this weather. I will never complain about temperature controlled spaces being too chilly again.”</p><p>“Yeah, certainly looked like you hated it just now...”</p><p>“Oh, piss off.” He could have added a scathing comment or two but he held his tongue. It was the only way to deal with someone like Poe who, he’d discovered, always needed the last word. Much like Ren. Why was he surrounded by such irritating people?</p><p>He kept his eyes to himself as much as possible as he followed Poe, holding his head high and trying to project an air of no-fucks-given, but it was hard not to feel self-conscious. He knew he looked a state with his lank hair, straggly not-quite-beard, and ill-fitting, sweat-stained clothes. </p><p>The small team of technicians were either headquartered in an out-of-the-way part of the base, or Poe was leading him the long way round just for kicks. He took them through dense jungle, up a rocky slope, past a communal mess area, the barracks, a handful of small clearings where the shuttles were docked and people lounged around in the shadows beneath their crafts or tinkered with engines. </p><p>Hux was about to say something about utilising a soldier’s downtime to maximise efficiency when he caught sight of a tightening in Poe’s posture. It instantly set him on edge and he scanned the scene for trouble. </p><p>Poe cursed under his breath, then muttered, “Not now, Finn.” </p><p>Hux didn’t immediately recognise anyone, but then he saw the man striding towards him and something clicked. He knew that face. He’d scrutinised his personnel file until his eyes burned, searching for any clue, any reason why. </p><p>Anger, bitter and old, surged. “FN-2187.”</p><p>“It’s Finn, now,” Poe said under his breath. “Don’t you remember? He was there when I rescued you from the rendezvous point. So, behave or we’re gonna fall out pretty quick.”</p><p>“Fall out? We never fell <i>in,</i>” Hux protested, ignoring the gap in his memory. Everything between crashing the Xi-class and waking up in his cell was a blur. “I barely tolerate you,” he added, watching the traitor stride closer. He didn’t like the look this <i>Finn</i> was giving him. Hux stood his ground, though, throwing back his shoulders and readying himself for the punch he was certain was coming.</p><p>“What’s he doing out here? Is this where you keep disappearing off to?” Finn’s anger was, surprisingly, directed at Poe, not at him. Hux relaxed a touch, his interest piqued. Were things not all sunshine and roses here?</p><p>“I’m just keeping him busy, asked him to help out the technicians. You know those guys need every pair of hands they can get.” BB8 trilled. “See? BB8’s keeping an eye on him too. Nothing to worry about.”</p><p>Finn’s expression was mutinous. “He shouldn’t be running about this place though. What if he steals a ship or blows something up?”</p><p>“Come on, he’s harmless. What’s he gonna do?”</p><p>“Hey—!” Hux glared at the pair of them but they didn’t appear to notice.</p><p>“He’s not doing this to be kind. He’s got an agenda.”</p><p>“Doesn’t mean we can’t let him be useful.” </p><p><i>“Useful.”</i> Finn scoffed. “I would have just locked him up and let him rot.”</p><p>Hux watched with a kind of morbid curiosity as the argument escalated. There was definitely something there… Lover’s tiff, perhaps? He was so busy imagining the sort of things the pair of them might get up to together, he was completely caught off guard by the appearance of a girl.</p><p>“Are you in contact with Ben?” she asked. It was the scavenger, Rey, he realised after a split-second. Ren’s nemesis. Or was she his girlfriend? Sister…?  Hux had never been able to work the connection out, even after all this time. All he knew was that Ren had wasted an inordinate amount of resources trying to track her and Skywalker down and almost destroyed the First Order in the process. </p><p>“Excuse me?” As he looked at her, a pressure built in at the base of his skull, hot, like a ball of molten rock, growing, pulsing. Her face wavered. Then the background; everything shifting at different frequencies. Different speeds. He felt his gorge rise and clenched his eyes shut. Focused on his breathing. He heard a deep voice, not Poe or that traitor; a familiar voice, though. Ren? He was… Hux felt rage coursing through him; saw the hissing red glow of a lightsaber. He pressed his palms into his eyes. Was that happening here? </p><p>His mind felt yanked in a hundred different directions, and he wanted to scream, to tear something apart to—</p><p>He gasped at the touch of a cool hand on his shoulder. When he opened his eyes, he found he was on his knees, Rey staring down at him, her brow furrowed. Finn and Poe were not far behind, both staring at him like he’d grown an extra appendage.</p><p>“You see him. Ben Solo. I…” Rey stared at him, oddly intense, but also like she wasn’t seeing him at all.  Her touch to his mind was much softer than Ren’s, more elegant, like silk running over his thoughts as opposed to Ren’s sackcloth and jabbing fingers approach. He attempted to guard his mind the way he’d learned to do during his years spent navigating around Ren’s moods. The twitch of her eyebrows was the only sign he’d had any success. “He’s all over you. His presence.” She drew back, frowning slightly.</p><p>“I don’t know what you mean,” he snapped, feeling inordinately defensive. She was talking bollocks, and reacting to it would only lend it credence. </p><p>“You’re talking to Kylo Ren?” Poe asked accusingly. He turned to Rey. “Is he Force sensitive too?”</p><p>“No, I don’t— No, it’s not that. There’s something there, though. It’s… I don’t know. Cloudy. Undefined.”</p><p>“Would you keep the kriff out of my head? It was bad enough I had to suffer Ren poking around in there. I’ve had more than my fill of you lot thinking my head is some sort of playground.”</p><p>“Wait,” Finn said, drawing Rey’s attention with a gentle touch to her arm. “You can read his mind? Why didn’t they have you interrogate him?”</p><p>“Oh, please,” Hux spluttered. “Just invite yourselves in. Why should I get a say? It’s only <i>my</i> kriffing head.”</p><p>They ignored him.</p><p>“I can’t read his mind, not like you’re thinking. And even if I could it’s not right to do that anyway.” She shook her head, face pinched. “But… he’s important. To Ben, to the Force. I can’t figure it out. But there’s a …connection there. I think this is why Leia is keeping him here. She can sense it too.”</p><p>“Sense what? What the kriff are you on about?” Hux thought uncomfortably about Ren’s assertion that he was real. Perhaps, Hux thought, he’d go as far as to admit that there was something going on with… with the Force, but it couldn’t really be Ren in his head… could it?</p><p>“I should speak to Leia and then meditate on it,” Rey said to the group, then to Hux: “Tell Ben I said hi. I know he’s not completely lost to us, even if he thinks he is.”</p><p>She walked away with Finn trotting behind her, throwing angry glares over his shoulder.</p><p>“What was that about?” Poe asked once they were alone. “Are you and Ben… You know.”</p><p>“No. I don’t know. What are you saying?”</p><p>“You know, fucking.”</p><p>Hux near choked on his tongue in his hurry to refute such a ridiculously baseless statement.</p><p>“Hey, no need to get your panties in a bunch. Rey said his presence was all over you, and you’re so mad at him. Like, ex-boyfriend mad. It wasn’t exactly a big leap.”</p><p>“Well, sorry to disabuse you of your fantasies, but there is nothing between me and Ren, other than him being the bane of my existence while I was in the Order, and somehow still managing it now.”</p><p>“Right, sure. Nothing going on.” Poe laughed. Hux wanted to punch him in his smug face. Ren and him? Honestly. “Come on, the tech guys are just up here. Try not to make me look like an ass. I put my neck on the line for you.”</p><p>Hux scowled. “That’s your problem.” </p><p>*</p><p>When Hux returned to his cell later that day, he was tired, sore, and sweaty, his shirt smeared with oil and grease, ingrained dirt all over his hands. But at least he’d been too busy to dwell on Ren. Now that he was alone except for Millicent’s softly purring form, he couldn’t stop the thoughts from swirling; couldn’t shake what Rey had said. Nor what Poe had said afterwards. </p><p>He hated the thought that he and Ren were connected in any way, but it was getting harder and harder to convince himself that Ren’s presence in his dreams was his own doing, that it was his own mind creating this version of Ren to sulk and argue and mope in his head every night. </p><p>*</p><p>That night, Hux’s mind forced him to relive the time he got dragged through the bridge while his officers were watching, over and over, his mind creating ever more creative ways for Snoke to punish his failures. But his attention wasn’t on that. His attention was on Ren, who stood silently in the corner the whole time, watching him back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Art by <a href="https://ellalba.tumblr.com/">Ellalba</a>!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo felt the now familiar tug of Hux’s mind as he slipped into meditation, and relaxed into it, letting it pull him across the galaxy. A feather on the breeze. The sensation more a comfort than a worry now. </p>
<p>He still hadn’t worked out what exactly was happening, but had long since stopped trying to fight it or control it in any way. He knew he should be using the connection to seek information about Hux and the Resistance—it was the perfect in, and it would show those doubters in High Command that he was a powerful and capable leader but… but it was becoming harder and harder to remember this when he was there, watching Hux suffer through whatever his brain was tormenting him with. They hadn’t spoken since their argument, but even so, lurking in the periphery of Hux’s dreams, watching him grow increasingly irritated by Kylo’s presence, was fast becoming the highlight of Kylo’s day. He could forget about the politics and in-fighting and backstabbing and constant demands on his time for a short while and just be himself. </p>
<p>It definitely wasn’t because he liked being around Hux.</p>
<p>He opened his eyes, ready to drink in whatever nightmare Hux was suffering through, only there was nothing. Kylo thought for a minute he’d fallen into some kind of dreamless abyss. He blinked once. Twice. And then again. Nothing changed. It was as dark with them open as closed. He held up his hand and waved it in front of his face. He couldn’t see it, but from the faint waft of air, he determined that it at least existed; that he wasn’t just a disembodied consciousness stuck between minds. A small relief.</p>
<p>Slowly, Kylo realised he could pick out details around him; small blinking lights, like the kind that might be found on a control panel; a low rumbling sound; faint vibrations in the floor. It all pointed to him being on a starship. But which one? Where was he? </p>
<p>A ragged breath sounded from somewhere in the darkness. He wasn’t alone. “Hux?”</p>
<p>There was a sharp inhale, a sniff, the rustle of fabric and then: “Ren? For fuck’s sake. Piss off. What happened to sulking quietly in the corner?”</p>
<p>“What’s going on? Are you… sleeping? Why is it so dark?”</p>
<p>“<i>Am I sleeping?</i> What sort of question is that? Of course I’m sleeping. This is a dream. They tend to happen when a person sleeps. Although most people aren’t unfortunate enough to have their dreams invaded by the same idiot every single night.”</p>
<p>It took a couple of seconds—Kylo regretting ever opening his mouth—but then the meaning of Hux’s words filtered through. “Wait, you believe I’m me then? You accept that I’m here?” </p>
<p>Hux sighed, a deeply irritated noise. “I don’t know. We’re never going to see each other face to face again, so what does it matter?” he replied. “Besides, there's no other reason I can think of for you to be in my head night after night. It would be just like you to do something like this just to piss me off.”</p>
<p>“No other reason? Really?” Kylo was glad that Hux couldn’t see his smirk—it probably would have earned him a slap—but he couldn’t help it. Talking to Hux was like piloting an out-of-control shuttle, never being sure what would happen next but knowing it would likely end in a fiery explosion. It lit his blood on fire like nothing else.</p>
<p>“No. Other. Reason,” Hux stated. “So, are we really, what was it you said… bonded?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, something like that.”</p>
<p>“And do you know how to fix it?”</p>
<p>“I’m working on it.”</p>
<p>“Of course you are,” Hux said, voice dripping sarcasm. </p>
<p>A strained silence fell between them. It was still too dark to see much of anything, but Kylo could make out Hux on the floor, huddled against the bulkhead. They appeared to be in a small cargo hold, or perhaps a large closet, judging by the crate-shaped shadows.</p>
<p>“So, are you going to tell me where we are? And why it’s so karking dark?”</p>
<p>A snorted breath. “It’s nothing. Just a joke between cadets. They used to lock me in here sometimes so I’d get in trouble for being tardy,” Hux admitted.</p>
<p>“This really happened?” Kylo felt a surge of anger on Hux’s behalf. </p>
<p>“Of course it happened. Why make up new events to torture myself with when I have such a wealth of childhood trauma to draw from?”</p>
<p>“How old were you when this happened?”</p>
<p>“This particular time? I don’t know. Ten? Eleven maybe? What does it matter? It's in the past. It’s irrelevant.” </p>
<p>“You were ten? Fuck. Kids are such assholes.”</p>
<p>Hux let out an amused huff. “I thought you’d be on their side. Didn’t you say I was an asshole the other day?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but, that’s different.” He still felt a little guilty for saying that to Hux. He knew what it was like to grow up without friends, although in his case everyone had been too scared to outright bully him—their chosen method of humiliation had been exclusion. “And… and I shouldn’t have said that.”</p>
<p>“Going soft on me, Ren?”</p>
<p>“Never.” He grinned, but any further response was cut off by a burst of laughter echoing through the vents; then name calling, banging, threats. </p>
<p>“They used to tell me they’d put toxic gas in the vents or lock me in with a Kouhun if I told anyone what they did,” Hux continued. “I know now that would have been ridiculous—where would some snot-nosed cadets find a Kouhun?—but I was ten, I had no friends and a father who believed this sort of thing built character so I didn’t know any better.” He snorted, a bitter, huffed laugh. “I was going to say ‘I still have nightmares about being locked in the dark even now’ but I suppose that’s self-evident.”</p>
<p>Kylo wasn’t sure what to say. He felt like he should say something comforting, but he was fairly sure Hux would gouge his eyes out if he did. “Like I said. Assholes.”</p>
<p>Hux made a frustrated noise in his throat. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. It’s bad enough you’re seeing it. You probably think I’m pathetic. The traitor, Armitage Hux, riddled with anxiety and forced to relive childhood trauma nightly. I’d thought I was past all this, but your meddling stirred everything up again.”</p>
<p>“You’re not the only one who had a shitty childhood, Hux.”</p>
<p>“Enlighten me then, Supreme Leader. In what way did the son of Leia Organa and Rebel hero Han Solo have a ‘shitty’ childhood?”</p>
<p>“Just… I know. I know what it’s like to be different, to be singled out, to not to live up to anyone's expectations.” He paused, feeling uncomfortably exposed. “To… to fail at being the son, the jedi, the <i>person</i> they hoped you’d to be. To be rejected. I know, okay?”</p>
<p>Hux was quiet for a moment. “You’ve ruined my life in so many ways, you realise,” he said eventually, completely ignoring Kylo’s confession.</p>
<p>“Me?” Kylo glared at him. Or, at the Hux-shaped mass on the floor. He thought they’d been getting somewhere. “What about you? You betrayed the First Order! You left me here.” </p>
<p>“Ah, so this is my punishment. You can’t kill me outright since you can’t find me, so you’ll slowly turn me mad instead. Excellent.”</p>
<p>“You still think I’m doing this intentionally? Hux. I don’t want to kill you.” Kylo was surprised to find he meant it. “Not anymore, anyway.”</p>
<p>“Ha.” Kylo’s eyes were used enough to the dark that he could just about make out Hux dropping his head into his hands. He looked so small and helpless. “For the record, I still hate this,” he said, his voice muffled. </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“This,” Hux said, opening his hands and gesturing vaguely at everything despite the darkness. “You being here, invading my mind, knowing things about me. It’s unfair. If this is a bond or connection or what have you, why don’t I get to see your trauma? Why are we only in my head?”</p>
<p>Kylo shrugged. He didn’t have a kriffing clue, but he didn’t think Hux would accept that answer. “Maybe because you’re not Force sensitive?” It was his best guess. He decided to omit that he’d intentionally put more effort into guarding his thoughts since he’d realised they were connected. “Have you tried not letting me see things?”</p>
<p>“Excuse me?”</p>
<p>“As far as I know, although I can be here, I can’t control what we see. It’s your head, it would make sense that you’re in control of what we see.”</p>
<p>“So you’re saying that on some level, I want you seeing all my lowest points?”</p>
<p>“No, but you should be able to change what happens once you realise it’s happening. Like now. We’re in the dark because you were having a dream, nightmare, whatever. And you were locked in this room, but you know you’re here now so why can’t you just open the door?”</p>
<p>They both looked at the door. Kylo could feel Hux’s doubt rolling off him in waves, but he got up anyway, cautiously laying his hand on the release panel. “If this is a trick…” Hux muttered, but there was no heat in his voice. He sounded hopeful. </p>
<p>For a few seconds nothing happened, but then the door clicked, hissing as it slowly slid open.</p>
<p>Kylo squinted against the light suddenly flooding into the small room. He opened his mouth to gloat—he hadn’t actually been sure it would work—but the words caught in his throat when he saw how tired Hux looked. He was used to seeing him unkempt now; unshaven, hair loose, clothes ragged, but the off-white open-necked shirt he was wearing today looked several sizes too large and with the sleeves rolled up, it only accentuated his skinny frame. His wrists looked like they’d snap If Kylo looked at them wrong and his collar bones were starkly visible. What were they doing to him? </p>
<p>“You didn’t think to tell me this before?” Hux asked, his face a mixture of relief and exasperation. He didn’t seem to have noticed the scrutiny so Kylo hastily schooled his expression into something less aghast.</p>
<p>“How was I supposed to know you hadn’t tried?”</p>
<p>“Because if there was any alternative, do you think I would have chosen to have you watch me dash naked through the Academy? Or any of the other indignities I’ve suffered under your gaze these past weeks?” He didn’t wait for Kylo to reply. He marched out of the room, and disappeared into the light.</p>
<p>Kylo sighed. It looked like whatever fragile truce they’d forged had cracked.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Hux made his way back through the base after a day spent crawling around on his hands and knees, poking around the innards of creaking consoles and droids. It had been hard work, but he was grateful for the distraction; the ache in his bones a pleasant throb reminding him of a time well spent. He hadn’t gotten his hands dirty like that in a long time, and he was surprised by how rewarding it had felt when the greying chief technician had clapped him on the shoulder and grunted a few words of praise. He snorted. Kriff. What was happening to him? </p>
<p>As he neared the large central cave, he spotted Millicent lying supine in a patch of fading daylight, fur glowing a fiery orange that rivalled the setting sun. He intended to scoop her up and take her back with him but she looked so content, paws in the air, soft belly on display to all and sundry, that he decided to leave her. She’d find her way back to him when she was done. He was in no particular rush to get back to his cell himself despite the exhaustion tugging at his limbs. The sooner he was there, the sooner he’d fall asleep and have to face Ren again. He thought back to what Ren had said about him being in control of the setting. He wouldn’t have believed him, but it was hard to deny it when the door had unlocked at his command. What else could he do, he wondered? Where would he try and direct the dream? He hated that Ren hadn’t thought to tell him sooner, but he was equally mad at himself for not trying to change things himself—he’d just rolled over and accepted the torment, suffered through the mortification of Ren’s cool observation of his most painful memories.</p>
<p>A short distance away, he saw Rey, eyes closed, legs folded beneath her, as she floated several objects around her head. He’d not seen her since that first time, and he’d quickly dismissed what she’d said about there being a connection at the time, but her words had stuck with him. He supposed he should have mentioned something to Ren, especially after complaining about him withholding information. Should he ask her if she had any further insight? Ren was clearly incapable of solving their problem by himself.</p>
<p>“Come on, what are you waiting for? I don’t want to waste any more of my day babysitting you.” Deyma prodded him with the muzzle of his blaster and Hux scowled.  </p>
<p>“It’s not my fault your commanders view you as too useless for anything more worthwhile than watching my arse all day.”</p>
<p>“Shut up, scum.” Hux stumbled as Deyma shoved him in the back, pitching forwards as his foot caught on an uneven patch of ground. “I’d watch my back if I was you. You’ll get what’s coming to you soon.” He grinned, lips thin and cracked. “Now, get up.”</p>
<p>Hux tucked his rage away as he got to his feet. Deyma’s time would come, and when it did, Hux would enjoy watching him suffer. Until then, though, he had to control himself lest he have his little bit of freedom taken from him. </p>
<p>He wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him rattled, but he watched the shadows a little more closely than before.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Hux was a fast learner, it seemed. Not that Kylo had expected anything less. As soon as he became aware of Kylo’s presence the next night, the scene shifted from one they’d visited many times—the academy where Hux had routinely suffered—to a thickly-forested wilderness. It reminded Kylo a little of Kashyyyk and he half expected to see Chewie running over to greet him with a hug like he always used to before... His hand went almost unthinkingly to the ugly scar in his side as he scanned the shadows between the trees for danger, rubbing fingertips over the scar tissue. He imagined he could feel the puckered ridges even through his clothes. This wasn’t Kashyyyk, though. And this was Hux’s dream—Kylo’s ghosts wouldn’t be present. He shook his head and hurried to catch up to Hux before he disappeared through the trees.</p>
<p>The air was cool and fresh, a dampness to it from a recent rain, and Kylo sucked in a deep lungful. The break from the recirculated air of the Finalizer was a welcome relief, even if it was fake. His boots were quickly caked in heavy reddish soil and bits of leaf soaked as he strode along the narrow path behind Hux. They hadn’t spoken one word to each other yet, but he could tell Hux was still fuming about the previous night’s revelation. Kylo was happy to let him take the lead, though. He was rather enjoying the change in scenery.</p>
<p>Hux muttered under his breath as he marched ahead. Kylo could only make out the odd word, but he heard his name more than once.</p>
<p>“Can I banish you?” Hux asked, after he’d stopped at a small grassy clearing at the edge of a cliff. The view was spectacular—trees as far as Kylo could see, not a whiff of civilisation, and in the distance the grey-blue of an ocean. “If we’re in my head, and I have control over where we are, can I make you fuck off?”</p>
<p>The question took Kylo by surprise and he tore his gaze from the vista to find Hux sat on the grass, glaring up at him like an angry ginger Loth-cat, all scrawny arms and legs. “I don’t know. Maybe?”</p>
<p>Hux closed his eyes and clenched his fists. Kylo was about to ask him what was going on when he opened them again and let out a little frustrated growl (definitely a Loth-cat). “Hmm. It seems not. Unless you’re holding out on some important information. Again,” he muttered with another pointed glare.</p>
<p>“Not that I’m aware of.” Kylo shrugged and sat on the grass too. The damp quickly soaked through his pants, chilling his ass, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. He’d always preferred being planet side to being cooped up on starships, and the cold wetness in the seat of his pants took him back to years past, running through lush gardens on Chandrila when he was a small boy, hiding in the bushes or up trees when his nanny tried to bring him in for dinner. Jumping out and scaring passing dignitaries on their way to visit his mother. </p>
<p>Kylo tuned him out as Hux continued to chunter beside him for a few minutes. He felt as close to relaxed as he could remember feeling in a long while and he closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling. The pressure of leadership continued to grind him down, every cycle bringing new issues, new complaints, new requests. There was mutiny brewing, he was certain, but with all the energy he was expending with these visits, and the time he was spending in meditation seeking answers, he didn’t have the strength to interrogate anyone. He should try resisting the pull from Hux’s mind, just to give himself time to recover, so he could better attend to matters on the ship, but the thought wasn’t appealing. In his weaker moments, he would trade everything to have Hux back on the Finalizer in any capacity just so he had an equal; someone to talk to, even if all they had to say was a derogatory comment about his intelligence or his ears. No one spoke to him like Hux did, and he missed it. </p>
<p>“Did you hear me? I said something happened, the other day. I think I heard you or saw a flash of your thoughts or something. Were you aware?” Hux said, breaking through Kylo’s contemplation. </p>
<p>“What? You’ve seen my thoughts?” Kylo was suddenly alert—this wasn’t good. He couldn’t have Hux in his head. What if he saw— “What were you doing? What was <i>I</i> doing? Why didn’t you say anything before?”</p>
<p>“I was a bit preoccupied the last time I saw you so it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind. I’ll be sure to give you an accurate retelling of my every move in the future. Would you prefer it if I wrote up a report?”</p>
<p>Kylo picked up a pebble and lobbed it over the edge of the cliff. “There’s no need to be an ass about it. I thought you wanted to fix this? How can I fix anything if you don’t tell me what’s going on?”</p>
<p>Hux glared at him and then glanced down. He brushed his hand over the damp grass, then wiped his palm on his trousers. He appeared to be considering his answer carefully. Or perhaps planning to ignore Kylo until one of them woke up. Kylo didn’t care. He could wait him out. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t tell you when exactly it happened—I’ve no access to a chrono here—but it was a couple of cycles ago… when I spoke to… someone. My head pounded and then all of a sudden I could hear snatches of your voice. I’ve had the headaches on and off since you kriffed up my head, so that’s not new, but I’m not used to seeing snatches of your mind.”</p>
<p>“Who was it you were talking to?”</p>
<p>“No one important.”</p>
<p>He was withholding something, Kylo was certain. He studied Hux’s face. He remembered being in a High Command meeting not long ago—the meetings blurred together now so it could have been weeks ago or yesterday. The gathered generals were all asking questions he didn’t know the answers to and talking over the top of each other, and all he’d wanted was to spend the day training, running through his forms and testing his endurance, just how he used to before he became Supreme Leader. Like he used to when Hux had control of the Finalizer. Then, he’d felt a sudden dull throb in the back of his skull and his lightsaber had been in his hand, and the room had erupted into shouts as the officers present rushed to get away from him while those in holoprojections watched with barely concealed amusement. </p>
<p>“Rey.”</p>
<p>“How did you—?”</p>
<p>“I felt her. I was in a meeting with High Command. I didn’t know— I mean, I knew you were with them, but she’s there too? I should have known!” Kylo stood up and paced to the edge of the cliff, fists clenching. He longed for the weight of his lightsaber in his hand. He should have realised she’d be there. Why hadn’t he considered it? He smacked himself in the side of his head, angry at his own ignorance as much as he was at Hux. He’d dismissed High Command’s fears of Hux mounting an attack as foolish, but they hold weight? If Hux got Rey on his side… Did they talk about him? Did they gossip about poor Ben Solo? </p>
<p>“Whatever you’re thinking, stop,” Hux said, coming to stand beside him. “I’ve not joined the Resistance. I’m merely biding my time until the next opportunity presents itself. And may I remind you that the only reason I’m not at my old command is because of you.” </p>
<p>“Because you betrayed me!” Kylo roared. Hux didn’t even flinch. It hurt. It shouldn’t hurt. He hated Hux. He wanted to crush his tiny head, throw his body off the cliff. His fingers itched to wrap around his throat and choke the life out of him. “You believe traitors to the Order shouldn’t be punished?”</p>
<p>Hux’s eyes tightened. </p>
<p>“Tell me where you are, then. Where is the Resistance base? I’ll have a fleet there and wipe them out.”</p>
<p>“And murder me in the process? I think not.”</p>
<p>He stepped closer to Hux, using every bit of his meagre height advantage to press him back, but still Hux stood firm. “I could take the information by force and this time I won’t hold back as I break your mind open.”</p>
<p>Fear and intimidation had never worked with Hux, though. Kylo should have remembered that. Hux narrowed his eyes. “Could you though? You’ve already said that you have no control over these dreams. I think if you were capable of determining my location through such means, you’d have found me already. But instead you loiter, you glare, you sulk. You’re as stuck as I am.”</p>
<p>Kylo faltered. Hux was right. He was stuck. So long as the Force kept him from discovering his location, he couldn’t do anything. And besides, the thought of orchestrating an attack that would almost certainly end with Hux’s death made his stomach curdle. What would he do when his Knights finally discovered him, as they surely would? </p>
<p>A light rain started falling, and his rage fizzled to a dull ache. He didn’t actually <i>want</i> to do anything to harm Hux, but that didn’t change the fact that he needed him back. He couldn’t risk him bringing the Resistance to the First Order, though. Not when things were so fractured. They were both stuck. </p>
<p>“A similar thing happened when I ran into your mother the first time,” Hux admitted quietly. The rain had flattened his hair, and with the way he’d swept it back off his face, it looked a little like he used to wear it on the Finalizer. Kylo stared at it, feeling slightly detached. “I felt… It was like I was experiencing emotions that weren’t mine, seeing snatches of memory that didn’t belong to me.”</p>
<p>“My— You saw General Organa?”</p>
<p>“How big do you think the Resistance is?” Hux scoffed. “Honestly, it’s embarrassing how much trouble they’ve caused us. I’m making strategic use of my contacts, and that’s all. You left me with nothing. What was I to do?”</p>
<p>“You could have not betrayed us in the first place,” Kylo snapped. He strode away from Hux, as far as the dream would allow him, and watched the clouds scud across the sky. Hux left him alone.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>“He’s failing, Millie. You can see it in his eyes. He has this crazed look about him. A man on the edge.” Would there even be an Order left to return to? Hux added silently. Gods he hoped so. He couldn’t live out the rest of his days with these rebels—he was turning feral, he was sure. All this nature was bad for him.</p>
<p>Millicent miaowed and booped him on the chin. At least one of them was happy here. She was really thriving, Hux thought, as he ran his hand over her glossy, sun-warmed fur. “The great outdoors clearly agrees with you, my sweet.” </p>
<p>“No one should spend their life cooped up on a spaceship, Red.” </p>
<p>Hux rolled his eyes and scowled at Poe who was leaning against the door frame with that tiresome smirk on his face.</p>
<p>“Just because I’m allowed to leave my door open now, it doesn’t mean you can just wander in,” Hux snapped, returning his attention to Millicent who’d been head-butting his stilled-hand impatiently.</p>
<p>“I only came to see if you want in on the Sabacc league? Few friendly games as and when. Might help you—”</p>
<p>“I swear on all that is holy that if the next words out of your mouth are ‘make friends’ then I’m going to stick my thumbs so far into your eyes, they come out of your ears. Why is it so hard for you to understand? I don’t <i>want</i> to make friends. I’ve done perfectly well for myself without pointless attachments holding me back.”</p>
<p>Poe shook his head and huffed a laugh. He made a show of looking around the cell. “Yeah, you look like you’re doing real good right there, buddy.” </p>
<p>“Piss off,” Hux snarled. “Next time you return, make yourself useful and bring me some more holovids.”</p>
<p>“Whatever, Red.” Poe sauntered off, chuckling to himself. </p>
<p>“I despise that man,” he whispered into Millicent’s fur. “But I suppose he has his uses.”</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Kylo still didn’t understand why Hux had gone to the Resistance when he had the whole galaxy to hide in. It was one thing knowing he was in a cell in their custody, but now… the way he spoke, it was like he was one of them. Talking to Rey, and to Leia. Even Poe had come up a few times. It made everything feel more personal. Although, he supposed it <i>was</i> personal since Hux had never been shy about admitting that it was Kylo he had the problem with, not the Order. Kylo hated not knowing his reasoning, though. Hux never did anything without thoroughly thinking it through first, so there must have been something, some grand plan, that drove him to them over a shack on some distant planet. </p>
<p>“What do High Command have to say about my absence, then?” Hux asked. It was a few visits since the cliff, and relations had thawed between them again. It turned out that there wasn’t much to do when Hux wasn’t being tormented by childhood demons so they’d started talking again just to pass the time. Tonight, they were sat in the officer’s mess aboard the Finalizer for some reason. Kylo had decided not to question it. Hux had proven to be prickly about these things. There was a Dejarik board set up between them, but Kylo had no desire to play properly. He made his moves without thought, which turned into a game in itself after he decided to see how many disapproving faces he could get Hux to make at his apparent lack of skill.</p>
<p>“High Command want you dead,” Kylo replied, deliberately moving one of his pieces into the path of one of Hux’s. “I sent my Knights out to search for you, but they still think I’m not doing enough. You’re a liability, and they’re scared you’re going to return with a huge army at your back.”</p>
<p>Hux smirked. “Who says I’m not?”</p>
<p>“Fair point.” They played a few more moves in silence. The officer’s mess was busy, but their table was empty. Was this a hint of the dream he might have had? Did Hux still not have any friends? He couldn’t remember ever seeing him with anyone other than Phasma when not on shift, so he guessed it was true. Kylo continued to make simple moves, having to suppress a laugh at Hux’s continued exasperation.</p>
<p>“I suppose I should expect a visit from one of your shadows some time soon if they’re scouring the galaxy for me?”</p>
<p>Kylo shrugged. He knew that if he was unable to pinpoint Hux’s location through the Force, then his Knights stood little chance, but they were tenacious and had their own methods of extracting information from people. He didn’t doubt they would find out eventually, but he’d deal with that when it happened.</p>
<p>“Have you told anyone about this…thing. This—” Hux gestured between their heads, “This whatever-it-is that’s happening?”</p>
<p>“No, I…” Why hadn’t he told anyone? It would probably placate High Command if they knew he could speak with Hux, but he was in no hurry to reveal this to them. He could well imagine Pryde’s face upon hearing the news. “It’s not necessary for anyone to know. Not until we know what is actually happening.” He paused, measuring his next words, but what harm could it do to ask? “Were they like this with you? High Command, I mean. You were always in meetings with them. How did you do it? Didn’t it drive you mad?”</p>
<p>Hux shook his head and laughed. “Constantly. They’re bores, most of them anyway. So hung up on doing things the way they’ve always been done, on traditions. Do you think any of them would have backed Starkiller Base if Snoke hadn’t been in support of it?” He rubbed the fingers of one hand over his lips. “The trick is to make them think you’re agreeing with them so they get to the point faster. Something like: ‘That’s an interesting idea, I’ll look into it.’ or ‘It sounds promising, send me the numbers and I’ll take a look.’ Things like that. Everyone knows you’re not committing to anything, but there’s not much they can argue against.”</p>
<p>“That works?”</p>
<p>“Never underestimate the power of subtle flattery to inflated egos. Half the time they just like to listen to their own ideas out loud, get a little pat on the head. They each have their own tells, their own favourite spots they like being scratched.”</p>
<p>Kylo listened intently as Hux listed all the things he knew about each member of High Command that might help Kylo get the upper hand in meetings and quell the rumblings of a potential coup. He didn’t ask why Hux was helping him, and Hux didn’t offer any explanation.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>“It worked,” Kylo announced as he crunched along a gravel path towards Hux. He was sat on a stone bench beneath an arbour thick with a purple flowering vine. A scrawny, ginger cat played on the ground in front of him, chasing the end of a trailing vine that Hux was dangling in front of it. They were in a formal garden of some description tonight, rich and verdant. Ferns with large green fronds were interspersed with colourful flowering bushes. Trees stood proudly, pruned to symmetry, not a single loose leaf on the ground. Neat lawn, curving pathways. It was a garden designed for strolling through. </p>
<p>“What did?” Hux asked, not surprised by his intrusion.</p>
<p>“Telling Engell that I appreciated his input and would take it into consideration. It was ridiculously simple.”</p>
<p>Hux smiled, nothing more than a barely-there twitch of his lips, but it warmed Kylo all the same to see it. He pushed the feeling away. He wasn’t attached. He wanted Hux on side so he’d reveal his location and then…  “It’s all about reading people,” Hux continued, his attention still focused on the cat leaping and rolling as it threw itself after the wispy end of the vine. “And understanding what they want in spite of the often contradictory words coming out of their mouths.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t have thought of it without your suggestion. Their minds are so twisted with ambition and pride and loathing that I find them hard and unpleasant to read.” </p>
<p>The cat pawed at Hux’s knee and jumped onto his lap, bored with the game, or perhaps savvy enough to go for the source. “You could always just choke them into submission. I understand you’re rather adept at that.”</p>
<p>Kylo chuckled. “I prefer to save that for the people I really can’t stand. I don’t do it to just anyone.”</p>
<p>“Oh stop, you’re making me blush.” The words were playful, and so unlike anything he’d heard from Hux that Kylo couldn’t help but stare. Hux was still focused on the cat, though, alternately scratching behind its ears and letting the cat nuzzle into his palm, a serene look on his face. Kylo wanted to remember that look forever. </p>
<p>“Is this—” He searched his mind for the name of the cat he knew Hux’d had, hidden in his quarters back on the Finalizer. “—Millicent?”</p>
<p>“Hmm? No. This is Cwenhild. I had her for a short time when I was younger, back on Arkanis.”</p>
<p>Kylo murmured his acknowledgement and then crouched down, holding his hand out. The cat, Cwenhild—only Hux would give something so small and sweet a name that sounded like an affliction—sniffed his fingers tentatively then nuzzled into them, a loud purr rumbling out of her chest. He dropped to his knees from an awkward crouch and shuffled closer, enjoying the simple sensation of a creature happy to see him. When was the last time anyone had enjoyed his presence this much? Or at all? She felt so delicate. She should be terrified of what he could do, but she didn’t appear to care, much like Hux, he thought with an amused snort. </p>
<p>Seeking more than Kylo was currently able to provide, Cwenhild jumped from Hux’s lap onto Kylo’s. She stretched up, placing dainty paws on his shoulder, and head-butted him in the jaw, her whiskers tickling his skin and catching on the beginnings of his stubble. He couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm as he rescued his hair from an attempt at grooming. Hux sat in silent observation and Kylo looked up to ask him something, but the question caught in his throat at the strange expression on his face. He recovered quickly enough, though, that Kylo wondered if he’d even seen anything.</p>
<p>“I think she likes you,” Hux said, voice a touch rougher than normal. He cleared his throat. “She always was a terrible judge of character. It was her downfall in the end.” He held out his fingers and <i>pss pss pss’d</i> to get Cwenhild’s attention back on him. He looked softer than Kylo was used to, wistful, even, his fringe fallen over his eyes. He lifted Cwenhild up and pressed his face into her fur until she squirmed. Kylo was afraid to breathe for fear of disrupting the curious scene. It seemed every time he got a read on Hux, he went and threw in a new facet to his personality.</p>
<p>He was almost scared to ask, but the words slipped out anyway. “What happened? Did you have to leave her behind when you went to the Academy?” </p>
<p>“Father discovered her. She was a stray who I’d started feeding, you see. He was of the opinion that emotional attachment, especially to a lesser species, was a weakness that should be cut out. I never saw her again after that.” He smiled sadly at Cwenhild. </p>
<p>Kylo was filled with a detached sort of rage, impotent and directionless. He’d never had a pet growing up, but he could well imagine having something he loved taken away. It was so unnecessarily cruel.</p>
<p>“Oh no you don’t.” Hux’s voice cut through his reflection.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“You’ve got that look about you, like you’re going to offer sympathy. So don’t. I don’t want or need it.”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t going to say anything.”</p>
<p>Hux glared at him.</p>
<p>“Fine. But your dad was an ass and he’s lucky he’s dead.”</p>
<p>“Careful, Ren. Anyone might think you cared. I never had you pegged as a cat person.”</p>
<p>“I’m not, but look at her.” He reached out again and scratched under her chin as Hux rolled his eyes. Cwenhild mewed and neither of them spoke as she jumped between them, ensuring the focus was on her.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Kylo swiped through the latest reports brought to him by Mitaka, all the important information highlighted and parts that required action indicated in red. Listening to Hux’s advice to make better use of the skittish lieutenant had been one of his better decisions. He didn’t ask awkward questions or offer unnecessary advice, and he was surprisingly adept at navigating the politics of the Order, which had the benefit of saving Kylo from dealing with other people. He was so sick of people. </p>
<p>The figures blurred together as he scrolled, disinterest and tiredness combining to make his attention wander. The screen of his datapad was smudged and a thin crack ran across one corner. Hux would probably be horrified if he saw it. Kylo could clearly picture the way his nose would twitch into a sneer as Hux lectured him about his lack of respect toward First Order property; eyes alight, spots of colour high on his cheeks as he worked himself into rage.</p>
<p>He dropped the datapad to his desk and closed his eyes, letting his mind drift. Hux had told him in one of their recent visits that he was feeling Kylo’s presence in his mind more and more during the day. It set him to wondering whether he could intentionally seek out Hux’s mind while awake now. He’d tried it before, but only at the beginning when the bond was new and fragile—if it really was strengthening, it would make sense for them to be able to communicate more easily.</p>
<p>He reached out with the Force, head cocked, brows drawn in concentration as he felt for the path. It wasn’t easy, the way obscured; hidden unless looked at from the right direction and in the right light, like a track left through dewy grass, but then… He found a heading. Softly, softly, so his presence would go unnoticed, Kylo glided closer, Hux’s mind glowing, fresh and bright as a clear winter’s day, drawing him towards it.</p>
<p>And then it cracked and everything turned black.</p>
<p>Kylo opened his eyes. He was on his knees, head bowed. The floor was the sleek black of a Star Destroyer. He tried to stand only to receive a sharp blow to the back of his skull. His arms were bound behind his back, so there was no way to stop his face smacking into the floor. Pain blossomed in his cheek as it took the full brunt of the fall.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t struggle if I were you.” That voice. Kylo would know it anywhere. Pryde. What was going on? “And don’t get any ideas about using your powers to tamper with the collar. You’ll be decapitated in an instant, and I really would prefer you alive.”</p>
<p>The restraints around his wrists, ankles, and neck kept him in an awkward bow-shape and made it impossible to get up, so he tilted his head to look up at his captor.</p>
<p>Pryde lounged on Kylo’s throne, a smirk on his lips. Kylo quivered with rage, the Force crackling through him.</p>
<p>“Now, now, Ren. One wrong move and we do what you should have done months ago.”</p>
<p>There was a noise behind him. The door opening, the scuff of something heavy being dragged across the floor, foot steps. Then he heard a whimper that choked him with dread. </p>
<p>In the next instant, Hux was dropped on the floor, manacled in a similar fashion, with collar and cuffs, but his legs were free. His clothes were dirty, ripped and stained with blood; one side of his face swollen and purple; lip split. One arm sat at an odd angle and Kylo was certain it was dislocated.</p>
<p>“Hux!” he croaked, finding his voice. He wanted to get closer, to check he was still alive.</p>
<p>Pryde laughed. “He’s always been a feisty one. I can see why you like him so much,” he sneered, the tone turning Kylo’s stomach. “You do what we ask and your precious general remains untouched. Set one foot out of line and—” He nodded and the guard who’d dropped Hux on the floor, stepped forward and stuck his dislocated arm with an electro-baton. Hux jerked on the floor, his eyes rolling up into his skull. Blood bubbled out of his mouth.</p>
<p>“What are you doing? What do you want?” Kylo yelled, unable to take his eyes from Hux’s twitching body.</p>
<p>“Surely that’s obvious. I want the entire galaxy under my control, and you’re going to help me. Or your pet general suffers a slow, miserable death.” Pryde leaned forward. “We’ll heal him just enough to keep him alive.”</p>
<p>“No!” </p>
<p>Kylo snapped his eyes open and found he’d slumped forward over his desk. </p>
<p>He sat up, rubbing the crick from his neck. His skin crawled. Something had shifted. Something was coming, and it had to do with Hux. Fear and uncertainty prickled at his mind as he chased the threads of the Force. What did it mean that Pryde was using Hux to control him? When had he become his weakness? And how many were involved in this coup? He needed to meditate and focus on the details.</p>
<p>The door pinged and Mitaka walked in, a datapad clutched in his hands like a shield. His skin had an odd sickly pallor.</p>
<p>“Apologies, Lord Ren. I’ve received a report that Lords Vicrul and Ushar have returned. They say that they—” Mitaka glanced around. He’d become slightly more relaxed in Kylo’s presence over the last few weeks, but he was back to how he used to be. He leant in fractionally closer and lowered his voice despite there being no other people in the vicinity. “Um. They say they have information regarding Gen— um. The traitor, H-hux.” He straightened, swallowing convulsively. “They await your presence in conference room G3.”</p>
<p>Kylo nodded his acknowledgement. That he had been unaware of his Knights’ arrival shook Kylo more than he wanted to admit. He’d been so wrapped up in thoughts of Hux he hadn’t noticed. What else had he missed? If his Knights had located Hux, he didn’t have long to make up his mind about what he wanted to do with him. He fought the urge to reach out to Hux and check he was still okay—would it already be too late? His knights were loyal to him, but as far as they knew, Kylo wanted Hux dead. Could that have triggered the vision?  </p>
<p>“You are dismissed, Lieutenant.”</p>
<p>“Y-yes, sir. Of course.”</p>
<p>Kylo marched to the conference room, blood pounding in his head. Hux would probably feel his turmoil, but he lacked the focus to guard his emotions this time. If Hux had been located, would Kylo keep the information to himself? Would he be able to? High Command were clearly ready to move against him, the Order fracturing before his eyes, and if they moved against the Resistance now, he wasn’t confident of their success. The Force was a knot of conflicting potential timelines and his head hurt whenever he attempted to make sense of it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hux found he looked forward to Ren’s nightly visits more and more. They had quickly fallen into a pattern whereby every night, Ren would bring him his latest list of issues, and Hux would talk him through strategies and offer solutions. It felt good to be involved with the Order again, to be able to shape it in some way, even if he was reliant on Ren’s blunt application of his advice. He enjoyed getting to use his mind again. And it warmed him in a way he didn’t want to examine to have Ren eagerly hanging off his words.</p>
<p>Some of the things Ren relayed to him were a little alarming, but Hux tried not to worry overmuch. It appeared Ren’s stranglehold over the Order was slipping, though, and it was clear certain officers were starting to distance themselves from the general leadership. How much was that to do with the support Phasma had mentioned? He’d tried to keep her words to the back of his mind, aware that Ren might pick up on them, but every now and then they floated to the surface, reminding him that he had a purpose. He hadn’t mentioned anything to Ren about Phasma—he didn’t want to endanger her unnecessarily—but he might have to soon. Just as soon as he’d untangled what was happening.</p>
<p>Hux longed to be back on the bridge, longed to have his datapad, the might of the Order behind him. He’d soon weed out any dissenters. But working in an advisory capacity through Ren was the next best thing, he supposed. It was strange; he’d been so determined to kill Ren, had entertained numerous fantasies about strangling the life out of him, about watching the life flicker out of his eyes after slitting his throat, but he could feel his determination to rid the Order of Ren wavering. He’d even caught himself entertaining thoughts of commanding the Order together with Ren, which, as little as a week ago, had been a patently ridiculous notion. </p>
<p>He tried not to think about how used to Ren’s presence he was now, both day and night. He had believed for so long that he and Ren would be enemies until they died that he wasn’t sure what to do with this shift in things between them.</p>
<p>It was late by the time Hux wandered back to his room. The base had felt weirdly energised all day, people moving with more purpose than he was used to, and Poe had disappeared shortly after grabbing him for breakfast and returned once to pester him. He’d been given a little more freedom around the base since that first time Poe had escorted him out of his cell, but it was the first day he’d been allowed to walk anywhere without a guard. It made him nervous. He didn’t doubt that there wasn’t at least one pair of eyes on him at all time, but after weeks of constant supervision, it was disconcerting. </p>
<p>He nibbled at the roll he’d brought back with him, but he wasn’t hungry. Thinking about Ren made him realise he’d not heard from him all day. He’d become accustomed to hearing his random commentary throughout the day—ever since he’d discovered he could project his thoughts into Hux’s mind while Hux was awake, Ren had taken that as a sign he could chatter nonsense. Most of the time it was just Ren complaining about someone who’d managed to irritate him or about an Order regulation he thought was a waste of time and Hux had quickly learned to tune it out as white noise. His head had been suspiciously empty all day, though, lacking even the headaches that were a result of Ren’s wild mood swings. Combined with the odd atmosphere on the base, Hux had a horrible feeling that something terrible was going to happen. </p>
<p>The last remnants of his appetite fled so he decided to shower instead—a recent perk of his increased freedom. They were communal and ridiculously low-tech, making use of a waterfall and some bodged together piping, but they were surprisingly effective, and even the chill of the water couldn’t deter Hux from making the most of it. Having spent most of his adult life on spaceships where sonic showers were the norm, it was a rare luxury getting running water. </p>
<p>The showers were a short walk from the main base, down a narrow path that cut between the trees and then skirted the lower edge of a large rocky outcrop. As he picked his way along the now-familiar track, Hux tried reaching out to Ren. He’d never knowingly initiated contact between them and wasn’t even sure it was possible, but his head remained frustratingly Ren-free no matter how loud or angrily he shouted.</p>
<p>He’d hoped the showers would be empty with it being late, but there were a couple of people already there, rinsing off under the curtain of water. They both turned as Hux approached, faces freezing in comically similar expressions of distaste as they saw him. Hux turned his back and paid them no heed but his hackles were up. Why had he thought it a good idea to wander around the base? He knew half of them here were waiting for a chance to get rid of him. If he fled back to the relative safety of his room now though, he’d look weak and cowardly.</p>
<p>Ignoring the crawling sensation of impending peril, Hux put his toiletries down and stripped. </p>
<p>He had soaped up his hair when he heard someone speak behind him.</p>
<p>“Where’s your shadow, then?”</p>
<p>Hux didn’t immediately register that he was being spoken to, but he turned when he felt eyes boring into his back and found the two men standing out from under the water, towels around their waists. Neither was taller than Hux, but both were broader across the chest and the one standing closest looked like he could lift Hux above his head with one arm.</p>
<p>“You think you’re too good to talk to us?”</p>
<p>“Frankly, yes. I am.” He concentrated on scrubbing the grime out his hair, determined not to let them see how rattled he was. It was one thing to be cornered by two people, quite another to be cornered while naked and soapy. He should have held his tongue. Why did he always taunt people? For the first time he found himself wishing Poe was there.</p>
<p>Something hit him in the shoulder—a hand?—shoving him into the rough stone wall at the back of the shower. He reached out to catch himself, wet fingers scraping down rock, scrabbling for purchase, but all it earned him was ripped fingernails. His knees hit the ground with a jarring thud and water gushed over his head, washing his hair into his eyes and filling his nose and mouth. He spluttered, disoriented. He was naked, wet, temporarily blinded. He could hear laughter, jeering from his two assailants. Was this a nightmare? Was Ren out there somewhere laughing? But… no. He’d not been asleep, had he? He pushed the hair out of his eyes, but the water washed it back. He couldn’t tell which way was safe. Experience had taught him to stay still and take it. He was outnumbered. Naked. He couldn’t run.</p>
<p>“Should just put a bolt through your chest and be done with it. Stop you wasting everyone’s time.”</p>
<p>“Steady on. They won’t pay if he’s dead.”</p>
<p>“They’ll still pay if he’s damaged. Nothing against that.” A fist to his stomach. Hux curled over, glad he’d skipped dinner. “Fucking coward. Won’t even fight back.”</p>
<p>He braced himself for more, wracked with shivers, but the expected blow didn’t come. </p>
<p>“Someone’s coming,” one of the assailants hissed, and Hux realised he could hear voices getting louder.</p>
<p>The sound of someone spitting was clear over the running water and Hux flinched as something warm hit his foot. </p>
<p>He listened to the footsteps disappearing, hunched over the gravel, frigid water pounding on his back. His body trembled with the force of his fury. He clenched his fists as he straightened, ragged fingernails digging into his palms, needing to ground himself. He needed to get off this planet. He would blast this ugly rock from the sky and obliterate the Resistance the second he got his ship back. He needed a new plan.</p>
<p>Millicent was curled up on his pillow when he arrived back in his room, mood foul. She blinked at him and meeped as she stretched out her front paws, a soft sleepy sound. It was the noise she used to make upon his return from a long shift on the Finalizer. He curled around her, foregoing his usual nighttime routine. He was too agitated for sleep right away though, tensing every time he heard a sound outside his door, wondering if he’d be able to escape before someone here took the matter out of his hands. He drifted for a long while, mind meandering through his problems. When he eventually fell asleep, his thoughts were on Ren. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Dark clouds hung low, almost indistinguishable from the roiling water. The wind whipped up the ocean, topping the waves with froth and flinging spray at their faces. Hux had always loved it here, especially on days like this, where nature seemed at war with itself. Probably one of the only parts of his home world that he’d ever enjoyed—although not enough to visit outside of his dreams.</p>
<p>Ren walked beside him as they picked their way along the coast, head down, hair dancing around his face. He appeared distracted, as ruffled as Hux himself felt. Hux wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he didn’t want to sound like he cared. He <i>didn’t</i> care. He just… As much as he wanted Ren out of his head, he was Hux’s only connection to the Order, and without being able to contact Phasma, felt like his only ally too. </p>
<p>“Where were you today?” Hux asked when the silence started to make him itch. </p>
<p>“I had something I needed to deal with. There’s— Something has come up. I needed space to think. In my own head,” he added with a wry smile.</p>
<p>Hux wasn’t prepared for how much it stung to have Ren not confide in him. Perhaps it was unrelated to the Order. “Is it anything I can assist with?” he asked, hating how needy he sounded.</p>
<p>“No. Not right now, anyway. I had a vision and it was… troubling.”</p>
<p>Something about Ren’s tone set alarm bells ringing. Ren hadn’t been this cagey around him since the beginning of their recent entanglement.</p>
<p>They walked on, falling into silence again. The wind picked up, flinging sand into their faces along with the spray. Gods, it was a miserable place. He tucked his face further into the turned up collar of his jacket. </p>
<p>“Are you safe where you are?” Ren asked, turning towards him. “No one outside of the Resistance knows you’re there?”</p>
<p>“What sort of question is that? I’m as safe as I would be anywhere. I…” He trailed off, remembering the vague threats levelled at him by Deyma when he thought Hux couldn’t hear, the altercation by the showers, the constant glares. A whisper of fear tickled the back of his mind.</p>
<p>Ren stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder. Shoved him around so they faced each other. Hux didn’t have time to complain about the rough handling before Ren spoke, eyes darting over his face. “What is it? What happened?” </p>
<p>Hux flinched. Had Ren read his thoughts? How did that even happen if there were in his mind anyway? Hadn’t he said his Force powers were non-existent in this weird dream state?</p>
<p>“It‘s nothing unexpected. Nothing I can’t handle.” He wasn’t going to admit he’d been roughed up, that he feared leaving his room without Poe at his side, that he’d lain awake for hours imagining he could hear people at his door.</p>
<p>“You have to be careful, okay?” Ren had him trapped, large hands wrapped around his narrow shoulders. Even though they were of a height, Hux felt dwarfed by him. “Promise me you’ll be careful,” His hands tightened, shaking Hux to underline his point. “Don’t go anywhere alone, don’t go anywhere with someone you don’t trust.”</p>
<p>Hux’s stomach lurched. “What… What’s going on? What was in that vision?” Everything had narrowed down to Ren; his face, his hands, the warm reassurance of his presence. </p>
<p>Ren chewed his lip, scrutinising Hux for a beat longer, and then took a step back, eyes on the turbulent slate-grey water. “You’re in danger. I... sensed it. There’s someone— I think there’s a leak. You must be on your guard.”</p>
<p>“And how, exactly, do you propose I avoid this danger? It’s not as if I’m trusted with a blaster at the moment.” Hux huffed out a faint laugh. His chest felt too tight, too tingly. He’d been nervous before, but hearing Ren voice his fears gave them credence—he hadn’t been imaging the blaster to his head, the sword dangling over him. He had to escape and he had to do it soon. “If it’s such a danger for me to be here, you could always send a team to extract me from this planet,” he said, a weak attempt to lighten the mood and lift his thoughts from despair.</p>
<p>Ren frowned and he seemed to actually be considering it for a moment, before shaking his head. “No, it’s not— It’s not safe here either.”</p>
<p>Hux tried to get a few more details about the threat to his life, but Ren refused to reveal anything else, choosing prickly silence over saying something useful. All he would say was that he had everything under control and he’d handle it. There was nothing that infuriated Hux more than being kept in the dark about matters, especially matters pertaining to him, and he hated how little control he had over the situation. Ren knew he was a keen strategist, so why wasn’t he using him? </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Over the next few nights, Ren continued to be evasive and distant and they spent their time either arguing or sitting in an angry silence together—if he showed up at all, that was. He made no further mention about his vision nor the implied threat of the Order other than to check Hux was still safe (which he was), and to ask if he’d noticed anything off (which he hadn’t). He kept silent during the day too, ceasing with the inane commentary Hux had grown used to, but Hux could still feel him there, a presence lurking in the shadows of his mind that was at once both a comfort and a nuisance. </p>
<p>Hux felt like he was being crushed, living with the constant threat of death hanging over his head. He had a target on his back, and almost every person in the galaxy seemed to be lining up to take a shot. It was nothing new, he supposed, and he’d always survived before, but somehow it felt worse this time, the anticipation more suffocating. He couldn’t go anywhere without looking over his shoulder, eyeing everyone with suspicion, jumping at shadows.</p>
<p>The strange atmosphere on the base had persisted too. Hux was aware that it could have been because of his growing paranoia, but he didn’t think he imagined the way the base was operating with more purpose. Of course, no one would tell him anything.</p>
<p>He picked at his food only half listening to the conversations around him; Rey yammering on about something pointless while Rose nodded enthusiastically, Finn and Poe alternating between talking over the top of each other and finishing each other's sentences. The mess was busy, and he would have preferred the solitude of his room, but Poe had insisted he eat with them. Something about socialisation, or some other nonsense. Hux hadn’t had the energy to fight with him about it, but he regretted that now. Their table was at the edge of mess, and Hux felt incredibly exposed with his back to the deepening gloom beneath the trees. What monsters lurked there? It wouldn’t take much for an assassin to pick him off.  </p>
<p>“…but it can’t just be a coincidence, can it? First the <i>you know</i> and then this. I mean… it has to be connected.”</p>
<p>Something about the tone of Rose’s voice gave Hux pause. He looked up to see Rose, Finn, Rey, and Poe huddled together. “What was that?” he asked. Four heads swivelled around, varying degrees of surprise registering on their faces.</p>
<p>There was no immediate answer. A full conversation seemed to take place with only glares, eyebrows, and head tilts.</p>
<p>“Well,” Poe said eventually, ignoring a couple of pointed looks from his co-conspirators, “an unmarked ship was spotted a couple of days ago and—”</p>
<p><i>“Poe!”</i> Finn hissed, eyes hardened.</p>
<p>Hux straightened and set his spoon on the table, attention piqued. A ship? Was this the danger Ren had spoken of? Had the First Order found him? A bounty hunter? He leaned forward, breakfast forgotten.</p>
<p>“Yes? And? What about this ship? What’s the theory?” Hux snapped. He <i>knew</i> there had been something going on.</p>
<p>Poe opened his mouth to reply but shut it with a flinch, shooting an apologetic look at Finn. “Sorry, I would tell you but… it’s classified.”</p>
<p>Hux scowled. “Don’t give me that rubbish.” His irritation fuelled by exhaustion and frustration was quick to rise. “As if this is anything close to an organised military operation,” he spat. “If there is any chance I’m in danger—”</p>
<p>“What makes you think that it’s anything to do with you?” Rey said. She was watching him in that annoyingly intense way of hers.</p>
<p>He opened his mouth before remembering that he only knew of the danger to his life through Ren. “Of course it’s to do with me. I’m not an idiot. I’ve heard the rumours.” It was a gamble, but it paid off judging by the guilty looks shared by the group.</p>
<p>“Look, buddy, we don’t know anything at the moment. There have been a few encrypted transmissions, and then this ship appears… we’re just looking into it. But, um, yeah. Leia is probably gonna want to talk to you about it at some point.”</p>
<p>“Poe, he could be working with them, remember. <i>He</i> could be the one sending the messages,” Finn hissed, shooting an angry glance at Hux.</p>
<p>“Who would I be working with? May I remind you that the Order threw me out for assisting you lot, in case that fact has slipped your minds?”</p>
<p>“It could be a double-cross,” Finn replied. “Maybe you’re trying to get back into Kylo Ren’s good books. Maybe you—”</p>
<p>Hux smacked his hand on the table. “I assure you, I have never been in the Supreme Leader’s ‘good books’.” He pushed his bowl away and got up. He couldn’t stomach another circular argument with these mouth breathers. And the gall of that <i>traitor</i> thinking he had any right to speak to Hux like that.</p>
<p>“Hux, buddy,” Poe started. Hux cut him off with a glare.</p>
<p>“Can I assume I’m not going to be shot for walking back to my room?” </p>
<p>Poe shrugged. “Sure, you’re safe here.” If only his tone was as certain as his words. </p>
<p>Hux left without another word. He started towards his room, but then changed his mind; he needed to keep busy or he’d just dwell on how everything was coming apart. All he had in his room was an old datapad full of books he’d read already. Millicent wouldn’t even be there. Instead, he headed over to the gonk droid he’d been rewiring the previous day, hoping to numb his mind with repetitive grunt work. He’d half-expected Poe chase after him, but there were no heavy footsteps, no overly friendly hails. He’d not mentioned to anyone about the incident in the showers, and it was only as he started down the track to the area the technicians had claimed as their own that it struck him how foolish he’d been, purposefully separating himself from the only person who might potentially prevent another attack. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>It was dark, damp. Sounds echoed. Hux was in a cave, he could tell that much. His thighs felt tight, his feet throbbed like he’d been walking for hours, but he couldn’t remember when or where he started. All he knew was that he couldn’t stop. There was someone—something—behind him. If he stopped, they’d catch up. He would only be safe for as long as he could keep moving. He knew this with absolute certainty. </p>
<p>Darkness pressed in on all sides. He knew if he stretched his arms into a T, he’d be able to graze the walls but he couldn’t really see them, not unless he concentrated. He was looking ahead now, arms out so he wouldn’t walk into anything. He could see a foot, maybe two from his body, no further than the tips of his fingers. </p>
<p>It smelt damp, cool, fetid. But he was sweating. He’d been walking for so long. He didn’t even know if he was going deeper or returning to the surface. Perhaps he’d be trapped underground forever, walking and walking and walking. That’d be unlikely. He’d have to stop eventually and that’d be when they caught up. They. He doesn’t know who they are but he knows something terrible will happen if they caught him. </p>
<p>He strained his ears to see if they’d gotten closer but all he could hear was the rasp of his own breath, the steady trickle of water somewhere, the scrape-crunch of his boots on the rough tunnel floor. </p>
<p>“Where are we?”</p>
<p>“Sith fucking <i>hells.</i> Ren!” Hux’s already racing heart skipped a few beats. </p>
<p>“Sorry.” Ren didn’t look remotely sorry. He was standing close enough that Hux could see different colours in his eyes, the stray eyebrow hair sitting out of place. Hux didn’t question why he could see him so clearly when he could barely see his own hands. He glared at him and continued his march through the dark tunnels. “Hey, slow down; where are you going?” Ren shouted after him.</p>
<p>“I have to keep moving. Something is coming.”</p>
<p>Ren looked over his shoulder, frowning, but Hux paid him no mind. He wasn’t going to get caught just because Ren didn’t believe him. “What? What is it?” Ren asked.</p>
<p>“It’s—” He knew something was there. He knew it. But…what? “I don’t know.” Hux growled. Frustrated. But he couldn’t stop walking.</p>
<p>“Hux, there’s nothing there. This is a nightmare. You know that, right?” </p>
<p>Hux gritted his teeth and walked faster. He did know it was a nightmare, logically, but the primal part of his brain that concocted monsters in dark corners overrode all sense and forced him onwards.</p>
<p>“Hux—” Hux felt something around his wrist. Vaguely registered that it was Ren, but not quickly enough to prevent him from yanking his arm back and lashing out. His fist connected with Ren’s nose with a satisfying crunch that was swiftly followed by a howl of pain. “Could you stop? Just—”</p>
<p>Ren grabbed his wrist again and spun him around, managing to pin him to the damp wall of the cave. His wrists were held together above his head, and there was a forearm across the top of his shoulders, a knee nudging between his legs. The roughly hewn tunnel wall was cool and damp against his cheek.</p>
<p>Hux grunted, and tried to free himself, but Ren was a solid immovable mass. He could feel his chest moving with each breath, every exhale fanning across the side of his face. He was helpless. They were going to catch him.</p>
<p>“What are you doing? Get off me, you oaf. I need to move.” Hux made another feeble attempt to free himself. </p>
<p>“It’s not real. There’s nothing coming.” Ren’s words were quiet, rumbled directly into Hux’s ear. He shivered.</p>
<p>“Then what’s been chasing me?”</p>
<p>“Nothing. We can leave the cave. The exit is just ahead. Do you believe me?”</p>
<p>He wanted to. He wanted to be out of this place. Wanted the thing after him to be fake, but it felt so real. He craned his neck to try and look past Ren. He swore he could hear something. Why wasn’t Ren letting him go? He squirmed again, and Ren hissed. </p>
<p>“Hux, look at me. Do you trust me? You’re safe. This is a dream. You can control it, remember? We’re gonna walk around the corner and head outside. Nothing is following us.”</p>
<p>Hux was caught by the intensity of Ren’s eyes. They were so dark, but there was a glimmer of gold in there too, reflecting the light— Hux looked past Ren again. He realised he could see the cave wall, lit up from an unseen light source. The faint glow of outside. A breeze stirred his hair. </p>
<p>Ren slowly eased off him, turning him round so his back was against the wall and stepping back, but keeping hold of his hand.</p>
<p>“Ready?”</p>
<p>Hux nodded and Ren led him into the fresh air, his hand wrapped securely around Hux’s. Hux deliberately didn’t think about how it felt.</p>
<p>They exited onto a rocky promontory over a now very familiar jungle-scape and Hux immediately relaxed. The Resistance base. Faceless people moved around, and he could see one of the clearings used as an airfield over to the side, the shapes of several X-wings clearly visible. He watched Ren take it all in out of the corner of his eye and he could tell he had questions, but appreciated that he didn’t voice any. He was certain Ren had guessed where they were, though.</p>
<p>Out of the cave, without the oppressive darkness, the suffocating feeling of some ominous danger tracking him lessened. He still felt the irrational fear prickling at the back of his neck, but Ren’s presence, the clear sky, it grounded him, enabled his logical mind to come to the fore. He could understand now that the nightmare reflected his waking fears. Something that was Ren’s fault, he remembered. He yanked his hand out of Ren’s grasp, annoyed that he could just come in to Hux’s head and act like Hux was the one being ridiculous when it was Ren’s lack of communication and evasiveness that had turned Hux’s head into a mess of stress and anxiety in the first place.   </p>
<p>“There was an unmarked ship spotted near the base recently. Was that your doing?” Hux asked. </p>
<p>Ren whipped around to face him, one hand raised threateningly between them. “When was this?”</p>
<p>Hux held his ground. “I don’t know, but the Resistance have been in a bit of a tizzy about it.”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you say something? I warned you. I told you to be on your guard.”</p>
<p>“And I was. What would you have me do? Hide under a rock so the mean space shuttle can’t see me? I don’t even know if it was nearby since I’m apparently unworthy of details.” He glared pointedly at Ren. “Poor little Hux,” he continued. “Let’s stick him in the corner with a bent spoon and hope he doesn’t hurt himself by thinking too hard. No matter that I, until very recently, commanded the mightiest fleet in the galaxy. But, oh no, I still must be shielded from information I could use to save my own damn life.” He was breathing heavily by the time he finished, toe to toe with Ren.</p>
<p>Ren stared at him, eyes wide. “You should have told me—”</p>
<p>“When? You’ve barely given me the time of day! You dropped the news on me that my life was in peril, then buggered off to kriff knows where, leaving me to look over my shoulder every two minutes, expecting danger to leap out at me at any moment. And any time I tried to get anything useful from you, you tell me you’re handling it. Do you think me incapable?”</p>
<p>Ren frowned and turned away. They were still standing in the cave mouth overlooking the base.  Trees rose up all around them but Hux could recognise the edge of the CR90 jutting out of the large central cave, could make out familiar pathways through the undergrowth, spotted a couple of anti-craft turrets hidden amongst the bushes.</p>
<p>The silence stretched on, but Hux was too aggravated to do anything about it. He hated that there was nothing he could do to help himself. Hated being dependent on others. </p>
<p>Ren sighed. “Sorry. I’ve been a little busy. There’s…” he paused, pursed his lips. “I believe there’s a coup planned. Pryde and some of the others, they intend to neutralise me and take over the Order. I’ve been doing what I can to find out who’s involved.”</p>
<p>Hux’s first thought was one of surprise; this was the danger Ren had alluded to before? The reason why Hux couldn’t return to the Order? With all the problems he’d been hearing about from Ren, he supposed it wasn’t surprising that he’d not been the only one to try and take matters into his own hands. The very idea of Pryde as Supreme Leader made Hux feel sick.</p>
<p>“How do you know this? Why do you think it’s a coup?”  </p>
<p>“I can feel the dissent in their minds. Their thoughts buzz with it. Greedy, disrespectful. They want us both dead.”</p>
<p>“Well, kill them, then. I don’t understand the problem.” </p>
<p>Ren sighed, weary. Hux noticed the dark smudges beneath his eyes, the waxy pallor to his skin. He wasn’t sleeping again. “It’s complicated—I don’t know how deep it goes, and… I think they’re working behind my back to get to you too. I need to find out what’s going on, before they get to you.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“When my Knights learned details of your location, they discovered that the information had already been fed to people within the Order. People who aren’t working in yours or my best interests. And my vision—”</p>
<p>Hux thought his heart might have stopped for a second. He reached out to steady himself on the rock face. “You know where I am? How—?”</p>
<p>“I know what sector you’re in. I know you’re with the Resistance. I also know now—” he looked around “—it’s a jungle planet. But that’s irrelevant. Someone who knows where you are has been selling this information to the highest bidder, and someone at the Order, behind my back, was prepared to pay for this information.”</p>
<p>“They’re coming here?” Hux’s mind worked furiously, trying to connect the dots. How much of this information was tainted by Ren’s own interpretations? How much more was he not saying? Just because they were against Ren, it didn’t mean they were against him. Could these be the supporters Phasma had spoken about? Hope fluttered in his chest. Could his rescue and reinstatement be imminent? “How do you know all this? What does this have to do with a coup? Why would them coming for me necessarily be a bad thing?”</p>
<p>“I told you before. I had a vision.” Hux didn’t scoff, but it was close. Ren must have noticed because he rolled his eyes despite the apparent seriousness of the situation. “Don’t believe me if you want, but I’ve spent the last few days reading minds, interrogating, slicing into private comm channels,” Hux’s eyebrows leapt up into his hairline at that, “They’re not on your side. They’d leave you to rot with the Resistance if they didn’t think you’d cause trouble for them later. You know Pryde’s been waiting for a chance to get rid of you for good.”</p>
<p>It wasn’t exactly news to Hux, but to hear it said out loud filled him with a cold dread. Nothing Ren said made sense, but it also did. The First Order bred loyalty, but fed it with fear and ambition. There were people who’d stop at nothing to get what they wanted, even if that meant taking down a powerful Force user. Would there even be an Order left for Hux to get back to? “What do you intend to do about this?”</p>
<p>“I’ve learnt that the conspirators are meeting in five standard days, in an old Imperial outpost on Taiig. I <i>intend</i> to destroy them, but I haven’t figured out how. There can’t be any loose ends.”</p>
<p>“Why are you telling me this?”</p>
<p>Ren paused, rubbed a hand over his chin. “You’re better at strategy than me. You have a cooler head. And I… believe we could help each other out.” The admission looked like it pained him.</p>
<p>A smile curled at Hux’s lips, hope igniting again; the thought of an end to this drudgery swelling in his chest; excitement at the prospect of strategising, planning, putting down Pryde for good. Even the thought of actively working with Ren thrilled him and he couldn’t hide his glee.</p>
<p>The beginnings of an idea unfurled in his mind. It would mean trusting Ren but who else did he have left? He took a breath.  </p>
<p>“You know who’s involved?”</p>
<p>“I know the main people. I’ve no idea how deep the rot goes. That’s why I’ve been unable to proceed against them. I can’t vet every trooper, every officer. There’s no time. And all it would take is one traitor to sabotage any move I make.” He quirked an eyebrow at Hux.</p>
<p>“But you say they’re planning a meeting?”</p>
<p>“In a few days, yeah. Why?” He narrowed his eyes. “You already have a plan, don’t you.”</p>
<p>Hux nodded slowly. “We need the Resistance.”</p>
<p>The plan was only half-formed in his head, but saying it out loud, he could have laughed at how much sense it made. After all, he’d been intending to use the Resistance against Ren. This was merely an adaptation of his previous plan. </p>
<p>“The Resistance? How—”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about the details. I’ll convince them, somehow. Tell me the time and the place of the meeting, I’ll pass the information on.”</p>
<p>“And then what?”</p>
<p>“And then… I don’t know,” he laughed, giddy from all the possibilities. “I’ll get away from here, and we can rebuild the Order together, create something new from the ashes, something less tainted by the old Empire, something that’s ours.” His excitement grew as his mind hurriedly sketched in details. He’d never been one to get carried away with ‘what ifs’ but he could clearly picture it. Him and Ren, ruling the galaxy together, righting wrongs. Powerful, respected. Entire systems bowing to their rule.</p>
<p>Hux’s rapid fire thoughts stumbled to a halt when he saw Ren staring at him; cheeks pinked, mouth ajar, eyes wide. Had he said something wrong?</p>
<p>And then it struck him. <i>Together.</i> He was about to backtrack when stopped to consider it for a second more. Together. Would it really be so bad? Ren’s might, his strategic mind. The Knights. They wouldn’t even need a huge fleet to take over the galaxy… They could do anything.</p>
<p>“Together,” he said, with renewed certainty and was rewarded with a broad smile.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Hux was exhausted. He’d been in the interrogation room for hours and it didn’t feel like they were getting anywhere.</p>
<p>“I don’t know why you expect us to believe you’ve suddenly remembered this gathering out of the blue. It’s all a bit suspicious, if you ask me.” His interrogator was someone who looked like they’d only got the promotion to captain in order to make up numbers; a sentient with mottled brown skin and wide-spaced eyes who flinched and tugged nervously on one of his mouth tendrils whenever Hux glared at him. He muttered something to his companion in a language Hux didn’t understand and they shared a look.</p>
<p>Hux rubbed his fingers against his temples. His headache was back, a tightness behind his eyes that he knew from experience wouldn’t go until he got some rest, but he could also feel the familiar weight of Ren, sitting in the back of his mind; silently monitoring. He didn’t know whether Ren had learned to be less intrusive or if he’d just got used to him. After several days of his absence, though, it was something of a comfort to feel him there. A reminder that he wasn’t alone; that they had a plan. If only he could get these idiots to play along.</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t ask you, did I? I’ve given you the information. Handed you some of the most decorated First Order generals on a plate. What you do with the information is up to you. Would I prefer you act on it? Of course. These people want me dead, but I can hardly force you to do anything. You must have me confused with the Supreme Leader.” He smiled, small and insincere. He could hear the bitterness seeping into his tone, but he didn’t think the man opposite him noticed it. Not that it mattered. He’d made no secret of his distaste for Ren during the initial interrogations. He hadn’t let on that he hadn’t actively wanted to kill Ren for a while now.</p>
<p>The back and forth continued for a little longer, but even the most stubborn among them must have realised they were getting nothing new from Hux. He didn’t blame them for their reluctance to believe his story. <i>He</i> wouldn’t have believed it. He’d concocted a tale about having suddenly remembered the scheduled High Command meeting, but it was flimsy at best. Had he not been so worn ragged from a night spent running through caves and plotting the attack with Ren, then he might have come up with something better, but time was scarce and once he’d opened with the initial lie—<i>I must speak with General Organa, I’ve remembered something important</i>—he could only double-down on it. Unfortunately, Leia hadn’t been around, so he’d been stuck with a carousel of no-name higher-ups who all thought they held the key to figuring Hux out. It was worse than when he’d first arrived.</p>
<p>The nervous captain and his underling eventually left the room, presumably so they could send in a different idiot with the same list of questions worded slightly differently. Didn’t they realise this information was time sensitive? He had Poe on side—he’d been the first one Hux had told his story to, and while suspicious, had been keen to act on the information—but it appeared he was in the minority. Without a few more people backing him up though, without Leia, nothing would happen. Hux had underestimated how cautious the Resistance were, how suspicious they all were of his motives. </p>
<p>He folded his arms on the table and dropped his head to them. He cursed himself for not putting more thought into how he was going to convince them that they needed to move against the First Order. He’d gotten so caught up in fantasising about how he and Ren were going to take over the galaxy that he’d neglected to figure out some of the more immediate details, which was most unlike him.</p>
<p>“Hux.” As if summoned by his desperation, General Organa appeared in the doorway. She looked tired and had obviously come straight from the shuttle that had brought her back the base; she had that rumpled look of someone who’d been travelling for too long. Her eyes were still sharp, though, as she took him in. Rey stood just behind her, face impassive. </p>
<p>“General, Rey.” He nodded at them in greeting, but didn’t rise. He didn’t like the way they were both watching him. He was tired and hungry, uncomfortable from the long hours spent being interrogated. He shifted in the chair, the plasteel surface hard and unforgiving beneath his arse. People believed the First Order had an austere style, but at least they had padding on their chairs in the meeting rooms. It had been one of the few concessions to comfort he’d insisted upon. </p>
<p>“I’m told you have some new information for us?” Leia asked, taking the seat opposite him. Rey hung back by the door eyeing him with unveiled suspicion. He looked for the telltale sign of someone skimming his thoughts, but all he felt was the soft hum of Ren. He felt confident Ren would keep them out if they tried anything, although how, he wasn’t sure.</p>
<p>“Yes, there is to be a High Command meeting in approximately four cycles. It will be held on an abandoned Imperial outpost in the Unknown Regions.”</p>
<p>“I see.” She folded her hands on the table in front of her, her face giving nothing away. Hux felt hope trickle away. “And you’re informing us of this now because…?”</p>
<p>“Because it’s the perfect opportunity to strike at the core of the Order. Without its leaders, they will crumble. You will have won. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>Leia sighed. “I understand that, but why tell us now? Surely you must have known about this before.”</p>
<p>“I assure you—” </p>
<p>Leia cut him off. “You could have given us time to prepare, time to verify the intel. I’m left to wonder what your angle is and whether your information is even still good. Or, and this is what worries me most of all, is this new intel? Because that opens up a lot more questions, especially given recent activity.”</p>
<p>“I assure you,” he said firmly, “my information is good. The meetings are planned months in advance. It merely…slipped my mind.”</p>
<p>Leia pursed her lips at the same time as Rey snorted. Hux’s knuckles were white from where he was clenching them on his lap. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They were supposed to fall over themselves to use what he knew. Had he worn out his use? Dread prickled at his spine, knowing what that would mean for him.</p>
<p>“It’s not good enough, Hux. Give us something we can use, some assurance that this isn’t an elaborate trap and we can talk.” Leia stood up and moved to the door. </p>
<p>Panic swept over him. “It’s not a trap!” He bit down on his tongue to prevent himself saying anything more before he had a chance to think. He needed to make them stay, but how? Kriff. “Wait, just—” He had nothing. What could he say?</p>
<p>
  <i>Tell her. Tell her I told you.</i>
</p>
<p><i>Ren?</i> He scoffed. <i>I’m sure that’ll go down well. I didn’t forget the intel until now, your son whispered it in my ear from across the galaxy.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>The girl can sense me. She’ll believe you.</i>
</p>
<p>“Hux?” Rey peered at him, stepped closer. They were both watching him expectantly. </p>
<p>“It was Ren. He told me about the meeting.”</p>
<p>“Kylo Ren told you about a High Command meeting?”</p>
<p>“I know it sounds ridiculous—”</p>
<p>“You can say that again. The last I heard, he wanted you dead. Firstly, how did he get this information to you, and secondly, how is this supposed to reassure us that you aren’t sending us into a trap?”</p>
<p>Hux took a deep breath and explained. Told them how Ren was able to visit him in dreams, how they had come to realise the Order was lost, that it needed cutting down, and that they needed the help of the Resistance. He didn’t reveal everything, and he skipped over the real purpose of the meeting, but he hoped it was enough. </p>
<p>“I knew I felt him on you!” Rey said, grinning at Hux once he’d finished talking. “I told you, didn’t I Leia?” </p>
<p>Leia looked to Rey. “I don’t know. This still seems too convenient. We’re expected to take the word of a war criminal who claims to communicate with my— with the Supreme Leader while he sleeps?”</p>
<p>Rey nodded. “I know it sounds stupid, but it feels… right. Can’t you sense it? This could be how we get him back. This is a sign Ben’s not lost to us.”</p>
<p>Leia sighed, weary. “Looks like we’ve got a lot to talk about,” she said. “Starting with why you and Kylo Ren are suddenly working together to dismantle the organisation you’ve used to kill billions of people, and why you think the Resistance should help you.”</p>
<p>Hux grimaced and settled in for a few more long hours in the galaxy’s most uncomfortable chair. At least things were starting to head in the right direction. What were a few more hours of discomfort? He could soon be free of this place. “I don’t suppose anyone wants to get me a caf?” he asked as various Resistance operatives filtered into the room. Leia glared at him.</p>
<p><i>I hope you know what you’re putting me through,</i> he thought bitterly at Ren, although he had no idea if he heard. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>The base was a hive of activity for a full cycle as frantic preparations were made for the attack. Hux barely got any time to himself as he was called on to advise on everything from the expected layout of the base, to the number and type of enemies they might encounter on the ground, to the probable size of the enemy fleet. It felt wrong, assisting with an attack on what he still saw as his people, and he had to keep reminding himself not to sabotage the Resistance’s chances by providing incorrect intelligence. He kept in mind his goal, though. Reassured himself that Ren would ensure the right people were in the right places and losses would not be too dire. </p>
<p>By the end of the second cycle, the base had emptied, leaving only a skeleton crew behind and Hux felt like he could breathe for the first time in weeks.</p>
<p>He spent a lot of time reading on his bunk, Millicent purring at his side. He hoped she’d forgive him for dragging her away from this place when he was finally able to leave. He knew she’d enjoyed exploring the cave systems and the jungle—surely a much more exciting place for a cat than his quarters on the Finalizer. He resolved to let her out more once they were back in space—maybe even leash-train her and bring her around the ship with him. </p>
<p>
  <i>You think about your cat far more than is healthy.</i>
</p>
<p>Hux rolled his eyes. <i>Says the man who stomps through people’s minds, and hangs out in nightmares for fun.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Makes me an authority on what people think about, wouldn’t you say?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Piss off, Ren. Don’t you have a coup to put down?</i>
</p>
<p>There was a pause. <i>About that… I’m going to be there.</i> </p>
<p>Hux’s stomach lurched. That wasn’t part of the plan. <i>What?</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Pryde’s meeting. My presence was requested and I can’t get out of it without looking suspicious.</i>
</p>
<p><i>It would be more suspicious for you to attend!</i> Ren made him want to tear his hair out. Did he have no sense of self preservation? <i>I’ve lost count of the number of meetings I requested your attendance at which you flat out ignored. Are you insane? Hells, you are, aren’t you. What am I doing? Why did I think this was a good idea?</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Hux! Stop over-thinking. The plan will still work. I’ll get out before the attack. But I think this is when Pryde is going to make his move to overthrow me and I’m curious to see what they’ll try.</i>
</p>
<p>Hux rolled his eyes. Again. <i>Oh, well that makes perfect sense then,</i> he said with as much sarcasm as he could project. <i>By all means, go sate your curiosity. Get captured. Killed. I don’t care.</i></p>
<p><i>You don’t need to worry.</i> Hux bristled at his implication. Worry? He wasn’t worried. He was… flabbergasted by Ren’s continued arrogance, but certainly not worried. <i>Hux, I can feel your emotions. It’s okay. I know what I’m doing. I’ll be careful. I’ll get out before the Resistance turn up. Maybe I can disable some of the base’s anti-craft turrets while I’m there.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>You’re going to get yourself killed. Where will that leave me? How will I get back to the Order if you get yourself blown up?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I’m sure you’ll figure something out. I have to go. Stay on your guard—I’ll see you on the other side.</i>
</p>
<p><i>Ren, wait—</i> Hux gritted his teeth. A squeezing, clenching sensation in his head, then nothing. There wouldn’t be any response. He could tell from the yawning hole in his mind that Ren had gone; had boarded up the connection. </p>
<p>“Kriffing Ren,” he muttered. It really was unfair that he could waltz into Hux’s mind whenever he wanted, and Hux couldn’t do the same. </p>
<p>He shunted all thoughts of Ren to the back of his mind and tried to focus on the text. He was currently wading through a study on architecture trends in Coruscant, which was every bit as dry and self-serving as he’d expected, but it kept him from dwelling on things he couldn’t change. He was stuck deciphering a particularly tedious passage when he heard his door lock disengaging. </p>
<p>He froze. Chest tight. </p>
<p>“I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about, Millie,” he murmured, slowly setting the datapad down. He scanned the room for anything that could help; a couple of tools sat on the table; the heavy basin; the stool. Before he could reach for anything, the door opened. </p>
<p>“All alone, Starkiller?” His tone was cold, his grin a little too wide. Dread snaked up Hux’s spine and tightened around his neck.</p>
<p>“Deyma?” He stood, daring his trembling legs to defy him. It might not be as bad as it looked, he told himself. Deyma was often assigned to guard him. Maybe they needed Hux to advise on something and had sent Deyma to fetch him. But then he saw the blaster in his hand.</p>
<p>“Come to kill an unarmed man in his bed? How very character appropriate,” Hux sneered. There was an arc wrench just out of reach. If he lunged he might be able to reach it before Deyma pulled the trigger…</p>
<p>“Shut it, killer. Besides, death is too good for you.”</p>
<p>“What are you planning to do? If you’re here to ask me out, I’m afraid you’re not my type.”</p>
<p>Deyma strode across the small room and cracked Hux around the face with the butt of the blaster. Pain blossomed in Hux’s cheek and he fell back on the bed, vision blurring. “I’m going to enjoy seeing you suffer,” Deyma muttered, retreating back to the door and glancing outside.</p>
<p>Before Hux could ask anything else, Deyma raised the blaster and the room glowed blue before everything went black.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo stalked through the endless maze of corridors, striking down anyone who stood against him without a second glance. There were more dissenters than he’d expected. Stoomtroopers and officers. Pilots. Engineers. The rot had spread its tendrils into all levels of the Order. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He turned another corner, and had to throw himself into an alcove as another direct hit rocked the base, dislodging more ancient masonry. He hoped it was the Resistance otherwise things were going to get so much worse. He thought again of Hux and hoped he was safe, hoped they had been lying, but he avoided the temptation to send his mind out to check up on him. It was taking every last bit of his focus to deflect blaster bolts and falling debris, and if he let his guard down for a second, he knew there’d be no way to shield Hux from his thoughts. Hux would be fine—he <i>had</i> to be fine.</p>
<p>Another rumble. Kylo almost lost his footing as everything around him shook with worrying intensity. He choked a Stormtrooper that stepped out in front of him, cut through another, gaping wounds already cauterised before their bodies hit the floor. He’d come so close to being caught. He couldn’t believe how arrogant he’d been, to assume that they’d not be prepared for him to fight back. When the conference room had filled with stormtroopers he’d experienced a flash of fear along with a sudden certainty that Hux would be unbearably smug once he found out Kylo had let himself get cornered. </p>
<p>It hadn’t been a complete waste of time, him attending the meeting. He’d discovered that they’d hoped to sway him to their side with promises of power. It was laughable. He <i>had</i> power and they had nothing. So he had laughed at them. But then they’d told him they had Hux and everything turned red. He’d thrown Pryde against the wall. Heard the snap of his neck, and chaos had descended. Stormtroopers in modified suits swarmed the room. Kylo was surrounded. Alarms blared. Lights flashed. And then the aerial assault began. </p>
<p>Pryde’s words—<i>“We have Hux.”</i>—sustained Kylo’s rage as the walls trembled. The base took direct hit after direct hit. It was as dark as deep space inside the sprawling complex but his lightsaber lit his way, cutting people down. Red. So much red. His hand thrust out, tossing people aside. He reached out to see if he could sense Hux nearby, but he wasn’t here. He didn’t believe they had him. It had been a lie to force his hand. Hux was safe on the Resistance base for now, Kylo was certain of it. He’d know if Hux was in danger.</p>
<p>The docking bay where he’d left his ship was just up ahead. There were other people in the base now.  He dimly registered another glow. Blue. Shouting. His name? But then the wall exploded. It was too quick and he was too distracted, too tired. He couldn’t mitigate the blast before chunks of masonry pelted him, forcing him to the ground.</p>
<p>And then, nothing.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Heat. That was the first thing that Hux registered. He was too hot. But it was a dry heat, not the humidity he’d been putting up with recently. The ground was hard beneath him, his face pressed against a rough surface. Had he fallen out of his bunk? He could hear creaking. A low rumble. The ground lurched and vibrated. His head throbbed. His face felt hot and raw on one side. He tried to sit up but realised his hands were tied behind his back, the restraints cutting into his skin.</p>
<p>His thoughts felt fragmented. He had been in his room. And now he wasn’t. Or had he been somewhere else?  There were bits missing, and no logical progression of the things he thought he knew but when he tried too hard to remember, it hurt. So he focused on the present. On what he knew now. Which also hurt, but in a more tangible way.</p>
<p>It was dark, wherever he was, and a rank, animal odour filled the air. He took a deeper breath and dust tickled the back of his throat, making him cough and retch. He wasn’t on the Resistance base, that much was certain, but didn’t exactly narrow it down much. He’d no idea how long he’d been out for, how far he could have travelled. He carefully manoeuvred into a sitting position, the movement making his head throb, but it was better than breathing dust and animal shit off the floor.  </p>
<p>As his brain slowly came on line, it became rapidly apparent that he’d been kidnapped, but by who? He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to piece together the scraps of recollection that floated through his mind… The conspiracy against Ren. Convincing Leia to launch an attack. Ren telling him he’d go— that idiot! Had he gotten himself killed?</p>
<p>He tried to reach out to Ren, to call his name in his head in case he was listening, but he could already tell he wasn’t there. The space he usually occupied felt too cold, too empty. Worry pervaded Hux’s every thought but he tried not to let it overcome him. Panic would get him nowhere. Just because he had no idea where he was, who was driving the transport, what had happened to Ren… It didn’t mean he was without escape. He’d get out of this.</p>
<p>Light leaked in through cracks high up on the wall. It striped the floor, creating dancing patterns that moved in time with the cell, catching on the shifting swirl of dust in the air making it twinkle. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to enable him to work out that he was in some kind of small cargo hold or junk room, but not on a shuttle—the motion was too jerky—it must be a land transport.</p>
<p>He took in his surroundings, his body swaying with the motion of the transport, his head bouncing off the wall. There were a few crates against one side, and various spare parts—straps, wires, pipes, torn fabric, bits of droid—hung from hooks on the other wall. More junk littered the floor. Hux recognised a few bits but even in the limited light, he could tell that most of it was beyond any use but as scrap. He managed to get up onto his feet after only a brief struggle. The swaying floor didn’t help his balance, and he was hit with a wave of dizziness that had him leaning against the wall to stop from falling. It passed after a few careful breaths, but the throbbing in his skull didn’t ease, blurring his vision with each pulse. The skin on one side of his face prickled, hot and uncomfortable, and he suspected it was swollen. There was also what looked like dried blood on his shirt, which suggested there was a gash there too.</p>
<p>One of the thin cracks in the wall was around head height, so he inched towards it on rubbery legs, supporting himself with one shoulder against the wall. If he could just see what was beyond the four walls of his current prison, he might be able to figure out where he was.</p>
<p>A sudden, juddering lurch threw him off his feet before he got there. He bit off a curse as he slammed into the floor, a loose piece of junk cutting into his arm. Pain lanced through him, bringing with it a wave of nausea that had him curled over on his side, breathing with intense focus until the desire to puke ebbed away.</p>
<p>He was still curled in a foetal position when a hatch in the far wall opened. Hux squinted against the bright sunlight that flooded in and it took him a few moments to realise there was a person standing there, silhouetted against the rocky desert. They were human, Hux thought, or humanoid at least, and as his eyes got accustomed to the light brightness, he could make out more features; squat body, wide shoulders, goggles pushed up on his forehead, ragged clothes that looked like they might once have been expensive. He spat loudly, wetly, onto the floor and stepped closer. </p>
<p>Hux tensed. He didn’t recognise the man, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t ever had any contact with him—he’d met, and pissed off, a lot of people in his life.  </p>
<p>The man’s face registered his surprise when he noticed Hux blinking up at him. He swore under his breath, but recovered quickly, shouting to someone over his shoulder. “He’s up. You said that stuff would knock him out for days! You want me to dose him again?” </p>
<p><i>Dose him?</i> He’d been drugged? That would explain some of the fogginess, at least. </p>
<p>He lay still as the man scrutinised him, keeping a wary distance as if Hux were some kind of dangerous creature. A dozen questions raced through his mind but the look on the man’s face kept him from voicing any. </p>
<p>The man muttered something, apparently satisfied with his observation, then ducked out of the hold. Hux heard raised voices outside—at least two different people, perhaps three. Too many for him to take on even if his hands weren’t tied behind his back. Hux couldn’t make out individual words, but the exchange sounded agitated. He considered shuffling a little closer to the hatch to eavesdrop, but then the same man appeared again, pausing at the hatch before lumbering into the hold. The space instantly felt ten times smaller.</p>
<p>“Lucky for you, boss wants you in one piece,” he snarled, standing over Hux. “Never said nothing about not wanting you bashed about a bit though.” He pulled his foot back and landed a kick to Hux’s stomach. </p>
<p>Hux grunted at the impact, gritting his teeth to prevent himself from crying out. The man laughed and kicked him again.</p>
<p>“It ain’t right, you know that?” The man continued. “They should string you up, let us all take a pop. Murdering scumbag.”</p>
<p>Hux glared at him.</p>
<p>“Cat got your tongue, General?” He spat the word as if it personally offended him. “Not like you to have nothing to say.” </p>
<p>Hux continued to glare, daring the man to kick him. </p>
<p>“Rask, stop playing and knock him out,” shouted a second voice, accompanied by the dull clanging of fist hitting the side of the hold. “We need to meet the contact by sun down.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” the man, Rask, grumbled. “Bloody kid is so impatient. We were just having a bit of fun, eh, General?” </p>
<p>Rask pulled a small pouch from the folds of his loose clothing. He knelt down in front of Hux and grabbed a fistful of Hux’s hair. With the other hand, he flicked a switch on a small cylindrical object—a syringe? He yanked Hux’s head back, making him hiss through his teeth. This close, he could see the patchy black stubble on Rask’s face, the rosacea on his nose and cheeks.</p>
<p>“This won’t hurt a bit.” Rask’s breath was hot and sour against his cheek as he leaned over Hux, his grip painfully tight in Hux’s hair. He pressed the syringe against Hux’s neck and pressed the end.</p>
<p>Hux felt a sharp prick and then a hazy warmth slowly spread out through his body, making his fingertips tingle and slowing his thoughts. He blinked, eyelids heavy. Rask said something and grinned, all crooked, browning teeth. Then he released Hux’s hair, letting his head fall back to the floor. Hux opened his eyes in time to see Rask spit, and felt the wet heat of his saliva on his cheek. He couldn’t muster the repulsion he knew he should feel. He couldn’t even open his mouth to curse the man. </p>
<p>
  <i>Where the kriff are you, Ren?</i>
</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Kylo’s head felt thick, a heavy weight on his shoulders. His thoughts sloshed around like mush. There was something he should be doing, but it kept slipping through his fingers. He could hear crying, so he wandered the empty hallways, trying to find the source. He had no idea where he was. Nothing looked familiar, but he found the crier without any problem. A small boy. Hux, his brain supplied. He didn’t look up when Kylo entered the room; didn’t look up the whole time Kylo stood there staring at him. He wasn’t even sure how long that had been now. Had he just got here?</p>
<p>The scene flickered, as if two different holos were playing one on top of the other. One second he was looking at child-Hux, lying on top of the blankets, face pressed into a pillow. The next second, he was somewhere darker, dirtier, a place that reminded Kylo of the dusty, junk-strewn workshop Han had kept at Kylo’s childhood home, an adult Hux curled on the floor, so still, so pale, Kylo thought him dead. </p>
<p>“Hux? What’s going on?”</p>
<p>The second image faded. Child-Hux didn’t lift his head up from his pillow. He curled in on himself, sniffling. Kylo had assumed he was in one of Hux’s nightmares, but perhaps it was a normal dream. </p>
<p>“Hux?” he tried again. The only acknowledgement was a heaving breath, a tightening of the arms around the pillow.</p>
<p>It reminded him of how things used to be, before Hux had learned to better control his dreams; when Kylo had to watch him relive hated moments from his past. Kylo frowned. His chest felt tight, like he was the pillow crushed by Hux’s scrawny arms.</p>
<p>“What’s happening?”</p>
<p>Child-Hux looked up at that, the withering glare an accurate recreation of a look Kylo was very used to seeing on adult Hux. He had a black eye and the whole side of his face was swollen.</p>
<p>Kylo surged forward and Hux flinched back. “Who did this to you? Why aren’t we in the officer’s mess or walking by the lake?”</p>
<p>“I thought you were dead. Where did you go?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t go anywhere.”</p>
<p>“Can you turn off the beeping?”</p>
<p>“The what?” Kylo listened and he could hear it, the insistent <i>beep beep beep.</i> An alarm? “I’m not making that sound.”</p>
<p>“Well it’s not me. Wake up, Kylo.”</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Kylo opened his eyes and immediately shut them again. It was too bright. A sterile light. It stung. Something was wrong. Had that been one of Hux’s dreams? He opened them more carefully the second time. The tightness in his chest was still there, but he saw now it was the gentle constriction of a bacta suit, weighted to keep him flat. He tried to sit up—he needed to get this shit off him and find out where he was—but quickly found his arms and legs were restrained.</p>
<p>The beeping grew louder, more insistent.</p>
<p>“Sir, you need to calm down.”</p>
<p>He startled at the voice and found a medical droid stood beside the console that was emitting the infernal beeping. He clenched his jaw and tried harder to pull his wrists free of the restraints. Pain lanced through his chest and he lay back, breathing roughly through the pain. The oxygen mask on his face amplified the noise and it filled the room. He growled, focusing his rage, his confusion, on the restraints, ripping through them with the Force.</p>
<p>“Sir, I—” </p>
<p>The restraints fell off and he freed himself from the suit, tearing it from his body, pulling out wires, splashing bacta everywhere. Alarms wailed, adding to the beeping, the rasping breaths. He silenced them with a gesture. Crushing the circuit boards in the life support console. His head was pounding. His body ached. He quickly scanned the room for his clothes or his lightsaber but saw nothing. </p>
<p>“Sir, you must return to the bacta suit. Your treatment requires you spend at least another full cycle in the suit. Preferably two.” </p>
<p>Kylo ignored the droid’s fussing. He swung his legs off the bed and tried to figure out his next move. He was naked except for his bacta-soaked underwear, he was unarmed, and he had no fucking clue where he was. He probably had seconds before someone entered to find out what all the commotion was. Maybe the droid had already summoned someone. </p>
<p>He gently probed his connection to Hux, but with a sickening lurch, found it dead. He frowned. Pushed harder. Hux had to be okay. He’d just seen him; he would know if something had happened, wouldn’t he? There was still nothing, though. Just… a blankness; a shifting mass of emptiness that he couldn’t focus on. It was like the connection disappeared into dense fog. It scared him, but he couldn’t do anything until he got out of this place.</p>
<p>A deeper search of the room revealed nothing but medical supplies. Still no sign of his belongings. He tried to send his mind out, to check if anyone was coming but it hurt, like nails pushing into his skin. There were too many, all shouting, singing, surging with joy and celebration and relief. He was used to the calm blankness of Stormtroopers, their thoughts soft and buzzing; small spikes of emotion, easily snuffed out. But under the overwhelming happiness, he also found fear. Anger. Those feelings appeared to be directed toward him specifically, sometimes Hux, the Order. He strained to pick out individual thoughts, but everything was twisted together, the threads hard to discern. </p>
<p>Except… Two minds were different. They stood out. Calling to him. Shining bright above all others. Rey and... Leia. </p>
<p>What were they doing here? His hands curled into fists and he struck the bulkhead before he knew what was happening, releasing a bellow that scraped his throat raw. He knew with sudden clarity that he was with the Resistance. What the fuck had happened?</p>
<p>He wasn’t going to sit around like a karking nerf waiting for slaughter. He stumbled across the room, legs weak, and forced the door open. The corridor was empty. He picked a direction at random, trusting in the Force to guide him, and staggered along it, dripping bacta and blood as he went. </p>
<p>If he was on the Resistance base, then Hux must be here. Multiple voices talked over themselves in his head as he sent his mind out again, ignoring the pain as he searched, not bothering to mask his presence as he skimmed head after head. There was a group of people ahead of him where the corridor opened into a larger space. Tension crackled around them. No one had noticed his approach yet, all eyes focused on a few central figures who were discussing something in hard tones. This must be why his room had been unguarded, why no one had challenged him.</p>
<p>He emerged into the rear of a common area that had been outfitted as some kind of command centre. A hush descended as one by one, every head, every pair of eyes turned towards him. Kylo could only see one person, though. </p>
<p>“Ben.”</p>
<p>He flinched at the name. Leia stepped forward, reaching for him before remembering herself and aborting the motion. </p>
<p>“What am I doing here?” he growled. Everyone was staring, their hands on their weapons, no one moved.</p>
<p>No one except Rey, that was. She came up to Leia’s side. “You were injured on Taiig. We pulled you out and brought you here to recover.” </p>
<p>“She’s underselling it a bit,” another voice added. Poe. Kylo glared at his irritatingly smug face. He hadn’t changed a bit. “She stopped a wall from completely crushing you, held it mid-air and threw it aside like it was nothing. It was nuts.”</p>
<p>A few murmurs broke out. Excited recounting of the event. Worry about what he would do next. People were still staring, suspicious, angry, fearful eyes boring into him. Kylo held his head high in defiance of his state of undress, but his skin was sticky and cold, and there was a tremor running through his legs that was surely visible to anyone who glanced down. He hated it. He wanted to choke them all. Cut them down. His fingers itched to reach for his missing lightsaber.</p>
<p>“Okay everyone,” Leia clapped her hands and brought the attention of the room back on her. “I think that’s as far as we can get now. Despite our losses, this was a success. Go, celebrate our victory, spend time with your friends, your loved ones. We can finish the debrief tomorrow. ”</p>
<p>With some reluctance, people shuffled out of the ship. None of them looked happy about it, but neither were they willing to go against Leia. Kylo could feel Rey’s eyes on him, could feel her Force presence wrapping around him—was she looking for weakness? He shielded his mind, shoved her searching presence away from him roughly and delighted in her wince. It took a lot out of him though, and he instantly regretted it when his vision wavered and the room started to spin around him.</p>
<p>Only Rey, Leia, Poe, and one other person he didn’t recognise were left when he fell forwards, knees crunching into the hard floor.</p>
<p>“Ben!”</p>
<p> His head pounded. He didn’t need their concern. He wanted to know where Hux was; wanted to know what had happened to him. This hadn’t been part of the plan. He tolerated Rey helping him to his feet, but shook her off once he was standing again. </p>
<p>Leia kept her distance. She looked concerned, but held back from closing the distance between them. He didn’t blame her. She probably imagined he’d kill her like he’d killed Han.</p>
<p>“Where’s Hux?” he growled. Tremors gripped his body. He curled his hands into fists to hide the shaking. </p>
<p>The others exchanged knowing glances that riled Kylo further.</p>
<p>“You need to rest,” Leia said. “You suffered a severe trauma. Please—”</p>
<p>“I need to find Hux. He was here. What have you done with him?”</p>
<p>The man he didn’t know had been stood off to the side scowling, but Kylo caught him rolling his eyes. He snarled, wrapped the Force around his neck, a teasing touch, and smirked when the man’s eyes widened, hands going to his throat. </p>
<p>“Oh no. No no no. I <i>said</i> we should have left him there, didn’t I say that? Did you not see what he just did to me!? He’s an animal.”</p>
<p>“Ben, play nice,” Rey snapped. Kylo released his hold, but only because manipulating the Force required a lot of focus and he could feel his grip on consciousness slipping again. The man dropped to the floor, spitting and hissing like an angry cat. “Finn, why don’t you go wait outside?”</p>
<p>“Fuck that, I’m not leaving you alone with him.”</p>
<p>Rey rolled her eyes. “Yeah? And what are you going to do if he tries anything? Go on, I’ll be fine. <i>We’ll</i> be fine. I’ll find you later.”</p>
<p>Kylo’s patience was wearing thin. His body wouldn’t stop trembling, every breath hurt, and his vision was wavering in and out of focus. The only thing keeping him upright at that moment was the need to find Hux. He kept probing the link, worrying at it like a sore tooth, but there was nothing there. Just the fog. </p>
<p>“What do you want with Hux?” Rey asked after Finn had grudgingly left. It appeared she had taken the role of official spokesperson for the group; Poe and Leia watched on. </p>
<p>“It’s none of your concern.” He started to pace despite his legs feeling like they could give out again at any minute. He needed to do something, though; needed to… to break something. To hurt someone. Anything. To release the tightness in his chest. To drain the tension. He wanted his lightsaber. His clothes. He wanted Hux. Why would no one tell him where he was? “What’s happened? Where is he? I know he was here.” He slammed his already-bloodied fist into the console behind Rey’s head, using every inch of his height to loom over her. She barely flinched, matching his glare with one of her own. He thought he heard Leia gasp.</p>
<p>“Hey! Hey, you need to calm down,” Poe said, trying to insert himself between them. “Look, you gotta understand that we don’t know what happened but Hux is, um…” Poe paused, seeming to think carefully about his next words. Kylo glared at him. He recalled how often Poe had been in Hux’s thoughts and it was an effort not to lash out. </p>
<p>“What? Tell me.”</p>
<p>Poe stepped back, dragged a hand through his hair. Huffed out a breath. “Uh, well. He’s gone. And we don’t know where.”</p>
<p>Kylo rounded on him, hand out, lip curled. He would wipe that cocky grin off his face. He would crush the life out of him. He would— Rey ignited her lightsaber and she was in front of him again, shoving Poe away, daring Kylo to act.</p>
<p>“You lost him?” he ground out. Everything was starting to blur. His gorge rising. Rey’s lightsaber filled the room with a blue glow and the hum of the blade buzzed like static in Kylo’s head. Hux was gone? He would have said if he’d left as planned, wouldn’t he? …Unless he never intended to follow through with the plan. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d betrayed Kylo after all. </p>
<p>“We didn’t lose him, he left,” Rey said, her voice soft. She was still wielding her lightsaber, but let it drop to a less immediately threatening angle. “Along with a few other people.”</p>
<p>Kylo growled and glared out of the viewport. There was nothing to see but a rock face. Were they in a cave? A droid trilled and Kylo noticed Poe’s obnoxious BB unit for the first time. He hated that thing. Poe treated it like a pet; he was worse than Hux was with Millicent—</p>
<p>“His cat,” Kylo said, turning to face the others. They were huddled around a datapad.</p>
<p>“Millie?” </p>
<p>Kylo grimaced at the familiarity in Poe’s tone. “Yes, Millicent. Is she here? He wouldn’t have left her behind.”</p>
<p>“I haven’t seen her, but if anyone would know,” Poe’s confusion cleared and he brightened, “Rose would. I’ll go check.” He hurried to the exit, before turning to Leia. “If that’s okay? I mean—”</p>
<p>“Go,” Leia urged. “Ben’s right. He wouldn’t have left without that damn cat.” She pursed her lips, pensive.</p>
<p>“You think he’s in danger, then?” Rey asked her, staring after Poe’s back as he left. </p>
<p>“I’m more concerned about what it might mean for our missing operatives,” Leia replied coolly.</p>
<p>Kylo growled. Of course she only cared about her little soldiers. He wanted to pace some more, wanted to put his fist through the console, but he thought he might fall if he left the safety of the wall he was leaning against. Exhaustion dragged at his limbs and he gave into it, sliding down the wall to sit with his legs bent to his chest, scrubbing his hands over his face. </p>
<p>“Here, drink this.” Leia held out a steaming mug of tea and he realised he must have zoned out for a bit. He’d not noticed her approach at all. He accepted the tea wordlessly. It was sweetened with honey, the way she used to make it when he was younger. “You might want this too.” She handed him a blanket and he took it automatically, throwing it around his shoulders with one hand. Conflicting feelings swirled inside his head. He hated it, being surrounded by these people, being stared at with pity, concern, fear. But it was something of a relief to be off the Finalizer, to be away from the Order and all the constant demands. He set the tea down after only a couple of sips, tugged the blanket more securely around his shoulders and dropped his head to his knees. </p>
<p>“Look who I found!” Poe announced, striding into the room half an hour later brandishing a ginger cat who could only be the infamous Millicent. He offered her expectantly to Kylo. “Go on,” he urged, when Kylo made no move to take her. </p>
<p>Not knowing what else to do, Kylo let Poe drop Millicent into his lap. He looked at her looking up at him with an imperious gaze and felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips—the way she was managing to look down her nose at him despite being smaller was so very Hux-like he could help it. He was aware of the conversation continuing around him, but he didn’t pay attention, captivated as he was by Millicent. </p>
<p>A spike in concern from Rey snapped his attention back to the room.</p>
<p>“Why do you think they kidnapped him?” Rey asked. </p>
<p>“He was kidnapped?” Kylo jerked upright, startling Millicent who demonstrated her displeasure with claws. She remained on his lap, though. “How could you let this happen?”</p>
<p>“Honestly, I’m surprised it took this long for something to happen,” Poe said. “He didn’t exactly make any effort to endear himself to people or seem remotely sorry for anything he did.”</p>
<p>“Fuck you. Without him, you’d have nothing. You’d still be searching the galaxy for scraps of information about the Order—”</p>
<p>“That’s enough!” snapped Leia. “If Hux has been kidnapped by our soldiers we need to find out why they took him and we need them brought to justice.”</p>
<p>Poe turned to Kylo. “Wait, I thought you could talk through some, uh, magicky thing. Can’t you just ask him where he is?”</p>
<p>Kylo frowned. Hux had told them about the bond? He shook his head. “I’ve tried. His mind is… fractured. Hazy. It’s not normally like this. I think he’s been hurt or drugged or something.”</p>
<p>Leia stared at him. “It’s true then? You’re really bonded,” Leia said, as if just realising something. “Hux said you could speak in dreams but I wasn’t sure…”</p>
<p>“It’s not a proper bond,” he said hastily, looking down at Millicent, trailing his fingers along her spine. If it had been done properly, then he’d have no trouble finding Hux. And Hux would be able to talk to him too. Ask for help if he needed it rather than waiting for Kylo to notice he’d been kriffing kidnapped.</p>
<p>“But you can communicate? Share dreams? Emotions?” Leia asked.</p>
<p>Kylo could feel them staring but he kept his gaze trained on Millicent. He didn’t need to look at them to know they were judging him, pitying, hating him. There was concern there too, and hope. His head spun with it, the conflicting thoughts and emotions he was too tired to keep out. Leia and Rey louder than Poe, but all projecting loudly, unnecessarily. </p>
<p>“I didn’t even think it was possible—is Hux Force sensitive?” Rey asked. “I tried to sense it on him, but your presence was overwhelming and masked almost everything.”</p>
<p>“No, if Hux could use the Force, we’d have felt it,” Leia said, answering for him.</p>
<p>“None of this is helping to get him back,” Kylo snapped. Why did everything have to turn into a discussion? Millicent purred softly in his lap, and he focused on her calming presence.</p>
<p>“Get some rest, Ben. We’ll do our best to track down Hux and our missing soldiers, but there’s nothing more you can do now.”</p>
<p>Kylo was prepared to argue, but as he stood up, his vision blurred again and his knees almost gave way. Millicent scrambled up to his shoulders, claws digging in all the way. </p>
<p>Leia glared at him. “Go, rest.”</p>
<p>He grudgingly let Rey lead him to a bed in the medbay—not the private room he’d only recently destroyed, suggesting that they were aware of what he’d done—but a cot in a room with three other beds (all empty, thankfully). A medical droid sat motionless in the corner and various monitors blinked. Relief washed over him as he finally lay down. He was dimly aware of Rey talking but he didn’t hear anything she said. He thought he felt her drape a blanket over him, thought he felt Millicent settle in the crook of his neck, thought he felt the prick of a needle, but he couldn’t muster any concern. He lapsed into unconsciousness, mind blissfully blank for once. </p>
<p>* * * </p>
<p>When Hux awoke the next time, he found himself in a somewhat more stationary cell. It still stunk of animal crap, it was still unbearably hot, but at least the floor wasn’t moving. The walls of the place were a dirty white, although it was hard to tell whether that was by design or age, and the stone floor was covered in sand. Or perhaps it was just sand. A hovel plonked directly on to whatever hellish desert planet he’d been dragged to.</p>
<p>A rough kick to his stomach made it rapidly apparent why he was awake when his head still felt full of wool. He groaned and curled into himself, trying to make himself a smaller target. He thought for a second it was another nightmare, that he was reliving one of the many occasions he’d taken a beating at school, but nothing felt right. It was too hot, too dry for a start. And not even the locker rooms at the academy had ever smelled this bad. The stench of stale sweat was almost overpowering and Hux struggled not to gag.</p>
<p>“Come on, you shit. Gotta at least drink or you won’t stay alive long enough for the handover.” Rask. Fuck. Another kick landed in the soft flesh of his abdomen. He clenched his jaw and tried to shuffle away. He shuddered remembering that face close to his, those filthy hands in his hair.</p>
<p>“Going to drug me again?” he spat, hating the amused look on Rask’s face. He knew exactly how much power he had over Hux and he was enjoying it far too much. The small, scared boy who dwelt inside him at all times fought back helpless tears in the face of a bully, but adult Hux knew he deserved every ounce of Rask’s vitriol. He didn’t like it, but he accepted it. And he filed away his face so when the time came, he’d be able to exact his revenge.</p>
<p>“As much as I’d love to, boss wants you lucid for the exchange. Besides, I’d rather you were awake to see what was coming. Much more fun that way.”</p>
<p>“Who are you? Is anyone actually going to tell me what’s going on?” Hux said, letting frustration take control of his tongue.</p>
<p>Rask laughed, a horrible phlegmy sound. “There’s quite the price on your head. Lotta people want to have you for themselves. We’re just… facilitating that.”</p>
<p>Hux’s stomach sank. “You’re selling me to slavers?”</p>
<p>“You wish you were so lucky. Nah, boss has got some rich guy lined up, and you know the wealthy ones are the most depraved buggers out there.” The man grinned, all yellowed teeth and chapped lips. “Come on then, drink up. Can’t have you dying of thirst.”</p>
<p>Hux wanted to refuse the canteen but his throat was parched, and dehydration didn’t seem like a particularly quick or pleasant way to go if he were to try to end things prematurely.</p>
<p>He shuffled upright, with no help from the man. His bladder was uncomfortably full. “Can you at least take the restraints off?”</p>
<p>“So you can try and fight me?” </p>
<p>“Would you rather hold my dick while I piss?” The man grimaced, and with a blaster trained on Hux’s head, reached around and disengaged the cuffs.</p>
<p>Hux sighed with relief, rubbing feeling back into his wrists. </p>
<p>“Drink this.” The man chucked the canteen at Hux’s chest. “And don’t try anything funny or the cuffs are going back on and you can piss your pants for all I care.” He scooped the cuffs off the floor and left Hux alone with the canteen.</p>
<p>The water was warm and there was a slightly metallic, slightly leafy taste to it that Hux didn’t want to dwell on, but it was a welcome relief to the dryness in his mouth. He drank deeply, not bothering to ration himself.  They obviously didn’t want him dead. Once done, he relieved himself in the corner furthest from the door, seeing no better alternative. Not even a bucket. He didn’t trust them not to make him drink his own piss if he used the now-empty canteen.</p>
<p>He let his thoughts wander as he paced the dusty cell, waiting for whatever crap was going to be shovelled on him next. His head still hurt, but it didn’t feel like a Ren-shaped headache for a change, just regular head trauma. The part of his mind that Ren usually dwelt in was worryingly empty, although he had vague recollections of seeing a shade of him while unconscious, of feeling something niggling at their connection. It troubled him more than he liked, not knowing where Ren was or whether he was safe. He was desperate for any kind of sign that he still lived, and he tried more than once to follow the connection; tried to envisage his consciousness tugging on the thread and following it across the galaxy. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing though. It was like trying to teach himself to grow wings and fly.</p>
<p>He spent some time feeling along the wall, searching for any weakness he could exploit, but the walls were surprisingly solid. His face throbbed as he paced, and a tentative prod told him it was still swollen. Judging from the stubble on his jaw, he’d been gone from the Resistance base at least two standard cycles, but likely longer. </p>
<p>There was a small window—more of a hole really—high up on the back wall and he tried to hoist himself up, but his arms were so sore from having been bound behind his back for kriff knew how long, he could barely raise them above his head. He’d managed to open up the wound in his arm again too, fresh blood spotting his sleeve and trickling down his arm. He couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t in constant pain. His stomach cramped painfully as he made another circuit of the cell—lack of food, probably. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate. It could have been the unsanitary water, though. Stars. He hoped he hadn’t just poisoned himself. </p>
<p>With nothing better to do, and no strength to continue pacing, Hux wedged himself in the corner opposite the piss corner and closed his eyes. He tried again to send his mind out to Ren, to see if he could sense if he was still out there, but it was futile, so instead, he settled for talking to him in his head as if he were there. Perhaps Ren was out there somewhere and could listen even if he couldn’t interact. It made Hux feel slightly better to imagine he wasn’t completely alone in the arse end of the galaxy.</p>
<p>He must have slipped into a doze at some point. He awoke, still wedged in the corner, a crick in his neck to add to his long list of complaints, and the sound of someone calling his name.</p>
<p>
  <i>Hux? Are you there? If you can hear me give me some sort of indication. I need to know you’re okay.</i>
</p>
<p>He sat up straight. <i>Ren? You’re alive?</i></p>
<p>An overwhelming sense of relief washed over Hux at the sound of Ren’s voice in his head once more; at the feeling of his presence. He knew part of that relief was Ren’s though. It was almost palpable. He scrubbed his hands over his face, marvelling that this man had once been the bane of his existence.</p>
<p>
  <i>Alive. Yeah. You?</i>
</p>
<p><i>Just about.</i> Hux laughed softly, disbelieving. He felt giddy. Ren. He wasn’t alone. There could be a way out that didn’t end with his death.</p>
<p>
  <i>Where are you?</i>
</p>
<p>Hux’s excitement sapped away. <i>You can’t… find me?</i></p>
<p>
  <i>That’s not how the Force works. Not at this distance, anyway.</i>
</p>
<p><i>Fuck. I’ve seen nothing but the inside of a cell for kriff knows how long. I’ve no bloody clue where I am.</i> He thought for a moment. It went against his nature to be helpful to Ren, but since it served his best interests… <i>I think it’s a desert world. It’s dry and sandy. Rocks everywhere. If that helps.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Okay. Are you hurt?</i>
</p>
<p>Hux paused. How much should he reveal? Too much and Ren would probably do something rash. They needed to plan their next move carefully no matter the rapidly diminishing timescale.  <i>Not especially. I’ve definitely felt better but I doubt they’ll do too much damage—apparently I won’t fetch a decent price if I’m damaged.</i></p>
<p>He winced as he felt the sharp spike of Ren’s concern.<i>Price?</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Yes. Apparently I’m to be sold.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>To who?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>How the fuck should I know! Do you think I have any say in the matter?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Well, do you recognise anyone? Did they give you anything?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>No. I don’t, and no they didn’t. I’m not being deliberately obtuse, you know. I do actually want to escape, but I’ve been unconscious for days.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Leia thinks it was an inside job. A couple of their soldiers are missing. They were the ones who were selling information about your whereabouts.</i>
</p>
<p>He recalled Ren’s warning. <i>The danger you saw. In your vision… Wait. Leia? Are you there now? The Resistance base?</i></p>
<p><i>Yes. they… There was an accident.</i> Ren paused. Hux could feel his reluctance to continue. And was there some embarrassment?  <i>I guess they rescued me from Taiig.</i></p>
<p>He couldn’t help but feel smug at the admission, but decided it would be unhelpful to comment—no doubt he could sense Hux’s smugness well enough through the link anyway. And besides, another thought had quickly taken over his mind. If Ren was on the Resistance base, that could mean… <i>Millicent— Is she there? Have you seen her?</i></p>
<p><i>She’s fine, Hux. She’s a cat.</i> The eye roll was evident, but there was fondness there too. Hux held onto it. <i>She kind of looks like you, did you know that?</i></p>
<p><i>Piss off, Ren,</i> he replied, though with no real bite. Millicent was alive. Ren was alive. Everything else would fall into place soon.</p>
<p>The conversation meandered. Hux asked for more details about Millicent’s welfare, Ren grudgingly obliged him, and they shared what they knew about what had happened. It was… nice. Comforting in a way Hux hadn’t known he needed.</p>
<p>Eventually Ren’s thoughts started to slur into incoherence. </p>
<p>
  <i>I’ll find you. Just… stay alive. For me.</i>
</p>
<p>“You too,” Hux muttered as he felt the connection go quiet.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Kylo huffed, frustrated, and shook his head, his hands. Tried to recentre himself. Millicent blinked up at him slowly, irritated at being jostled. He was sat cross-legged on Hux’s bed, as he had been for most of the last cycle, Millicent curled up beside him. He’d assured Hux he’d find him, but he still wasn’t sure how. Leia’s efforts to trace the encrypted communications had come to nothing, and no one had seen Hux or the missing Resistance soldiers leave. They had vanished. Lost to the galaxy. If he hadn’t been able to reach Hux through the link, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. At the very least, he knew he was alive, but for how long? </p>
<p>He let his mind drift again allowing the Force to guide his direction with only a slight nudge now and then to shift the focus. He was trying to follow the link, to use it as a guide to lead him to Hux’s physical location, but every time he felt close to seeing something, to fixing a location, his control slipped. The link between their minds was too strong. It pulled him in before he could process what was happening. </p>
<p>There was very little of a personal nature in Hux’s room, but Kylo had hoped that being around his possessions, his residual energy, would help to focus his mind. And it had, to a certain extent, but it still wasn’t enough. He was so close, but he still needed more; that last push to get over the edge. The longer he tried, the harder it was becoming, though. He’d have to stop and rest soon, but he couldn’t. Hux didn’t have much time left.</p>
<p>He’d lost track of how long he’d spent meditating on Hux’s bed. The sounds of the camp filtering into Hux’s room had changed as people woke up and went about the day; the air had warmed, becoming humid and uncomfortable; Millicent had come and gone. Still he sat there. No one bothered him, though he was sure they were watching. </p>
<p>“Budge up, then.” </p>
<p>Kylo exhaled sharply at the intrusion.“Why are you here?” he grunted, without opening his eyes. He’d felt Rey approach from across the camp, had known she was headed towards him, but still he’d hoped she might pass him by. The mattress dipped as she sat down.</p>
<p>“You’ve been shut in here all day and you’re no closer to locating him. Let me help you. We could combine our strength.”</p>
<p>He sighed and opened his eyes. “It won’t work.”</p>
<p>“Why are you so sure? If we just try—”</p>
<p>“No!” Millicent hissed at his raised voice. “This is pointless. He’s been taken by <i>your</i> people. If he’s harmed, I won’t stop until every one of you pays for letting this happen.”</p>
<p>Rey was irritatingly undaunted by the threat. “We’re trying everything we can to trace the ship, which is more than he deserves. So shut up and we’ll try this together. You can’t dismiss my idea without at least trying it.”</p>
<p>He hated that she made sense. “Why are you helping if you think he deserves to die?”</p>
<p>“Because…” She shook her head. “I don’t know. I just feel like I should. He’s a terrible person, though.”</p>
<p>“He’s not bad. He’s just—”</p>
<p>“No, don’t excuse his behaviour. Come on, let’s just do this before I change my mind.”</p>
<p>He shuffled down the bed and they settled opposite each other, knees almost touching, hands together. He could feel her power almost immediately, flowing through him, and he let her take what she needed from him; showed her the link, let her explore it, and then they were off. The galaxy bent to their whims. Kylo was amazed by how easily their powers complimented each other—he’d had a glimpse before, but this was something else, neither of them holding back as the Force coursed through them. The threads of the connection shone bright and Kylo guided her along it while she kept him from getting pulled in too far. A balancing act. Between them, Millicent purred, a warm weight providing an additional connection to Hux and giving Kylo something concrete to focus on.  </p>
<p>*</p>
<p> “It worked.” Kylo couldn’t keep the amazement out of his voice. Their combined power still thrummed through him. It was slightly dimmed through exhaustion, but no less exhilarating. </p>
<p>“It’s not an exact location,” Rey warned, caution tempering her tone. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement. “It could be one of several worlds in that sector—we shouldn’t rush in.” </p>
<p>“It’s close enough. And with the description he’s given— I can find him.” Kylo unfolded from the bed and shook his legs out. It was impossible to tell how long it had taken them, the passage of time difficult to mark with no view of the outdoors, but judging by the stiffness in his knees, it had been a while. </p>
<p>“If you wait, we can rest, try again tomorrow, narrow it down further.”</p>
<p>He spun around to face her. She was still sitting on the bed, knees pulled up to her chest. “No,” he snapped. “There’s no time.”</p>
<p>“Ben, it’s late, you’re exhausted, I’m exhausted. Just wait until the morning. You’ve been here all day, you haven’t eaten, you’re still injured. You’re no use to him like this.”</p>
<p>Kylo’s stomach clenched at the reminder of the lack of food. He wanted to protest more but she was right, as usual. He wouldn’t get very far in his current state. Sensing his acquiescence, Rey hopped off the bed and backed towards the door.</p>
<p>“Stay here— I’ll bring you something to eat, okay?”</p>
<p>“Fine.” He sat down and rubbed his hands over his face. His eyes were gritty, his mouth was dry, but he was happy. </p>
<p><i>I’m coming to get you,</i> he projected into Hux’s mind. <i>Just a little while longer.</i></p>
<p>The relief he felt through the link was enough to soothe all the pain in his aching muscles. He smiled to himself. </p>
<p>
  <i>Soon.</i>
</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>“Based on the information made available to us,” Leia glanced at Kylo and Rey who were stood together to one side of the group, “we believe we’ve narrowed down the location of the fugitives to one of these planets.” On the holoprojection in the centre of the room, she zoomed in on a sector and highlighted a couple of small worlds, not too far from their current location. “X5-c and X5-e. We’ll launch a scouting mission at first light to give us a chance to ready the shuttles and make a proper plan.” She shot Kylo a pointed look. “We will not be engaging the enemy at this point. We just need to locate the fugitives and go from there. Is that clear? And I shouldn’t need to remind you that we will require all targets to be captured, not killed. No one is to take justice into their own hands.”</p>
<p>Kylo kept his mouth shut. He should have anticipated that Rey would run straight to Leia, but there was nothing to be done about it now. He had no intention of waiting, though.</p>
<p>“Okay, dismissed. Dameron, Pava, and the rest of Black squadron, see that your crafts are readied for tomorrow and go rest up.”</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Kylo waited until the camp had fallen silent, a loose plan taking shape in his head. He’d gently probed Hux’s mind despite lingering exhaustion from the day spent pushing his powers to the limit, but the connection was weak and he’d decided not to trouble him. Hux knew he was coming. That was enough. He was confident he’d have no problem pinpointing Hux’s location once he got to the right sector planet. He just needed to steal a ship.</p>
<p>The Millennium Falcon looked exactly as he remembered it. He had to pause for a moment as he approached it, memories hitting him hard and fast. He hated this ship and everything it represented, but it was his best chance of getting to Hux. Millicent squirmed in his arms and he gently shushed her. The last thing he needed was to have to chase through the undergrowth after her. A couple of technicians walked past, grumbling about the weather and he hastened towards the ship. He’d cloaked himself with the Force to prevent people noticing him, but even so, he didn’t want to hang around. </p>
<p>“I knew you wouldn’t wait to do things the way Leia wanted.” The voice came from beneath the Falcon’s ramp. He wasn’t surprised at all when Rey stepped out from the shadows. Of course she’d turn up.</p>
<p>“Are you going to stop me?”</p>
<p>Rey folded her arms over her chest, pursed her lips and looked off to the side. “I should. You’re still in no state to be rushing off into conflict. And I doubt you’ll be paying much attention to Leia’s capture-not-kill directive.”</p>
<p>“Hux is in danger. I’m sitting around while Poe polishes his kriffing BB unit.”</p>
<p>She huffed out a laugh. “Look, I know. I know I should stop you, <i>but</i> I won’t.” Her eyes went to Millicent, now settled in Kylo’s arms. “If someone I cared deeply about was in danger, I’d do anything to save them. And… I think it will work out better for everyone if we don’t stand in your way. I don’t know how, or why, but I think Hux is needed to restore… some kind of balance. I don’t know. But he’s made you calmer, so…” She shrugged.</p>
<p>“Is this something you’ve seen in the Force or…”</p>
<p>“The future is uncertain. There’s darkness there, for both of you, but there’s something else too. A candle. A light in the dark. I haven’t given up on you, Ben Solo, but I believe this is something you need to do.”</p>
<p>He frowned at her, bemused. “You clearly spent too long with Skywalker. His nonsense must have been contagious.”</p>
<p>“Shut up,” she said, her words more fond than harsh. “Here.” She handed him a bundle and he recognised his robes, his armour, his— “My lightsaber?”</p>
<p>“We’ve not much use for it here.” She shrugged again. “Try to leave us <i>some</i> prisoners.”</p>
<p>“I won’t promise anything. If they’ve hurt him…”</p>
<p>“I know. Go. There’s a patrol returning and I can’t keep them distracted for long.”</p>
<p>Kylo headed up the ramp into the hatch of the ship he’d spent so long hating. The cockpit was smaller than he remembered, but the controls were comfortingly familiar in his hands as he briefly ran through preflight checks and punched the coordinates into the navi-computer. Millicent curled up in the copilot’s chair. </p>
<p>As he flicked switches and fired up the engine, he reached out to Rey. <i>Thank you.</i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apologies - i decided to split the final chapter so there's one more to go!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hux awoke to pins and needles shooting down his arm and grit digging into his cheek. For the briefest second he forgot where he was, thought he was still on the Resistance base, but the reality of his situation soon hit. For once, he couldn’t recall dreaming, but that wasn’t the relief he’d thought it would be; he hadn’t heard anything from Ren since he’d let Hux know he was coming. He could still feel the connection, though, the quiet hum of it in the back of his mind so he tried to squash down his fears that something had happened.</p><p>As he tried to stretch out the crick in his neck, Hux became aware of shouting coming from outside his room. The voices were muffled, so he couldn’t pick out individual words but he thought he could hear Rask—the rasping tone sending a ripple of disgust through Hux. </p><p>The door opened after the shouting had stopped. Hux hurriedly pushed up onto his feet and immediately regretted it when his head started spinning. </p><p>It was Rask. He strode over to Hux without a word, grabbed him roughly and spun him, pushing him face first into the rough wall. Hux was so surprised that he didn’t even manage to get his hands up to protect himself. Pain pierced through his skull as his nose crunched against the stucco.</p><p>“What the kriff are you doing,” he grunted as Rask yanked his hands behind his back. The cuffs snapped around his wrists, aggravating wounds that hadn’t yet had a chance to scab over properly, let alone heal. </p><p>“Getting rid of you today. Buyer’s coming. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a swift death,” Rask grunted.</p><p>Hux’s stomach plummeted. He thought he’d have more time. Ren was on his way. He was so close to this nightmare being over. He struggled in his bindings but the pain made him nauseous. His only option was to try and delay the exchange, but how?</p><p>“Stop squirming, you little bitch.” </p><p>Hux almost lost his footing as a meaty hand shoved him towards the door. He snarled and glared over his shoulder. “What happened to not causing any damage?”</p><p>“Wasn’t me who agreed to that.” Rask laughed. “Besides, a little scrape here and there won’t lower your price.”</p><p>Rask’s hand clamps around his upper arm, fingers digging into the wound there, although whether it was intentional or not Hux couldn’t tell. His knees buckled from the fresh wave of pain and nausea, which only caused Rask to tighten his grip. Fuck. His vision spotted. He was going to faint and then he’d wake up chained in some slaver’s filthy ship... or choke on his vomit and not wake up at all, or—</p><p><i>Hux!</i> The urgent hiss of his name stopped his thoughts dead. Had he imagined it?</p><p><i>Ren?</i> </p><p>
  <i>Hux. You can hear me? Thank fuck. I’m almost there. Hold on.</i>
</p><p>Hux let out a whimpering laugh, the relief making him sag. Ren was coming. <i>Hurry. There’s not much time.</i> </p><p>
  <i>I’m so close. Delay them. Whatever you can do. I can see the compound. I’m coming for you.</i>
</p><p>A sob escaped Hux’s lips. He felt dazed from the sudden resurgence of hope. He steeled his resolve. Delay them. Rask shook him roughly, grunting more insults in his ear as he yanked him to the door and Hux knew what he had to do; the only thing he could do.</p><p>He twisted to break Rask’s grip on his arm, ignoring the wrench to his shoulder, and then threw himself forwards, head down. He knew he didn’t have bulk on his side, but he was desperate, and had no qualms about fighting dirty. He caught Rask’s nose with his head, grinning at the satisfying crunch of cartilage. </p><p>Rask howled in pain, blood dripping down his chin in an instant, but it wasn’t enough to incapacitate him. Before Hux could attempt anything else, Rask surged towards him, wrapping a meaty hand around Hux’s neck and shoving him into the wall. Hux stifled a hysterical laugh at the reminder of Ren choking him all those weeks ago.</p><p>“You think you’re funny? What do you think is going to happen to you if you go out there without me? Do you think you’re gonna get far in a desert with your hands tied behind your back?”</p><p>“Oh, I know I don’t stand a chance. I just like pissing you off,” Hux spat.</p><p>The fist came so fast, Hux didn’t have a chance to tense. The blow sunk into his stomach, knocking the breath from his lungs. He doubled over, wheezing, then straightened just enough to spit in Rask’s face, grinning at the sight of the bloody saliva dribbling down the man’s cheek. He was actually having fun, brawling like a teenager—although it could be the mix of dehydration and desperation making him delirious.</p><p>Another fist. And another. Hux could barely stand, barely breathe. It didn’t matter. All he had to do was delay the handover, give Ren a chance to arrive. He could feel Ren’s concern flooding through the link; his increasingly frantic questions—<i>Are you alright?, What’s happening? What are you doing? If you get yourself killed, I’ll fucking murder you!</i>—filling his head, but Hux couldn’t form any coherent replies to appease him. He couldn’t spare any attention beyond futile attempts to protect himself from the blows raining down on him.</p><p>Hux dimly registered a shout above the sound of his own rasping breaths and the blood rushing in his ears and Ren’s growing panic echoing in his head. There was a lull in the beating, but he remained curled into himself on the floor, protecting himself as much as he could with his hands bound behind his back.</p><p>“What do you think you’re doing?” someone snapped. Not Rask, but a familiar voice all the same. </p><p>Hux cracked open an eyelid and saw Deyma standing in the doorway. He’d been wondering when he would show up. Anger swelled in his chest as he remembered the blaster hitting him in the face, the bruise still painful.</p><p>“What part of ‘unharmed’ was so hard for you to understand?” Deyma continued, scowling at Rask who was flushed and sweaty, blood staining his clothes.</p><p>“Need to use… smaller words,” Hux muttered from the floor.</p><p>“Shut it or I’ll let him finish the job. Screw the credits.” Deyma turned to Rask. “The buyers are here now. Boss wants him up. Sent me to find out what was taking you so long.” He sneered at Hux. “Wouldn’t hurt to wipe some of that blood off his face.”</p><p>Hux flinched as Rask lurched towards him, a dirty looking rag having materialised from somewhere. “Wait!” he cried as he saw Deyma go to leave, a last ditch attempt to claw some more time, to cling to his fragile consciousness.</p><p>Deyma paused at the entrance, glancing over his shoulder, eye twitching. “What?”</p><p>“Why are you doing this? Why not just kill me?” Hux asked.</p><p>Deyma smiled, a sickly spreading of his lips that didn’t reach his eyes. He looked weary. Jittery. Eyes darting about, unable to settle on anything. “Killing you would be too much of a kindness. You deserve to suffer for what you’ve done, and if we can get some credits out of it—” He shrugged, “—even better.” </p><p>“That’s it? You’re doing it for credits?” He hissed as Rask roughly scrubbed the rag over his face. “Who’s the buyer then?” </p><p>Deyma grinned at that. “A group who shares our views. You’ll meet them soon enough. Now, shut it. You’ve wasted enough of my time.”</p><p>* * *</p><p>The gravel bit into Kylo’s knees as he crouched behind a small outcrop. The compound below was a squat, white complex, nestled into a dry basin in the foothills of a sprawling mountain range that rose from the otherwise featureless desert. It hadn’t been easy to locate, even with Hux’s presence calling to him like a beacon. Perhaps if he hadn’t been on the edge of exhaustion it wouldn’t have been such a trial. He was here now, though, the Falcon hidden out of sight on the other side of a small ridge.</p><p>Hux was in pain. He’d felt it through the link; had tried to find out exactly what was going on, but Hux had pushed him away. When he’d asked Hux to buy him some time, he’d assumed he’d talk to them or something, but from what it had felt like, Hux had made them beat him up. And now he was barely coherent. <i>Fuck.</i> Kylo’s resolve to proceed with stealth was cracking. </p><p>Every fibre of his being yearned to rush into the compound and raze it to the ground, plucking Hux from the rubble and whisking him to safety. It was killing him, knowing Hux was so close and not just… taking him. He had to do this properly, though. Take things slow. Assess the situation and make a plan. He was still weakened from the effort of locating Hux in the first place, and the injuries he’d sustained during the assault on Taiig hadn’t fully healed yet. If he ran in half-cocked like the impulsive brute Hux thought him to be, he risked getting himself or Hux killed in the process. So, the plan was to observe. Count the guards. Discover where exactly Hux was being held. It wasn’t the best plan, but it was all he had.</p><p>However, he couldn’t delay too long. The knowledge that Rey and the rest of the Resistance could appear at any moment was an uncomfortable niggle at the back of his mind. It settled alongside the link, where Hux’s thoughts drifted sluggishly, urging Kylo to act sooner rather than later. He needed to be away before the Resistance turned up.</p><p>As he watched a scrawny-looking guard scurry across the courtyard, his attention was caught by a First Order transporter dropping out of the atmosphere, heading straight for the compound. Kylo tensed. Was this the buyer? Was this a rescue mission? Had some of Pryde’s supporters survived and come to finish the deal? He struggled to remain hidden as the urge to discover what was going on drew him onto his feet. Stars, he wished he’d thought to arrange some backup. The guards alone were a lot for him to take on by himself, but with the addition of Order soldiers of indeterminate loyalty, he didn’t stand a chance. He needed his Knights. <i>Fuck.</i></p><p> The First Order soldiers were led into the yard in the centre of the compound by a green Nikto in mercenary garb. Two guards wearing what looked to be typical Resistance uniforms, watched warily, from the edges, blasters raised. Kylo instantly recognised Captain Phasma in the small Order contingent, her armour gleaming almost painfully bright in the desert sun. Lieutenant Mitaka stood by her side, looking as skittish as ever, and four Stormtroopers followed behind them. A fresh swell of betrayal soured Kylo’s stomach. He’d distanced himself from most in the Order, but Hux had always spoken of Phasma in almost friendly terms, and Mitaka had been one of the few Kylo had thought to be on his side. To see that they were the ones here to... to what? Return Hux to the Order? Were they working with Hux or against him?</p><p>Two more guards appeared from another door at the far side of the compound and Kylo almost dismissed them, adding their number to the tally in his head before returning his attention to the group in the yard, but then he spotted a flash of orange. Hux! The link sung and the relief Kylo felt almost brought him to his knees. </p><p>His joy was short-lived though. In the next instant he registered Hux’s state. He was conscious, but barely, his head lolling on his chest, his feet dragging on the ground. If it wasn’t for the guards, Kylo knew he’d be on the floor. There was blood on Hux’s shirt, too much of it, some stains a rusty brown, others a fresh dark red. His hair hung over his face, but even at this distance Kylo could see the purple bruising marring his skin, an angry red gash on his cheek. Blood rushed in Kylo’s ears, his hands clenched into tight fists. Hux looked so small, so broken. Kylo’s rage surged at the sight of him, his body trembling with the need to act. To destroy. To hurt everyone who had touched Hux. </p><p>He reached through the link hoping to reassure him, to let him know he was here, but when he tried entering his mind, Hux’s thoughts were hazy and scattered. Fuck fuck fuck. This was his fault. </p><p>The group paused as Hux was dragged towards them, turning as one to watch the sorry scene. The Force crackled around Kylo. He was severely outnumbered. He couldn’t rush in.</p><p>The guards stopped and Hux fell to his knees between them. His hands were bound behind his back. Kylo expected him to slump to the ground, but he kept upright, only swaying slightly as he lifted his head and grinned—<i>grinned</i>—before spitting at the group in front of him. Bloody tracks ran from his nose, blood dripping off his chin, and one side of his face was swollen, but amongst all the fury, Kylo felt a twinge of pride that Hux still managed to hold his head up after such mistreatment.</p><p>A blaster shot rang out through the compound, echoing off the mountains. In an instant, the place was thrown into confusion. Kylo was on his feet before he fully registered what he was doing, only one goal in mind: get Hux. He skidded down scree, scaled the wall, ran across the roof of an outbuilding, barely paying attention to anything that was happening around him. He paused at the edge. Shots flew across the courtyard, First Order against the Resistance fugitives, and were there mercs there too? It was a confusion of people and blaster fire.</p><p>Hux was huddled in the middle of everything. He’d taken shelter by a small stack of crates, but he was still hideously exposed.</p><p>Kylo leapt from the roof with no thought for anything but getting to Hux and activated his lightsaber as he hit the ground in a crouch. There was a brief interruption in the volley of blaster fire as people noticed him for the first time and no one was sure whose side he was on. But then he moved, striking down the person nearest him with a single slash of his lightsaber, and it jolted everyone into action. </p><p>He strode through the compound, deflecting shots, cutting down anyone who got near, his eyes not leaving Hux, huddled at the far side of the wide courtyard. As Kylo drew near, Hux saw him for the first time. His eyes widened and he tried to stand, heedless of the shots flying. He stumbled forward and Kylo sped up. A few more steps and he’d reach him. Barely any distance at all, and they’d be together. For real.</p><p>Kylo didn’t see the bolt to start with. Certainly didn’t see where it came from. He was almost within touching distance of Hux when Hux jerked backwards, his mouth open in surprise. Kylo’s first thought was that he’d tripped, but that didn’t fit the force with which Hux fell back. And then he saw the fresh blood blooming on Hux’s shirt, the ragged hole in the material over his abdomen that hadn’t been there before.</p><p>He roared. Pain. Frustration. Rage. He wasn’t aware of anything that happened next. All he could see was Hux’s joy and relief being wiped off his face by shock; the ragged, bloody hole; then death. He slashed and choked and threw everything he had into the Force, shaping it into a destructive wave that flattened everything around him.</p><p>And then everything was quiet. He knelt beside Hux’s body, gathering him into his arms, hugging him to his chest and pressing his face into Hux’s hair. Tears fell unbidden from his eyes. No one was alive to see, it didn’t matter. He heaved in ragged breaths. He felt nothing of his own pain, though he was certain he wouldn’t have escaped unscathed. </p><p>He had no idea how much time passed. Seconds? Hours? It could have been days and he wouldn’t have been surprised. But when he felt Hux twitch in his arms, it was like all his senses rushed back on line. </p><p>Kylo let out sob. “Hux? Hux! It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. I’m getting you out of here. It’s okay.”</p><p>Hux groaned, a faint sound Kylo felt more than heard. “Took you long enough,” he whispered. </p><p>“Fuck you.” Kylo shook his head, laughing softly. He pressed a kiss to Hux’s temple, not even caring if it would be welcome or not. </p><p>Standing up with Hux in his arms wasn’t easy, but there was no way he was letting him go, not even for a second. He’d taken off his cowl and used it to staunch the bleeding, but he knew Hux wouldn’t survive much longer without bacta or some other medical intervention. He didn’t have time to search the compound, and the Falcon was too far to reach on foot. So, he made towards the Transporter he’d seen land just outside the compound. There would be field medkit on board which might be enough to keep Hux clinging to life until he can get to a doctor or med droid.</p><p>Before he could reach it, though, Phasma stepped in front of him. He hadn’t even seen where she’d come from. </p><p>“You can’t have him,” she said, her voice cold through the modulator. Her blaster was levelled at his head, steady in her grip, but she appeared to be favouring her right leg. </p><p>Despite his exhaustion, he thought he could probably take her, even with Hux unconscious in his arms. But then he noticed Mitaka and another officer over her shoulder, both battle worn, but armed and looking considerably more steady on their feet than he felt. <i>Kriff.</i> </p><p>“Out of my way,” he snapped, relying on their fear of what he was capable of to make them obey him.</p><p>“No. You’re to set him down and leave us, or we’ll have no choice but to shoot.”</p><p>“Do you think you stand a chance against me? Stand aside or I’ll choke the life out of you all.”</p><p>He sensed their fear, but above that was determination. Even Mitaka stood firm. They were calling his bluff. They knew he was weakened. He wouldn’t let them have Hux, though. Not after all they’d been through.</p><p>“It’s okay, Ren,” Hux said weakly. “She’s with us. She can help.” </p><p>Hux’s eyes were still closed, brow furrowed from pain, but his words had been clear enough. What had he meant by it?</p><p>“You’re… working together?” Phasma asked, at the same time as Kylo asked: “You’re working with Hux?”</p><p>Hux shuddered in his arms, spurring Kylo on. “He’s been shot. I need to get him to a med droid.”</p><p>“What are you waiting for, then? Get him on board.” Phasma fell into step beside him as he marched to the Transporter. “I know basic combat care. I can patch him up on the way back to the Finalizer.” </p><p>Kylo froze. “No, he can’t go back. He—”</p><p>“What’s your plan, then?”</p><p>“I—” He hesitated. He had no plan beyond ‘find bacta’. What even would he do with it? Hux was beyond needing some bacta spray and a bandage. He was out of his depth and Hux was going to die because he had acted without thinking.</p><p>“The crew of the Finalizer are loyal to Hux. We’ve made sure of it,” Phasma continued. “The Order is… different since Taiig. I’ll explain later. Hux will be safe. You have my word.”</p><p>Kylo held his tongue despite a hundred questions clamouring for answers. Phasma had said she’d explain later, so he’d have to believe that. Hux was shivering, his skin a sickly grey beneath the lurid bruises. </p><p>Out of viable options, his decision was technically made for him. He nodded his agreement and followed Phasma into the Transporter. He set Hux gently down on a bunk and stepped back, letting Phasma take over. He slid down to the floor, close to Hux, but not in the way. Hux would be okay. He had to be okay. </p><p>Somewhere in the confusion of barked orders, he remembered Millicent, so they made a brief stop at the Falcon to pick her up, before leaving the planet behind them. As they left the atmosphere, a Resistance squadron appeared on the scanners, approaching the compound. Kylo allowed himself a grim smile. They’d done it. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the bulkhead, the rumble of the Transporter’s engine lulling him into numbness.</p><p>* * *</p><p>No one commented on Kylo’s refusal to leave Hux’s side on the journey back to the Finalizer. He stayed within arms’ reach the entire time, watching the fragile rise and fall of Hux’s chest, keeping the link open so he might feel any minute changes. Hux’s thoughts were quiet and untroubled though, the drugs Phasma had given him having smoothed down all the ragged edges and dulled the pain for the time being. </p><p>He must have drifted off at some point because when he opened his eyes, he was in a private suite in a First Order medbay. Thankfully not pickling in bacta. He lacked the fear he’d had when waking up in the Resistance base, so maybe his body instinctively recognised the rumble of the Star Destroyer’s engines.</p><p>He could tell from the way the link was humming softly in his head that Hux was alive, but didn’t do anything more than skim Hux’s mind just to double-check. He was heavily medicated, though, and Hux’s jumbled thoughts quickly made Kylo nauseous. So, he lay on the bed, floating in and out of consciousness, and just let his thoughts drift for a change.</p><p>* * *</p><p>It was strange being back on the Finalizer. Kylo hadn’t even been gone that long, but so much had changed. He was still nominally Supreme Leader, but a power shift had already started to happen and he had very little to do with the day-to-day running of things. It was a strange kind of limbo to be in. The entirety of the First Order seemingly holding its breath as they awaited news on Hux. Kylo included. Since Pryde’s attempt, no one had overtly sworn allegiance to anyone other than Kylo, but he knew it was only a matter of time before someone tried to fill the power vacuum. </p><p>Phasma had eventually brought him up to speed with what had been happening behind his back since before Hux had even left, but he could tell she didn’t trust him. He got the impression that Hux’s few words in his favour, muttered before losing consciousness, were currently the only thing stopping her from ejecting him into space. She certainly seemed to delight in informing him that the crew of the Finalizer were wholly loyal to Hux now, and he took that to be the warning it was. He could have fought, could have shown her and everyone else that his power was not to be so easily dismissed but… but he was tired. And he didn’t care about anything beyond ensuring Hux survived. Besides, he’d be going along with whatever Hux wanted after he regained consciousness, so it didn’t make sense to make things harder for him. </p><p>There should be a smooth transition of power when he handed everything to Hux. </p><p>*</p><p>Hux was in a bacta tank for over a week and Kylo visited at least once every cycle. He crept down when the Finalizer was at its quietest, and sat in Hux’s private room in the medbay, lit only by the pale blue glow of the tank and the flickering lights on the life support unit. Hux’s normally bright red hair was washed out and grey as it fanned out around his head like a wispy halo and his body seemed impossibly frail, but the wound in his abdomen looked less angry with each visit. It would leave him with a scar, but hopefully no lasting complications. </p><p>As he sat there, night after night, Kylo would let his eyes wander over Hux’s naked body, tracing every scar, old and new; mapping every freckle, every blemish, every inch of exposed flesh. From delicate wrists to his smooth, hairless chest to the faint trail of fiery hair that led down from his navel and disappeared into those unflattering medbay briefs. He imagined what Hux’s nipples would feel like, tightening to hardened nubs under his tongue; imagined what that lithe body would feel like against his; imagined Hux’s slender fingers fisting his hair and yanking his head back as he demanded obedience from Kylo. </p><p>Occasionally, on those quiet nights, he would let his mind skim over Hux’s, but it was still jumbled and hard to navigate thanks to the artificial sleep induced for the bacta tank. Other times Kylo would try talking to him, even though he knew he couldn’t hear. He found it helped him sort through things in his mind to say them out loud so he would inform Hux of everything he’d encountered during the day, making sure to include details such as shift rotations, since he knew Hux liked that sort of stuff. He also talked about Millicent. He’d grown quite attached to Hux’s crotchety ginger feline in the short time they’d spent together. Weirdly, it made him feel closer to Hux to have her around, even though everything in his quarters was now covered in a sprinkling of fine orange fur. </p><p>*</p><p>Hux was finally released from the bacta tank late one cycle, almost two standard weeks since he’d been submerged. Kylo had known it was happening from the barrage of foreign emotions that assaulted his mind as Hux’s mind slowly woke up. He’d grown used to the quiet murmur of Hux’s sedated mind, rumbling away on the edges of his consciousness so the sudden influx of emotion and broken thoughts was jarring. </p><p>He didn’t want to cause any damage to Hux’s mind or overwhelm him so soon after waking up, so he kept his distance, carefully guarding his thoughts. He loitered in the fringes of Hux’s mind instead, gently probing to check he was okay before stepping back and sealing the link to prevent any of his thoughts or emotions straying to Hux. He wanted to give him peace to recover. It wasn’t because he was scared to discover whether Hux was thinking of him at all.</p><p>He lasted until the early hours of the next cycle before visiting Hux, deciding enough time had passed. When he arrived, Hux was arguing with a medic about being discharged. Kylo stood in the entrance, unobserved for a few minutes while Hux informed the poor medic exactly what he thought of their policy and ‘necessary acclimation periods’ following prolonged bacta treatment. Kylo smiled at the exchange, marvelling at how put together Hux managed to look while sat propped up in bed wearing only a medbay gown. He still looked too pale underneath the suntan and light sprinkling of freckles he’d acquired during his absence, but he must have showered since waking because his hair was falling softly around his face. Kylo preferred it like this, he thought. It softened Hux’s sharp edges.</p><p>The medic was standing firm in her resolve to keep Hux in his bed, but Kylo could feel the fear flowing from her. He supposed people were still unsure of Hux’s status. How much had Phasma informed them of? Most of the ship likely thought they still needed to consider Hux a traitor, whether they actually believed it themselves or not.</p><p>“He can have his datapad, at least. It should be in his quarters.”</p><p>Both Hux and the medic startled at Kylo’s voice, but the medic gathered herself quickly. “Apologies Supreme Leader, I didn’t see you there. I’ll have someone fetch it.” She turned once more to Hux. “You’re only allowed the datapad on the condition that you give your eyes a rest from it at least every twenty minutes. And stop altogether if you start to get a headache. Is that understood?”</p><p>Hux rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I’ll make sure he behaves,” Kylo said.</p><p>Hux’s face was blank as the medic left the room and Kylo’s stomach lurched. When the door closed, it felt like she’d stolen the air with her.</p><p>“What are you doing here? I don’t need you mothering me,” Hux snapped. “Come to escort me to the brig, have you?”</p><p>“What?” Kylo blinked, his smile falling. He’d not expected a warm embrace or anything overtly friendly, but Hux sounded angry. What had happened to him since waking up? Had Hux forgotten everything they’d been through? The medics he’d spoken to had said nothing about amnesia, and he was sure Phasma would have filled Hux in on certain important details since he regained consciousness. Perhaps he was wrong, perhaps she hadn’t had time.</p><p>“You’re no longer considered a threat. I came to see how you are. I… I was worried.” It sounded stupid, saying it out loud, and he could tell Hux thought so too.</p><p>“Well, as you can see, I’m fine. Apart from the large, ugly scar on my chest, multiple contusions across my body, and diminished lung function—and who needs lungs anyway—so you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done.” </p><p>Kylo frowned. This wasn’t going at all like he’d imagined. What had happened since they’d last spoken to sour Hux like this? Was it just the pain? His expression was hard and closed off, making him impossible to read. Kylo tentatively reached across the link, feeling for any chink in Hux’s defences that might clue him in to Hux’s mood.</p><p>The first thing he felt was pain. Physical pain. A weird, shifting, hard to pin down sensation that pulsed along the connection and filled Kylo’s head. Then came the irritation; much more familiar, accompanied by snatches of words. Hux’s internal monologue, busily cursing every little thing. <i>Kriffing… Ren… Dopey idiot… brown eyes… pretty… hate it… staring,</i> And then he detected embarrassment, sharp and uncomfortable, rumbling beneath everything else. Why would he be embarrassed? It wasn’t like he had shot himself.</p><p>“Are you in my head?” Hux snapped, drawing the thin medbay blanket up to his chin as if that could somehow protect him. “Get out!”</p><p>Kylo flinched, more at the feeling of Hux shoving him out of his mind than at his tone. “If you’d just tell me what’s wrong, then I wouldn’t need to look,” he said, perfectly reasonably he thought. </p><p>“That’s not a normal response!” Hux shook his head. “Just… leave. Please. I need to rest.” </p><p>“Fine.” Kylo decided not to mention that Hux had been trying to discharge himself not five minutes before. He left the room, irritated, frustrated, and kind of wanting to strangle Hux. He staunchly ignored the lump in his throat. The disappointment. He was just tired, he told himself, as was Hux. </p><p>* * *</p><p>Following their disastrous reunion, Kylo resolved to give Hux as much space as he could. Physical space. He still couldn’t help checking up on him, monitoring the link to check he was okay, searching for any sign that Hux wanted to talk to him. His mind was closed off, though. Hostile and unwelcoming the instant he felt Kylo’s presence. The clear rejection made something unpleasant twist inside him.</p><p>After more than a week of no contact, Kylo started attending meetings just so he could see Hux. He knew it was pathetic—hated himself for his obvious neediness—but still he couldn’t stop. He just needed the reassurance that Hux was doing alright, that his injuries were healing, that he was remembering to eat. He felt Hux glance at him sometimes, but whenever he tried to catch his eye, Hux was resolutely looking anywhere else except Kylo. He was sure he didn’t imagine the spots of colour high on his cheeks, though, and it gave him hope that maybe there was something salvageable between them, that Hux would get over whatever it was and let Kylo in again.</p><p>Training with his Knights was the once place Kylo felt he had any control, now. The only place he felt wanted. </p><p>It was during one of these training sessions when Kylo sensed a spike in Hux’s agitation; the feeling pulsing through the link and distracting him enough that Ap’lek managed to land a blow to his shin that knocked him flat on his back. The spike had felt intentional, like Hux was signalling for help, so he hurried out of the training room with barely an explanation, locating Hux through the Force and… found him in the middle of a budget meeting. </p><p>Hux’s face was perfectly calm when Kylo arrived, no outward sign of his distress, but his body language was tense, his hands clasped tightly behind his back as he paced the room. He registered Kylo’s entrance with a curl of his lip and a disapproving glance at Kylo’s flustered appearance. </p><p>“Yes? You have something to add about the budgetary constraints resulting from our recent… setbacks?” Hux’s glare was cold, daring Kylo to say anything.</p><p>Kylo deflated, cheeks hot. His chest was heaving from having run all the way from the training deck, and as he stood there in his sweaty training kit, still trying to catch his breath while High Command watched on, he came to the realisation that he had no purpose aboard the Finalizer anymore, and that it was about time he snuffed out the ridiculous notion that Hux would ever want him. Clearly, he’d moved past whatever truce they’d had before. Kylo had been a means to an end for him, a way to get what he wanted. Now he had it, Kylo was surplus to requirements.</p><p>“No. I just. I was training. I didn’t mean to forget the meeting. Carry on.” He moved to his usual position in the corner of the room, eyes on Hux. </p><p>The meeting continued as if he hadn’t burst in half-crazed. He should have left them to it, but it would have looked worse if he walked out. He was already skating a thin line; people feared him, but he wasn’t respected. Not on this ship. Despite the story they’d told about him and Hux working together, it seemed a large proportion still weren’t prepared to forgive him for ordering Hux’s execution. </p><p>Kylo hung back after the meeting finished, waiting for the attendees to filter out and holoprojections to flicker off. Hux was turned away, facing the projection of the planet which had been the main subject of the meeting—it would provide the Order with valuable resources, but they had neither the numbers nor reputation to bargain or take it by force. It had led to a frustratingly circular meeting that, as far as Kylo could tell, had ended with them further from a solution than they’d started with. </p><p>“Why are you still here?” Hux asked, without looking around.</p><p>Kylo sighed. He’d expected resistance, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. “We need to talk.” He sent what he hoped was a calming sensation through the link, but by the tightening of Hux’s shoulders, it had had the opposite effect and he felt the now-familiar rough mental push-back. The mind equivalent of having a door slammed in his face.</p><p>“What makes you think that?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Stupid, I guess.” He dragged a hand through his hair, fighting the urge to fling the nearest chair across the room. He was so sick of Hux’s mood. So sick of not knowing what he’d done wrong. “What’s your problem, Hux? What the fuck have I done wrong?”</p><p>Hux’s mood was a writhing mass of annoyance and frustration. It boiled out of him, filling the conference room. He whipped around, one finger outstretched. “My problem? My problem is that you ran the Order into the ground. Your inept leadership led to gaping schisms which I’m still now trying to unpick and stick back together. No one knows who to trust, we lost innumerable competent leaders thanks to the coup against you, and our standing in the galaxy has been decimated.” He slammed a fist into the table. “What little respect that remains is tenuous at best. And now I’m tasked with trying to create something solid from this… this... absolute shambles you’ve left me with and you won’t fucking get out of my head!”</p><p>Hux was bright red, teeth bared. He looked feral and Kylo took an involuntary step back. He wished he had on something more substantial than a tank top and leggings. He felt so exposed. And cold. He hadn’t spared a thought for getting changed when he’d thought Hux had needed him, though. If he’d known it was a budget meeting causing his distress, he wouldn’t have bothered. </p><p>Hux stalked closer, that finger jabbing him in the chest. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate in these interminable meetings when I have to put up with your inane comments in my head?” Hux continued, voice lower, more composed, but no less venomous. “Your constant presence is like an ugly, festering tumour inside my skull from which there’s no getting away. Why do you even come to these meetings if all you do is scowl and sulk?”</p><p>Kylo’s confusion over the outburst quickly turned to anger. “You think you would have done a better job than me? You don’t think Pryde and his lot wouldn’t have turned on you too if you hadn’t left? I was privy to his thoughts. I know exactly what he thought of you. What he <i>did</i> to you.”</p><p>The words slipped out before he could stop them. He’d realised as it was happening that he shouldn’t say them—he wanted Hux on side, not pushed further away—but they couldn’t be unsaid. Hux’s face blanched, and for a split second, it looked like he might vomit, but then his eyes hardened to steel. The snarl returned. </p><p>The slap, when it came, should not have been a surprise. Kylo’s cheek stung. </p><p>“You would be finished without me. You’re nothing. The only person who believed you were worth anything was Snoke, and you murdered him—and for what? He may have been awful but at least he provided credits. What have <i>you</i> done for the Order? Besides tear it to pieces?”</p><p>“Enough!” Kylo thrust out blindly with the Force. The impact threw Hux back against the far wall and a clang rang out through the silence as his head smacked the durasteel. A crack travelled the length of the table. “I should have killed you when I had the chance,” he growled.</p><p>“What’s stopping you?” Hux hissed from where he’d fallen. “You’re weak, Ren. You always have been. You never see things through.” </p><p>Kylo’s fingers twitched with the desire to snap Hux’s neck, to put an end to this folly, but he couldn’t manage it. Hux was right about him being weak, but he just hadn’t realised that the weakness only extended to him.</p><p>He strode out of the room before he could do anything he’d regret. Something had to change. He’d find Hux the one thing he wanted and then they’d never have to speak to each other again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hux trotted down the corridor, rushing without trying to look like he was. He’d had a diplomatic envoy to greet at bay thirty-two earlier that morning and had only just palmed them off on Mitaka for a tour of the ship, and now he was supposed to be catching up on paperwork while wolfing down a sandwich before heading over to watch Phasma’s latest batch of recruits run through some exercises on the other side of the ship. He was sorely tempted to abandon the paperwork and just nap for half an hour. His office was next to his quarters, a hidden door panel providing easy access for him between the two and he could feel his bed calling to him.</p>
<p>He hadn’t been sleeping well lately, what with the stress of trying to rebuild the Order. It was thrilling work, and a welcome change to rotting in a Resistance cell, but it was exhausting. There were always ten things that needed doing at the exact same time, and he’d never been much good at delegating. No one else ever met his exacting standards. It had been like this since he discharged himself from medbay, but he wouldn’t change anything, even though there were times when he still missed the quiet satisfaction of moisture-proofing ancient tech in the shade of a tree. </p>
<p>At least he finally had respite from Ren. He had disappeared with his Knights following their fight weeks ago and Hux hadn’t heard from him since. Even the connection had gone quiet, his dreams remaining blissfully Ren-free. Except for when they weren’t… but those dreams were not the sort he’d ever want the real Ren to catch him having. He blushed just thinking about it.</p>
<p>He felt guilty about their last argument. He’d gone over it in his head so many times but he wasn’t even sure why it had happened. No. That was a lie. It had happened because he still had headaches everyday. It had happened because he barely got a moment's rest at night, so worried he was about Ren appearing in his dreams. It had happened because he was constantly on guard and worried about what he was projecting to Ren because he knew he’d have to see him, to look into his eyes and know what he’d seen. </p>
<p>When they’d been separated by half the galaxy, he’d managed to convince himself it wasn’t really real, but having him walking around, loitering in meetings, holing up with his Knights on the training deck, Hux was continually reminded of things they’d shared, aspects of his past that he’d kept hidden from everyone, but which Ren had now seen; had watched him relive. It was embarrassing. He was constantly on edge, waiting for the time when Ren would take advantage of his knowledge. So he’d done what he always did and pushed Ren away. Closed off his mind as best he could and focused on his work. It was the only way he knew how to cope.</p>
<p>Over time, though, as Ren’s absence persisted, he started to realise that he missed him. It ruined his enjoyment of the peace he now had. He’d grown so used to his presence, that he hadn’t noticed how much he took comfort from it, even when they weren’t talking, even in the weeks since their return to the Finalizer. It was a comfort just knowing he was there, but now the space in his head that Ren had occupied felt hollow. </p>
<p>His feelings veered wildly from relief that he was gone, to irritation that he’d left without a word, and frustration that he had no idea if he would ever see him again. What would become of the link then, he wondered. </p>
<p>By the end of the second month of Ren’s absence, Hux had made up his mind that while he wouldn’t necessarily forgive Ren for running away, he would speak to him and they would figure something out. </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Hux slowly grew used to Ren’s absence, but there wasn’t a day that went past when he didn’t check the link or feel around in his mind for any sign of Ren. It was like a scab he couldn’t stop picking. No matter what, though, the link remained cold and dormant.</p>
<p>He wanted to forget him and move on—it had been months without word, it shouldn’t be this hard—but when he was still faced daily with the consequences of decisions Ren had made as Supreme Leader, it was difficult to put him out of his mind for long. The constant reminder of his existence like a vibroblade in Hux’s side. </p>
<p>And at night, when his mind slowed and he longed for the peaceful oblivion of sleep, then came the regret. Regret that he’d pushed Ren away without trying to resolve anything between them. </p>
<p>The worst side effect of Ren’s prolonged disappearance, though, was loneliness. He still had all the same nightmares, with new ones added to the rotation courtesy of being kidnapped and left defenceless in a shootout, but they were somehow worse now, without Ren appearing to snap him out of it. Maybe he was there and just didn’t care. He still felt like someone was looking over his shoulder the whole time, only now, when he looked, there really was no one there.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Hux added his signature to yet another requisition form, his dinner abandoned on his desk beside a near-identical sandwich he’d grabbed for his lunch. At times like these, sifting through administrative grunt work, he regretted that he’d demanded all forms and paperwork go through him for final approvals. It wasn’t that he didn’t judge anyone else to be capable of the task but he was still aware that his position wasn’t secure and he wanted to know everything that went on. If there were any stirrings of dissent, he wanted to catch it before it spread. He knew it was paranoid, but he thought it warranted. </p>
<p>The door pinged, disrupting his concentration as he read a particularly dry report. Hux sighed and glanced at the time in the corner of his screen. 20h34. Later than he intended, but still, no one came to his door without prior appointment unless it was Mitaka with a food parcel (he’d forgotten to eat for <i>one</i> day and apparently that lead to Phasma thinking he was incapable of looking after himself), and both he and Phasma had seen him in the officer’s cafeteria earlier.</p>
<p>Another ping.</p>
<p>Before he could answer or check the security feed to see who it was, the door lock disengaged, the <i>click-hiss</i> unnervingly loud in the silence of the room. Hux stood, indignation rattling through him, his hand darting to the blaster at his hip that he was never without these days. Who would dare unlock his private office? Who would be so brazen? Was this an attack? Whoever it was, he would see them strung up and flung out of the airlock before they could draw another breath. The only person who had the code to unlock the door was Mitaka and he would never dare to— Unless…</p>
<p>Hux inhaled sharply as the dark figure coalesced in the doorway, seeming to come together from the shadows.</p>
<p>“Ren?” Hux lurched forward, clutching the edge of the desk to keep himself upright. </p>
<p>He struggled to form a coherent sentence. All his thoughts were tumbling over each other in their rush to come out. Anger and relief twisted together, a churning hot ball in his chest. He didn’t know if he wanted to shoot him or push him up against the bulkhead and check he really was here. Had he fallen asleep at his desk again?</p>
<p>Ren’s face was unreadable. He had dark smudges under his eyes, his hair limp, face tinged grey. His helmet was held loosely at his side. Out of habit, Hux checked the link and found it still closed off, but something about it felt electric, as if invigorated by Ren’s proximity. </p>
<p>He strode into the room, the door shutting behind him, and dropped his helmet to the floor. Hux jumped at the loud clang and his grip on the desk tightened. Ren wordlessly made his way around the obscenely large piece of furniture, stomping gait matching the thud of Hux’s heart. He was in his usual black ribbed tunic and cloak, but it seemed more worn, more tired, and Hux could see several rips. Reddish mud was spattered over his boots and there were streaks of something grey and dusty marking the fabric. He looked like he’d not washed or stopped to look after himself once in the months he’d been away. </p>
<p>Before Hux could comment, Ren pulled him into an embrace, crushing Hux’s face into the crook of his neck. </p>
<p>Hux stiffened, arms held rigidly at his side as one of Ren’s hands slid down to the line of his belt and the other travelled up to cup his head. His hands were huge. Hux felt completely engulfed. He had a face full of Ren’s hair, could breath in nothing but lungfuls of Ren’s musk, his sweat, the freshness of ozone overlaid with the damp mustiness of someone who’d spent a lot of time lurking in dark corners. Had he spent the last few months in a cave?</p>
<p>Slowly, Hux’s brain restarted and he registered the heat emanating from Ren’s body, the broadness of his shoulders, the way he was breathing as if grateful for each breath. Was… was Ren sniffing him? </p>
<p>He struggled out of Ren’s grip, worming his hands between them and shoving him away. To his irritation, Ren didn’t look remotely put off, but at least he kept his arms by his side and didn’t try and hug him again. </p>
<p>He walked over to his drinks cabinet and poured himself a measure of Corellia’s finest to give himself space to think. He hoped Ren would do him the courtesy of ignoring the slight tremor in his hand even as the decanter clinked against the tumbler. He downed the drink in one, gasping at the burn, then immediately poured another, more generous this time. It would likely go straight to his head because he’d barely managed to eat all day, but sometimes an occasion demanded booze. As an afterthought, he poured a large measure for Ren too. He looked like he needed the drink more that Hux did, if he was being honest. </p>
<p>With his thoughts aligned and nerves settled (to a certain extent), Hux rounded on Ren.</p>
<p>“Where the ever loving <i>fuck</i> have you been? You’re supposed to be bloody co-commander of the First Order and you thought it appropriate to bugger off to kriff knows where for months on end? Not a word to anyone, not even a heading. How can you be so irresponsible? You arrogant, shiftless, utter, <i>utter</i> bastard. Do you have any idea—” Hux cut himself off. He was getting carried away; could feel himself getting too emotional. He wanted to throttle Ren. He wanted to clutch him to his chest and never let him out of his sight. He wanted... He wanted...</p>
<p>“Have you finished?” Hux froze as Ren drew closer, any words he might have uttered lodged in his throat as Ren leaned in, his broad, and very solid, chest brushing against Hux’s shoulder. Close enough that he got a lungful of Ren’s heady musky aroma again. Hux shuddered at the sudden proximity. Was Ren going to hug him again? But then he reached past Hux and grabbed the tumbler from the drinks cabinet. Hux exhaled as Ren drew back, heart racing. He couldn’t tell if he was relieved or disappointed.</p>
<p>Drink in hand, Ren sauntered over to Hux’s sofa—the ice blue one that most definitely wasn’t for just anyone to sit on—and reclined as if he owned the place. Hux winced at the thought of the deep clean he’d need to put his upholstery through if Ren got his dirty boots on it.</p>
<p>“General Hux.” Ren’s voice rumbled low and lazy. Had he always sounded like that? Hux’s breath caught in his throat. What had he been expecting? He felt around for the link again with a greater sense of urgency. “Or is it Supreme Leader now? Grand Marshal, perhaps?” His voice was laced with an undercurrent of…something. Not quite a threat, but there was a warning there. Or was it uncertainty? Hux longed to reach out. To touch Ren again. To assure himself that he was really there and not a ghost conjured by overwork and too much caf.</p>
<p>He dimly remembered the promise he’d made to himself to resolve things between them; to talk rather than push away. The reality of actually being faced with Ren after so long, after kriffing <i>months</i> without even a whisper of communication, threw all his carefully planned speeches and explanations and reasoning out of the airlock. </p>
<p>“Just General for now. There are— Discussions are ongoing.” He struggled to focus his thoughts. Ren looked good on his sofa, legs spread, booted ankle resting on his knee. He looked strong, powerful, untouchable. He was still an arrogant prick though. He had to remember that. </p>
<p>Ren’s lips twitched and Hux immediately shut down that line of thought. He’d assumed the link was closed because he’d been unable to sense anything coming through it but… was Ren still listening in? Had he been there this whole time?</p>
<p>“No, not the entire time. I’ve been careful to guard my thoughts since you object so much to my presence, but there is little I can do to stop your thoughts finding their way into my head. Especially when you project so loudly.” Ren smirked and suddenly he looked more like the Ren Hux had grown accustomed to when they used to meet in his dreams.</p>
<p>Even so. “I do not project!” </p>
<p>Ren shrugged. “Don’t worry. It won’t be an issue for much longer.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Hux paused with the tumbler halfway to his lips. He was still hovering awkwardly by his drinks cabinet, while Ren lounged on his sofa.</p>
<p>“I’ve found a solution.” He downed his whiskey with a wince and set the tumbler on the floor. He sat forward, his elbows on his knees.</p>
<p>Hux blinked. “A solution? You mean… to this?” He gestured between their heads. Just in case Ren was talking about something else. It was good to be cautious. </p>
<p>When Ren nodded, it felt like time had slowed down. He lowered himself to the sofa, the opposite end to Ren, before his knees could give out. It must be the stress. This was it. This was what he’d been waiting for since he’d first discovered Ren in his head. All this time and now finally, Ren had found a solution? </p>
<p>“I located an ancient Jedi text. It spoke of different kinds of mind links and Force-bonds. I think that’s what we have—the Force wanted us connected for a reason and it linked our minds. I think… I’m not sure, but I think we— I— something was triggered when you saved my life after Starkiller, and then my entering your mind completed the… um. The circuit, I guess. And joined us. It’s not supposed to happen like that, but—” He shrugged. “—the Force can be hard to interpret. But yeah, these links are very powerful and intended for life. I’ve found a…um. A ritual, though. It can be severed. You can rid yourself of me.” He’d turned on the sofa to face Hux, one leg tucked under the other. He looked so earnest, so hopeful.</p>
<p>“A ritual?” Hux’s head was spinning. He should be relieved. Why didn’t he feel relieved? “And what does this ritual entail?” He needed details. Details would help. It was the unknown aspect that was wrapping his chest in ice, that was all.</p>
<p>Ren pressed his lips together. Hux could see his mind working. “It involves unpicking our… essence? The tangled strings of our consciousnesses. It needs a third party. Someone powerful with the Force. It won’t be easy and could cause permanent damage to both of us—”</p>
<p>“Permanent damage?”  </p>
<p>“That’s a worst case scenario. I’m sure it wouldn’t come to that. Uh… Probably”</p>
<p>“Well.” Hux huffed disbelievingly. Shook his head in lieu of words. He wasn’t sure what to think. Freedom from Ren would likely cost him his mind. Living with Ren in his head, able to read every thought, every whim—stars, the dreams. <i>Fuck</i>—would almost certainly send him insane. But he’d come to terms with that, and now Ren was saying it didn’t have to be that way? He grabbed the whiskey and topped off his glass. “You’re really selling it to me.”</p>
<p>Ren laughed softly as he held out his glass for a refill and Hux scowled. Was this a joke to him? He looked so pleased with himself, a self-satisfied smirk playing at his lips, but Hux just felt cold. Removing the link would be for the best, he knew that logically. Even with the risk, it was the sensible thing to do. So why did the idea leave him feeling so bereft? </p>
<p>“You want it severed?” Hux asked carefully. He thought he’d kept his voice even, but something must have shown because the smile dropped from Ren’s face and he frowned.</p>
<p>“Don’t you?”</p>
<p>“I—” Hux shook his head, struggling to verbalise the flood of conflicting emotions. He looked down at his knees, picking at a couple of strands of ginger fur that clung to his trousers. “I… don’t know…”</p>
<p>Silence fell between them, tense and uncomfortable. Hux steeled himself to tell Ren to go ahead with the ritual. It was the right thing to do. But…</p>
<p>But then Ren was in his head, the sensation of the link waking up, unfurling like a flower in spring, blooming in his mind, was enough to make Hux gasp involuntarily. Foreign, yet familiar, emotions flooded through him. He looked at Ren, then, his brown eyes earnest, face imploring. <i>I’m just trying to give you what you want, Hux. I only want you happy.</i></p>
<p>Hux closed his eyes and felt the essence of Ren wash over him; his hope, his fear of rejection. And then a series of images. They felt like memories, but Hux knew it was nothing that had happened to him, despite him being present in all of them. Hux has to concentrate to absorb all the details. Him and Ren, together. Fancy regalia. Their hands were clasped together. An embrace. Sat together in a vast hall filled with rapt faces.</p>
<p>Hux opened his eyes. “What…?”</p>
<p>“The Force. It finally showed me a path.” </p>
<p>“That’s the future?”</p>
<p>“It could be.”</p>
<p>Ren leaned forward then, closing the distance between them and before Hux knew what was happening, Ren’s lips were on his. They were chapped, and a little scratchy, but warm. He smelled like Hux’s good whiskey and wood smoke. Like sweat and darkness and space.</p>
<p>Hux didn’t kiss back. He couldn’t. He was frozen in place. His brain incapable of processing what was happening. </p>
<p>Ren pulled away after only a few seconds, eyes uncertain, fearful. Kriff, but he looked so young sometimes. A multitude of emotions flitted across his face in quick succession, his expression falling at Hux’s continued lack of reaction. He should say something. Hux <i>knew</i> he should say something, but what? Why couldn’t Ren just pluck the words from his head and save him the bother of working out what he should say?</p>
<p>“What— what was that?” he said eventually.</p>
<p>“I kissed you.”</p>
<p>Hux rolled his eyes. “I know that, but… why?”</p>
<p>“Because I wanted to. Because I know you can’t make up your mind about me, and… I’m hoping to swing things in my favour.”</p>
<p>“…by kissing me?”</p>
<p>“I know you’ve thought about it.” Ren grinned, suddenly confident. “And more.”</p>
<p>Hux gaped at him, his face heating as several very specific, very private thoughts he’d had rushed to the forefront. He felt a teasing brush against his mind, an acknowledgement, a fondness there he’d not felt before. </p>
<p>“You project. A lot. It’s really quite distracting.” </p>
<p>“I… I…” Hux’s mouth flapped uselessly, mortification stealing all his words. Ren remained the most infuriating person he’d ever had the displeasure of meeting. He glared, imagining himself choking the life out of Ren with his bare hands. “How’s this for projecting.”</p>
<p>Ren smirked. “All I get from that is how much you long to hold me close.”</p>
<p>Hux made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat and got up from the sofa. He needed to not be near Ren, but he also couldn’t bear him to be too far from him. The kiss, brief and chaste though it was, had already been burned into his mind, the feeling of Ren’s lips on his still present. A tingling. He wanted to press his fingers to his lips, see if he could feel where Ren had been, but instead, he clasped his hands behind his back, knuckles digging into his spine as he stood staring blindly at the bank of screens behind his desk. </p>
<p> The annoying thing was, Ren was right. He <i>did</i> want to hold him, to feel that raw power beneath his hands. To make him cower, to bend him to his will, to pin him against the bulkhead and pound into him and… where was that thought even coming from? The image of him bending Ren over the ice blue sofa flickered across his mind; Ren spread out on the conference table in the corner; Ren taking him into his mouth while he completed his admin work, one hand tangled in Ren’s hair. </p>
<p>“I’d let you, you know.” Ren’s voice sounded from right behind him and Hux jumped. “Use me anyway you’d like.” Hux spun around and was instantly caught by warm brown eyes. They danced over him, alight with amusement and promise and something altogether more intense. “Or the other way around, if that’s what you prefer.” Ren shrugged. He took a step closer and reached out, gently cupping Hux’s jaw with an over-sized hand.</p>
<p>Hux knew he should protest, should shove Ren away, gain the upper-hand somehow, but he once again found himself frozen. He couldn’t even blame it on the Force; it was something in him. It was the comforting warmth of Ren’s hand. It was the link thrumming and alive for the first time in months. Ren completed parts of him he hadn’t even noticed were missing and Hux’s entire being was taut with anticipation. </p>
<p>“You feel it too, don’t you,” Ren said, brushing his thumb over Hux’s cheekbone. The leather was softer than he thought it would be. Warm and supple. Hux shuddered. He should pull away. He fisted his hands against Ren’s chest, but made no further move. <i>Pathetic.</i> His voice, not Ren’s. </p>
<p>“I’ve always felt drawn to you,” Ren continued. “Even when there was nothing but hatred and petty rivalry between us. I always needed to know where you were, to be near, but I never realised what it meant. Don’t you see? We were destined to end up here. Together. Us against the galaxy.”</p>
<p>Hux scoffed. He couldn’t help it. Even having witnessed the effects of the Force, having had the Force used on him, having had Ren in his head, he still took it all with a grain of salt. <i>Destined to be together.</i> He’d never heard of anything quite so ridiculous in all his life</p>
<p>Ren sighed, clearly picking up on his thoughts. “I know you don’t believe it—despite everything that’s happened,” he added with no small measure of disdain, “but you can’t tell me you don’t feel the thread twining our fates together. The feeling of… of… rightness now we’re in the same room.”</p>
<p>Hux rolled his eyes. “You’re full of shit, Ren.”</p>
<p>“Think about how good it could be. You and me. Together. The galaxy is ours if we want it, no one could stop us. I’ve seen it; I know it can happen.” Ren crowded into his space kissing him again, guiding his face with the hand still on his jaw. Hux wanted to resist. He tried. Pressed weakly against Ren’s chest, but when Ren started to move back, Hux opened his mouth, chasing the kiss. He felt Ren’s lips curl into a smile, his arms tightening around him.</p>
<p>Hux couldn’t deny how much of an effect Ren’s words had on him. It was an idea he’d toyed with a lot over the past few months. “You said it wasn’t definite,” he said, remembering the vision Ren had shared.</p>
<p>“Nothing is. But I can feel it. Can’t you? This is where we’re meant to be.”</p>
<p>Ren leaned in for another kiss. Hux would never admit it out loud but it was intoxicating hearing Ren speak with such certainty about them, about their power, united. Ren smirked against his lips and walked him back until his legs hit the edge of the desk.</p>
<p>“I’ll give you everything. You know I can. So how do you want this?”</p>
<p>Fuck. He was so gone. So very gone. But… “What about the link?”</p>
<p>“Stays or goes. It’s up to you.” <i>I would miss hearing all your filthy fantasies though,</i> Ren added.</p>
<p>Hux flushed. There were definite perks to being able to communicate like this. He wondered how many of his fantasies Ren was privy to…</p>
<p>“Let’s just say, we won’t run out of things to do for a while,” Ren purred, and Hux felt the rumble of his voice throughout his whole body.</p>
<p>He was almost too overcome with lust to think straight. It had been so long, too long, since anyone had been this close to him. He wanted everything.</p>
<p>Ren leaned in again, dragging his teeth along Hux’s neck. “Anything. Anything you want.” </p>
<p>Deciding to use the link intentionally, Hux sent him an image. Something he’d thought about an uncountable number of times: Ren between his legs, mouth on his cock, as Hux leaned back in his desk chair.</p>
<p><i>Yes, let me taste you.</i> Ren picked him up like it was nothing, hands on his arse cheeks. Hux wrapped his arms around his neck. He lowered Hux into his chair and knelt before him, between Hux’s spread legs, running his hands up Hux’s thighs. His fingers teased the crease at the top of his legs, so close to where Hux wanted him to be. He bit down on his lip to stifle the needy sound that threatened to escape and gripped the arms of his chair, thankful for the gloves that hid his surely whitened knuckles. He tried to keep his breathing steady. He could already feel his erection straining against the fabric of his starched trousers; imagined he could feel Ren’s hot breath on his length. </p>
<p>Ren looked up at him, pupils blown wide, full lips wet and kiss bitten, as he pulled down the zipper. Slow. Teasing. The tips of Ren’s fingers brushed against his length and Hux hissed. He could come from this alone, he was sure. He couldn’t untangle his feelings from Ren’s, caught in some kind of heightened arousal feedback loop. It was like being a teenager again, turned on by the merest whiff of nudity, the faintest touch.</p>
<p>And then Ren’s mouth was on him, lips stretching around his shaft as he swallowed him down. Hux groaned, unable to stifle the sound at the feeling of Ren’s hot mouth around him, his tongue teasing his glans.</p>
<p>“Oh, kriffing hells, Ren,” Hux murmured, hands flying to Ren’s head, grabbing fistfuls of dark hair. One of Ren’s hands was around the base of his cock, but the other slipped lower, grazing over his balls, then further back, to press at his hole. The soft leather felt sinfully good against the sensitive skin, Hux didn’t know whether to thrust up into the heat of Ren’s mouth or push back to get more pressure against his rim. </p>
<p><i>So good, Hux. So good.</i> Ren’s inane praise slipped through the link. Or had he said it out loud? Hux wasn’t even sure now. Fuck. He was going to come. He could feel his orgasm approaching, but it was too soon. He wanted to draw this out.</p>
<p>He tugged at Ren’s hair and Ren pulled off, sitting back on his heels. He didn’t remove his hands. He looked up at Hux expectantly, eyes wide, like a puppy begging for treats. So eager to please. It sent a fresh frisson of arousal through Hux.</p>
<p>“You can come in my mouth,” Ren said, misunderstanding Hux’s sudden hesitance. “I don’t mind. I want to taste you.”</p>
<p>“No, I—” He shook his head. “I want to— I— You. Naked. Nextdoor.” Hux managed finally and Ren grinned. He unfolded from the floor and lifted Hux from his chair in one graceful move, and if Hux hadn’t already dropped his trousers for him, that would have done it. He yelped, finding himself suddenly airborne and wrapped his legs around Ren’s waist, his arms around Ren’s neck.</p>
<p>Ren carried him through the connecting door, through the small living area, and into the bedroom, Millicent fleeing the room with a startled <i>mrraow.</i></p>
<p>Ren laid him down on the bed and stood at the foot, breathing heavily. He looked utterly wrecked already despite still being fully clothed. Hux’s appraising gaze caught on his gloves and he shuddered at the memory of what they’d just been touching. Ren seemed to be in no hurry, waiting patiently for Hux to decide what happened next.</p>
<p>He had a pretty good idea of what he wanted now.</p>
<p>“Strip.”</p>
<p>Ren smirked. “As you wish”</p>
<p>Hux raised onto his elbows and watched hungrily as Ren slowly revealed his body, one item of clothing at a time. When he straightened after slipping off his underwear—bright red trunks, rather than the standard issue black First Order briefs, Hux noted with some amusement—Hux’s eyes widened. He’d thought Ren felt large when they rutted against each other at his desk but he’d been unprepared for the… the <i>majesty</i> of Ren’s cock. His mouth filled with saliva as he cycled through all the possibilities and updated his fantasies with this new, very important, information.</p>
<p>“Your turn,” Ren said, drawing Hux’s attention back to his face, so open and expressive. Stars. How had he not seen it before?</p>
<p>Hux scrambled off the bed and out of his clothes with far less grace than Ren, but at least he folded the items before tossing them to the floor.</p>
<p>He knew it wasn’t technically the first time Ren had seen him naked, thanks to his appearances in certain dreams, but he couldn’t help but feel a little self conscious. His body was pale and slender, his shoulders barely half as broad as Ren’s, but he fought the urge to curl into himself or fold his arms defensively across his chest. The <i>“Beautiful.”</i> comment from Ren was a shock, but he could feel Ren’s esteem through the link and so knew it wasn’t a lie. The honesty of the compliment made his face heat.</p>
<p>Then Ren was wrapped around him, all grace gone as they tumbled onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. Hux wanted to touch every inch of Ren, could barely decide where to start. He straddled Ren’s hips, spread his hands over Ren’s chest. Pinched one nipple, rolling it between finger and thumb, delighting in Ren’s responsiveness as he writhed and shuddered beneath him.</p>
<p>Hux finally got his hands on Ren’s cock.</p>
<p>“Majestic,” Ren snorted.</p>
<p>“You were listening?” Hux groaned, embarrassed.</p>
<p>“I like it. No one’s ever called my junk majestic before.”</p>
<p>“Well, don’t get used to it,” Hux grumbled. He shut up any further comment with a hungry kiss.</p>
<p>Ren rolled his hips, thrusting up into Hux’s fist and Hux decided then he needed that cock in his mouth. Needed to taste Ren. He made his way down Ren’s body, tongue and teeth following the path his hands had mapped. Teasing nipples with teeth, licking the salty sweat from his abs, dipping his tongue into his navel, while Ren squirmed and murmured encouragements both out loud and through the link. Hux wanted to taste every inch of him, wanted to see what other sounds he could draw from him, but then Ren’s cock was in front of his face, dribbling precome into the nest of thick dark curls. </p>
<p>He dragged his tongue the length of Ren’s shaft, circling the head, then back again. Ren’s hands were in his hair, gripping tightly, toeing the line between pleasure and pain. He was near delirious from Hux’s ministrations, a stream of <i>fuck fuck yes come on Hux please more</i> pouring through the link. How many people had had their mouths here, Hux wondered. How many had seen Ren come so undone? </p>
<p>Having Ren in his head while he sucked his cock was intoxicating. Ren’s emotions, his arousal, his desire flooding Hux’s head. He felt completely engulfed by him. What would it feel like to have him inside? To experience the fullness of being fucked with Ren inside his mind too.</p>
<p>“Fuck, yes, Hux. Let me. I want to.”</p>
<p>Ren didn’t wait for a response—or perhaps he felt Hux’s eagerness through the link—he flipped them over, settling above Hux, caging him on the bed, a look of wonderment on his face. They kissed again, Hux scratched his nails down Ren’s back, closing the distance between them. He shivered as Ren’s cock rubbed against his, chased the friction. He could come from this, he was sure. But he still wanted more, craved the fullness, wanted as much as he could get. </p>
<p>And then Ren was gone, sitting back on his heels, grinning down at him. “Ren? What—?” His chest gleamed, sweaty, marred with red marks from Hux’s attentions. Hux reached for him, needing him close. His cock ached, standing proudly out from his thatch of ginger hair, hard and leaking.</p>
<p>“Patience, Hux,” he said with a smirk, and he slid down Hux’s body, lifting Hux’s legs over his shoulder. Hux felt his hot breath on his cock, his thick hair tickling the inside of his thighs. He was moments from snapping at Ren to get on with it. He couldn’t take the teasing. He expected to feel that wide mouth, those plush lips, stretch around his length, but Ren dipped his head lower, and Hux gasped when he felt Ren’s tongue swipe over his hole.</p>
<p>“You want this?” Ren asked. Rather unnecessarily in Hux’s opinion.</p>
<p>“Yes,” he hissed. “Stop talking and get on with it.” He canted his hips and jabbed his heels into Ren’s back to bring him closer again.</p>
<p>Ren laughed, but took the instruction well, laving attention on Hux’s arse, alternating between broad, flat strokes and short, jabbing thrusts that dipped past his rim.</p>
<p>Hux was incoherent with pleasure, the obscene wet sounds coming from Ren’s mouth only fuelling his desire. He scrabbled for purchase on the blankets, trying to get closer, get further away, he didn’t even know. He wanted to come. He <i>needed</i> to come. Ren was giving him just enough to keep him on the edge. It was infuriating. If he didn’t get that glorious cock in him soon—</p>
<p>“Lube?” Ren’s lips were swollen and red, his chin shiny with spit.</p>
<p>“Nightstand.” He twisted to grab it, but Ren beat him, draping over Hux and dropping a kiss on his forehead as he stretched over him. It was sickeningly intimate and Hux hated that he didn’t hate it.</p>
<p>Ren murmured a litany of filth through the link as he worked his fingers in, making Hux’s toes curl, and his breath rasp out of him in sharp pants. By the time Ren had worked three fingers in, Hux’s whole body was quivering.</p>
<p>“How do you want this?” Ren asked. </p>
<p>Hux stared up at him. When had he become so considerate? “Like this,” he said. The words barely a whisper.</p>
<p>Ren smiled, soft, tremulous, and sunk into him, slowly, slowly. Filling Hux up, forcing a deep groan from his throat. It was almost too much, Ren’s care, the sensation of being filled, the way he could feel Ren’s arousal, the vast weight of his want, coming through the link.</p>
<p>Hux lost all track of time passing, or anything except Ren over him, inside him, heart and mind. It was more intense than anything he’d ever felt—none of his previous partners even came close. Ren thrust into him, over and over, harder, faster, hitting that most sensitive of spots with exacting precision again and again. His orgasm took him by surprise, hitting with such force his vision whited out for a second. Above him, Ren growled and tensed, his movements jerky as he reached completion too. Hux dug his nails into the meat of Ren’s shoulders, face pressed into Ren’s sweaty hair, needing the contact to ground him while aftershocks rippled through him. </p>
<p>They collapsed on the bed sweaty and sated. Skin sticky from Hux’s release. The link hummed happily, a warm buzz that made him feel safe. Hux knew he’d have to make a decision about the link soon but for now, with Ren’s fingers in his hair, Ren’s heart beating beneath his ear, he didn’t want anything to change.</p>
<p>That night, he slept for longer and with more ease than he could ever remember doing. And when he woke up, Ren was still there, curled protectively around him.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Hux stood in front of his mirror, adjusting the fall of the cloak around his shoulders. He’d disregarded most of the ceremonial attire his advisers had wanted to inflict upon him—a simpering desire to appease all nations that had accepted their rule. Hux was of the opinion that they would be better served with something other than pointless platitudes, but nonetheless, he’d accepted the diadem, the cloak embroidered and studded with enough precious stones that he could barely stand beneath its weight. Hopefully not a prophetic statement. </p>
<p>He sighed and readjusted the clasp. Again. The entire ceremony was fairly pointless, in his view—something his advisers thought necessary in order to acknowledge First Order rule over the Outer Rim and an increasing number of planets in the Unknown regions. Nevermind. It was a necessary evil, he supposed. Surveys of various populations had shown many were in favour of a bit of pomp, and who was he to deny them the spectacle? </p>
<p>“Lord Hux, Lord Ren has arrived, he—”</p>
<p>“—Doesn’t need announcing, Mitaka. Go find a dignitary to bother. I heard an envoy from the New Republic arrived not five minutes ago.” Hux smiled at the sound of Ren’s exasperation. It was reassuring to know he wasn’t the only one tired of this nonsense.</p>
<p>“You look beautiful,” Ren said, standing beside him at the mirror. He looped his arm around Hux, hand coming to rest gently on his hip.</p>
<p>Hux scoffed. Rolled his eyes. There was no malice in it. “I’m not supposed to look beautiful. I’m supposed to look commanding, powerful. Fearsome.”</p>
<p>“And you do. All of that. But also beautiful.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Hux’s cheek, and then the other. “And majestic.” He grinned and dodged out of the way of Hux’s elbow as it headed for his ribs.</p>
<p>He attempted to glare at Ren in the mirror as he flicked imaginary fluff from his cloak. Ren just chuckled at him, stilling his hand. “Are you ready?” he asked, meeting Hux’s eye.</p>
<p>Hux took a deep breath and nodded. It was too late for anything else, anyway. Mitaka poked his head around the door.</p>
<p>“My Lords, we’re ready for you.”</p>
<p>He followed Mitaka onto the stage, taking in row upon row of stormtroopers and officers and technical staff, armour gleaming, tunics pressed; the swathes of diplomatic envoys all dressed in their finery, embellishments glinting in the sun. </p>
<p>He turned to Ren and smiled. This was it. The culmination of years of work.</p>
<p><i>I told you the galaxy would be ours.</i> Ren said, smugness flowing through the link, along with pride and something huge and encompassing they’d yet to put a name on.</p>
<p><i>And I never doubted you,</i> Hux replied, taking his hand and entwining their fingers together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Come find me on <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/coriesocks">Tumblr</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/coriesocks">Twitter</a> @coriesocks &lt;3<br/>Art by the wonderful <a href="https://ellalba.tumblr.com/">Ellalba</a> so please go shower them with love too!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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